Tuesday, April 11, 2006

well late night was kool i was on a date with my Girl friend and her bestfriend and her boyfriend (which is My Best friend) which was kool but somr thing went wrong travis was not talking or any thing and i got weird and started to ask "what wrong what wrong man?" he didnt talk then every one kept asking and askng tell eh couldn't take it he just got up and left and he girl was woiried(i know i cant spell) i did know what to say to her but i tryed and she seamed fine but i was still scard for travis i...just did know till later cuz we talked and aperntly the thing were the Girls "kissed" pussed him over the edge i not really into the holl girl on girl thing but i think it finre im really not sure cuz i felt a little jelose but i got over it travis i my bro and i feal for him but i dont know if hes ready for a nother girl because he not over his ex i feal so bad for him i wish i could do or say something that would take his pain away even for a moment just so he could feal life like a raguler kid u know i dont think he ever got a chance to be one im realy not sure but i cant keep watching him spiral down wards into the deep hole he wants to call home life is waiting for him and hes scard so im i donno if ill be ready he almost 18 and turning 17 it crazzy how life passed by so fast iwas i was 7 again u know life was simple then the more i think the more i rember life then and widhing to see my dad...miss hem life ant the same with out him and i want to die some times just to see him i cut to feal the pain to make sure its realy cuz it dont feal that way blood in blood out it the way me and my friends used to say they were full of crap they didnt know what its like to feal that much pain they were right though blood in blood out that the way things go life a bitch and it well never get easy and lot give in i dont want to be a sestistic on some chart but it so temting just to guve in to let go of lifei can t deal with all of this shit on my mind i dont trust myself......................................................................................................................







Dead is the way i belong
feal the blade run-a-long my skin
blood slowly plusing out along the metal
i can feal the pain letting go of me

when ths happens i think that evrey one luck
they never hade the life i did they never have too
there so luck i think yeah sure they hav promblems
not like me though this shit so be happy

u have to hold ur head up high little boy
look at the good things in life dont do it
that what they used to say and i laugh and say like what realy what tell me one thing and it would be silent that how it always was life what life


i the end were all dead any way right so why wait that what think



Peace

im done
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