Thursday, March 10, 2005

Leaving
I won't be able to get on myO for the next few days or maybe a week. My grade is slipping in math and I next to bring it back up in about 4 days. So I won't be able to get to anyones site. Plus there are still issues with Sheir that have got to worked out before I collaspe. My L.A. teacher, Mrs. Relihan, excused me from this essay she gave us till I'm feeling up to the challange to write it. Plus I almost started to cry in 6th period(Mrs. Relihan's class) and in homeroom because of all the stuff thats been happening. And none of my friends have seen me cry, so if I start to cry infront of them, they'll know its pretty bad.

Good bye for now.

-FallenVampireDrow-
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Monday, March 7, 2005

   My New Baby Cousin!!!!!!!
Yep. I agree. My brain is more male than female. ^^

Your Brain is 46.67% Female, 53.33% Male

Your brain is a healthy mix of male and female You are both sensitive and savvy Rational and reasonable, you tend to keep level headed But you also tend to wear your heart on your sleeve

What Gender Is Your Brain?

I'm soooo happy! I've got a new baby cousin! Heres a picture of him.



Its he cute! Hes name is Robert Evan Peublo Jr. He was born Saturday March 5 at 3 p.m. Thats my uncle Robert holding him.

I'm also happy because my stpemom got yelled at last night. I was watching Goldmember when I decided to go to the Guide. The tv goes mute and theres no picture. Thats when I heard it. My dad was telling Sheir that she was acting like a 15 year old. I have to hide my face it a pillow to keep them from hearing my laughter. You see, my sister had take one bite out of the last piece of cake and it was the only taste of it she had because all of my neightbors and me and my parents had had a piece. So my stepmom came into the loft and turned off the tv just because she took a bite and then said something to Krista. Oh! I wish I could have seen the look on her face when he yelled at her.

*is tranported to a boxing ring*
Announcer: In this corner is the Almightly Erin!!! *cheers from the crowd* And in this corner is the Evil Stepmom Sheri! *boos from the crowd* Ready? Fight! *we meet and she jabs at my head with her left fist. I duck and come in with a quick jab with my left fist then an upper cut with my right, catching her in the jaw. She falls down and it knocked out cold*
Announcer: And the winner is Erin! *raises my fist*
Other announcer from the box: The score is Sheri: 0 Erin: 1.

Man I wish that could really happen. ^^

Anyway. I'm going to post a picture of me, my dog Molly and my sister Krista. The picture was used as our Christmas Card. ^^;



Thats me on the right and my sister on the left. *hides* I was having a bad hair day. -.- You know how many times I had to change outfits till my father was happy? 4 damn times! Isn't my dog adorable!?!?

Okay. Now its time for me to eat some Hot Cheetos, drink some coke, get my stuff ready for tomorrow and then its time to watch...24!!!!!! Oh yeah. G'night all!
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Friday, March 4, 2005

Heartache
I hate my stepmom. She is so cruel. Whenever my father isn't home, she orders us around and calls us names and tells us that we've got to do stuff the way SHE wants us too or else we'll get in trouble. And shes always asking us questions and the main one is: Do you have plans this weekend? And yesterday, before my father got home, we told her we didn't have any plans tonight and she said, "Don't you have any friends?" We said yes and then she says, "Just go. Get out of the house." I seriously close to telling her off. Oh! And she made me take my dog on a walk in the freezing rain! She acts as if me and my sister are a illness and that our dog doesn't get taken on a long enough walk. We take her out for atleast 20 damn minutes 2 times a day! And she get put outside almost every 2 hours! >:| And she has 4 phobeias(sp?) One is a fear of clowns. One is of puppets. One is of things being disorganized. And one of things being dirty. So whenever I put my jacket on my dresser along with my hair brush. She puts my hair brush away and tells me to clean up my room when all I've got to do is move my jacket! I swear I'll kill her soon!

Okay. I'm sorry if it seems like I just keep ranting about how crappy things in my life are everytime I post, but this is one of the only places I can do that.

Heres alittle something I wrote last night when I was really pissed off and sad.

Heartache

Why must i continue on as if I'm happy?
So that others may be cheerful and have their hearts brightened at seeing someone they care dearly for?
Or so I may suffer the demonic words of people who were once my dearest friends?
If so, why not just end my life?
With a gash in each arm, I could leave this world behind and journey forth to unexplored lands that many yurn to enter; leaving my limp body and dark crimson fluid soaking into the floor as a grim present for my friends and family to morn over.
But, I haven't chosen that road yet.
I've released my anger and self pity in bitter tears that none have seen and only a soiled pillow as a witness.
I've yet to feel the undying warmth of someone who truely cares about my fate and who can tell when I'm truely sad when I act cheerful.
And for that and other reasons unreveiled to me, I've restrained myself from putting an end to my misery and just letting go.
As I sit and write this, my mind is wandering undiscovered roads, while my soul and flesh ache with so much unreleased emotions that have formed from close friends and family memebers.
From the words of an unloving mother, to the unspoken disappointment and anger of an honored father.
To the unseen anger towards the tinyest annoyance of a friend.
And finally to the still healing heart from an ended relationship of over a year with its first love, that yurns to feel the beating warmth of anothers love at its side.
Many things said and unsaid...
And yet...Is all of this heartache worth living for?
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