Friday, March 11, 2005

   Finally, I've finished the new layout
I've come a long way since yesterday haven't I?? Well, I like this layout alot cause it suits me, I'm obsessed with darkness and the abscence of- and my room is completely black and white (have to post a pic of it sometime). So, this is most definitly my style^^ You guys like??

Oh! and I posted a pic, an older one, please comment and vote^^
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Wednesday, March 9, 2005

   Diablo
such a fun game, Shawn and I were playing it online today^^, twas cool
I also went to tutoring- which sucked. But my days are better now, since I talked things out with Trevor. I may have no idea how much he loves me, but I know he does at least^^
Oh- and i added a forum to the fallen lovers page!
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Tuesday, March 8, 2005

   hiya all^^
guess where I am now?! Trevor's house- yay!!! Its late, I'll soon have to get home, but thats fine, I'm better now, not so depressed, I have all I need, right here.. sitting there on the couch playing Jak 2.
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Monday, March 7, 2005

   To slowly die inside? This is how it goes...
I may look happy, but I'm not, not lately anyway. Now that the whole gun thing has blown over, Trevor's not acting like he needs me anymore. And I'm really starting to wonder what I mean to him. I always thought that he loved me, cause I'm so madly in love with him.
We've been together for 2 years now, we read eachothers thoughts, and we know each other so well. We're perfect together, so why am I so unhappy now? Well, this is reality, and next year I'm going to be living an hour away with a girl and two guys, and I'll be meeting alot of guys in school, but he doesn't seem worried. He's not just my highschool sweat heart, he's my true love. I love everything about him and I don't ever want to be with anyone else. But I think he's thinking differently, he never talks about the future with me and that really hurts.
Today there was a big fuss over nothing, but it hurt me. Shawn, our friend, said he'd be married by the time he was 28, then he asked Trevor if he would be and he said, "Hells No!". I thought nothing of it, just a little worried as to when exactly he would be ready, being that it would be 10 years from now. So, he said to me, "don't worry, if I were to marry you it would be sooner then that, cause we've already been together 2 years." WELL HOLY FUCK, HOW IS THAT SUPPOSED TO HELP!? in connection to him saying "hells no", that means that he has no plan on marrying me. Well fuck, at least I thought of it as a possibilty, who the fuck does he see himself marrying then?
He makes me feel so worthless lately... For fucks sake Trevor, if you loved me would you at least act like it. never kissed me once in the hall today did you? Just brushed me off. right?
I don't want to get married, I just want to feel like he wants me around, like he used to.
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   Bah!
Hmmm... quite a few interesting comments on the last post, you're all a fun bunch^^. I'm in school now, so bored. Trevor gave me his Diablo game so I guess I'll play that when I get home, online gamnes amaze me I must say^^
I have to tutor after school as well- boohoo. Tutoring sux :(
Hope you're all have more fun than me, school is so boring. Well, later dayz, I'll decide about posting my pic this evening. Later

Luv, K
xXxthe fallen onexXx
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Sunday, March 6, 2005

   so sweepy....
Helped my boyfriend with his site all day yesterday, his name is Drugofthefallen (cause he is my medicine^^), you should check out his site, he only has 15 guestbook entries:(.
I baby-sat last night, didn't get home till 3:30 this morning and I was up again at nine trying to make some avatars^^ But I can never get the transparencies to work, even when I follow tutorials O.o.
Well, I was debating whether or not to post a pic of myself her cause some were wondering what I looked like, I don't really mind but I'm not too sure I'm comfy with it, what if some old man sits at home and jerks of to it... ew. What should I do?
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Saturday, March 5, 2005

   hiya!
Last night I went to Trevor's house. Twas mediocre, but at least I got to see him. Everything is fine now, thankyou all for the support.

Well, this morning, at around 8:30 my time, I updated the fallen lovers site, hope you all like it. Also, I'm after posting 3 new pics like yesterday or somethin, so if you haven't seen them yet please check them out^^ I need all the votes I can get after someone voted me off the list out of spite- asshole.

Anyways, Trevo and I watched a movie last night, a very poorly done movie called Heavy Metal, but its old and features alot of good but older bands like Black Sabbath. You may have heard of it, or the other movie, Heavy Metal 2000, or the magazine. anyways- here's a pic below^^

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Friday, March 4, 2005

   new pics
I submitted 3 new pics last night- please check them out, comment, and vote for me^^ And thanks to obsezdwithGC (however it is spelt), for all your votes^^
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   yesterday...
Things were so crazy yesterday, as you've prolly already seen. Trevor, my hunny, brought a pellet(BB) gun to school a couple days ago. Now, don't worry, it wasn't a threat to anyone, its been broken for about 20 years now, and they stopped manking pellets for it. So anyway, the boys asked him to bring it, and like an idiot he did. but he didn't have it out in the open and he meant to bring it home that day and put it away- but he forgot about it and left it in his bookbag. They came and took him out of class yesterday... asked him if he had a firearm... and he's like "no, ... um but I have a capgun that hasn't worked in 20 years". So they searched him, my poor baby, and found it in the bottom of his bookbag. (See its such a big deal cause I go to school in a small town and this has never happened). They called in a cop, and Trevor's dad. I had no way to get to him and see what was really goin on but people were stopping me in the hall saying "Was Trevor arrested?", "Did he bring a gun to school?", "I heard your boyfriend tried to shoot you". I WANTED THEM ALL TO JUST FUCK OFF!! I had no idea what was goin on and I was so worried. So, I snuck into the office to talk to him... he told me hy he was in trouble and I told him it'll be okay, and then the guidance consillor came in and I had to leave. After that when I went to the office there was no one there. I called but his dad would not let me talk to him. I was a mess. I cried, then I calmed done, then I was all edgey... I've never been like that. Well, I got to talk to him last night and say everything I was waiting to say. He's only suspended for 2 days... This post is too long... later
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Thursday, March 3, 2005

Forget the last post!
Just forget what I said on the last post okay...(which I have deleted) I love this guy. TREVOR I DO LOVE YOU!!!! Some thing really unexpected happened in school today- someting crazy, and Trevor got in big trouble. Honestly, I didn't care about what he did either, I just wanted to get to him and comfort him. All my love turned into empathy. He had to go home, he got "suspended" I guess... and I was left to cry in AP Lit class. I felt so cut off from him. I didn't want him to be alone. I want to talk to him but his dad won't let me. If he stumbles upon this, I understand and I want to be with you. Everythings gonna be fine.
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