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Moofin
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Birthday
1987-07-10
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Female
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Canada
Member Since
2004-08-25
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Uni student
Real Name
Kristina
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pfft, Being me. *poses* hoyeah.
Anime Fan Since
dragon ball, when I was a wheee little one 8)
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Ghost in the Shell, Angel Sanctuary, NG:E, Bleach, death note, lots more.
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get something from nothing?
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listening to music, discovering kick ass low class talent, writing, reading, drawing, partying, mallin, fukin? I DONT KNOW.... lots of stuff.
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I gots many, cause Im that good =x
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myOtaku.com: fallen otaku
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Monday, March 7, 2005
To slowly die inside? This is how it goes...
I may look happy, but I'm not, not lately anyway. Now that the whole gun thing has blown over, Trevor's not acting like he needs me anymore. And I'm really starting to wonder what I mean to him. I always thought that he loved me, cause I'm so madly in love with him.
We've been together for 2 years now, we read eachothers thoughts, and we know each other so well. We're perfect together, so why am I so unhappy now? Well, this is reality, and next year I'm going to be living an hour away with a girl and two guys, and I'll be meeting alot of guys in school, but he doesn't seem worried. He's not just my highschool sweat heart, he's my true love. I love everything about him and I don't ever want to be with anyone else. But I think he's thinking differently, he never talks about the future with me and that really hurts.
Today there was a big fuss over nothing, but it hurt me. Shawn, our friend, said he'd be married by the time he was 28, then he asked Trevor if he would be and he said, "Hells No!". I thought nothing of it, just a little worried as to when exactly he would be ready, being that it would be 10 years from now. So, he said to me, "don't worry, if I were to marry you it would be sooner then that, cause we've already been together 2 years." WELL HOLY FUCK, HOW IS THAT SUPPOSED TO HELP!? in connection to him saying "hells no", that means that he has no plan on marrying me. Well fuck, at least I thought of it as a possibilty, who the fuck does he see himself marrying then?
He makes me feel so worthless lately... For fucks sake Trevor, if you loved me would you at least act like it. never kissed me once in the hall today did you? Just brushed me off. right?
I don't want to get married, I just want to feel like he wants me around, like he used to.
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