Thursday, August 5, 2010

Gonna make it quick

Good Morning, Afternoon or Evening everyone! How are you today? Well, I can say now that Faroe is finally back to normal again.I had a little trouble the past few days and well, I am feeling so much better. I'm back in remission from my flare up and I'm not sick anymore. Israel is being his sweet self again and my friends, I hope, are all doing wonderful! Yesterday I worked from five to nine at night so I didn't have time to check out the MyOtaku last night. I'm sorry. Today I will comment and read posts. Not much really went on yesterday. I bought some school supplies for really cheap at Wal-Mart and then I got my discount! BOO-YA!!! I love discounts. But anyways, i think I am going to make this a short posts today. I'm sleepy and well, I took my medicine so I'm gonna go and play my Final Fantasy game and chill before work today. I work until 11:00 p.m. tonight so blah!!! But tomorrow is my day off! *Dances in Circles* Have a great day everyone!!! And I still miss you CrystalFlute! Isn't Chii adorable!?!?!?

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What goes up.... Must come down

Well, now that all the bad stuff is over with I can finally calm it down. I would like to apologize for the sad posts lately. Israel and I are back on track again. He apparently was in a bad mood because him and his best friend got into an argument and I think maybe he was just picking on me that day. We are both over it now and he asked if we could just putt hat behind me and him. Thank goodness. I would also like to really thank GM for helping me and giving me lots of advice. It really means a lot to me. Thank you. And thanks to all of my other wonderful friends who put their advice in as well. You guys are the best. So, I have gotten hooked into a little DS game. I have had it for a while but I finally started to play it. lol Has anyone done that before? It's that game Final Fantasy Revenant Wings. I really like that little game. I am a huge Final Fantasy fan. But I haven't yet been able to obtain the Final Fantasy 7 game with Cloud. OH I WANT THAT GAME SO BAD!!! loll But one day I will play it. I have no doubts. Today will be a short post. I work until 11:00 p.m. tonight so i go into work at 3:30 p.m. I'm not so excited to work but hey! It's money. And something to do. I am so happy that it is August now. School starts on the 30th and I really cannot wait. Next Wednesday I'm going by the new campus to locate all my classes just so I don't look like I'm lost there. So, how are you all my friends? Good I hope. Please make sure that you are keeping yourselves taken care of and safe. Oh and A13, what is your e-mail? I heard that you wanted to have the Trigun thingy too! I will e-mail you the prize too If you want it! lol Like so many people say "Sharing is Caring!" Take care my friends and I will post back soon. If I can't comment on posts today it's because when I get home from work tonight, I am going right to bed. lol

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   Why don't you just sit and listen for once

(If you haven't read yesterday's post please read in order to understand what's happening in the post. Thank you). Today started off good. Well, it was great actually. Last night I called Israel around ten and he didn't answer. He calls back three minutes later because I don't leave a message or text him or call back again. (I knew that would get his attention somehow) Once I answer he asks me a question. " Do you really want to be with me?" I say yes and he says "Why the Hell would you even mute your phone?" Honestly, I really don't know what his problem is. I understand now he has trust issue but I don't know why he does with me. I have never lied to him ever and he knows that. He apparently doesn't understand why I would mute the phone if I wasn't doing anything so important.... So we talked and he said he loves me and he doesn't want to break up. But he said the me and him are totally two different people and he knows that the way each of us think really don't match up the same. But He says he doesn't care and he loves me anyway. This morning we talked on the phone for a few hours. I still don't know what is wrong with Israel. Maybe it's distance? I do have to answer a few questions as to why Israel may have trust issues with me. Many people (who I don't even know) tell him how I am going to cheat on him every chance i can get. they say I am a whore, a cheater, player, bitch, rotten liar, whatever you can guess. It all stems back to a rumor that started with an ex boyfriend of mine when I was 15 years old. I didn't want to be with him anymore because he was treating me bad and I was uninterested. this ex of mine was mad because he didn't have me anymore and so he called me a whore and told everyone at school I cheated when I never did. I was unable to control this rumor but ever since his friends and their friends and their friends friends have spread this. With the help of my mother too I am known as a whore of Tampa. This is where it stems all out too. I have finally gotten rid of my self-esteem issues once I got out of high school but the only problem is when I got to college all those bad people and my ex went to the same campus!!! So I moved away again. This time, no one knows me. Israel has always backed me up because he knows what truly happened but sometimes when people and so many of them constantly try to convince you of something, it may sink in. I hope that doesn't happen with Israel. HE is so invincible and so strong. And hard headed and stubborn and sometimes very rude and blunt but I love him so much and he always stayed on my side. He tells people that I am a saint and they don't know how great I really am. Even though I really don't think I am as great as he believes it still makes me happy to know he says it. Thank you so much for your comments yesterday. Angel Zakuro: Thank you for the wonderful compliment. You are so very sweet and I'm sure you are wonderfully beautiful. I will probably talk to him about it when he is here in person. He can always hang up on me if we fight on the phone. And I will be sad if he does that to me. A13:Thank you for your long comment. I understand where you are coming from with the cheating idea. He wouldn't cheat I know this. Israel has always been honest and he has this thing where little things make him feel as if someone is disrespecting him. Usually he would stop talking to people cause of things that they do to annoy him but me and Israel have a different kind of relationship. We always talked and he really wants me with him in his life. I don't know if this will be a forever thing with him but maybe if he understands that I am not trying to disrespect him and that I love him he will stop this behavior. I am glad your leg is doing better. Just keep it clean and wrapped up to heal. Please check on it as much as possible. i loved the duckies!!! I have two duck pets here at my home. They are ind of mean but I love them. Sort of. lol They are better as babies I can tell you that. I love the white tiger. It is my absolute favorite animal there. And thank you for the compliments. As I told Angel I bet you are very very pretty too. ^_^ I would love to see what you guys look like! Your name is pretty too. It's a cute name. Most people call ,e Britney Spears and I always hated that. even when I was a child. I never like Spears whatsoever. Her music sucked! Thank you for your kind words my friends. For those who haven't posted yesterday please tell me what do you think I should do about this thing with Israel... I need as much advice from great people as I can get. You my friends are like wise wise wise people. Seriously how did you all get so smart???? I must have missed that class in high school. lol So, today, I went to the Laundro-mat again. Very peaceful. I love it there. It's like the highlight of my week just going there to be with myself and wonderful flowery smells. I get to think and sit and just relax. Anywhere is better than being at home I get so sick and tired of being around my mom. She makes me feel so low and worthless. It's like living with those high schoolers that spread filth about me. I am starting to really dislike my mother. She has always made me feel small but now, she uses this against me too. THe other night she said to me that all those kids who talk about me are right. I am a whore. My mother gets mad at me because it's hard for me to stay in long term relationships. It's not always my fault thought. Sometimes they break up with me, or I just can't be with them anymore. I casually dated some people because my mother said it would be better and she got mad because a lot of people wanted to go out on dates with me. She hit me once and told me it wasn't fair that so many guys wanted to be with me. I wish they didn't either.... Because then, I wouldn't be known as a whore!!!! It makes me so mad!! SO mad that once I tried to make myself look ugly but it didn't work. I missed and I wasn't able to work up courage again to do it. But anyways, I just sound like a pity party all over and I don't want to be that. Here is one of the e-cards that I made the other day. It's about love because I was in that lovey mood. Sorry for the long post today. It's not a very happy one but I hope you understand how I feel.... so worthless to so many people. My friends you make me feel so good about myself. You are angels sent from above! No wonder why this place is so small now. Only the greatest people made it through the thick and thin. You are all in my prayers every night just so you know. Please take care my friends and have a wonderful day.

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   Why are you doing this???

Oh my goodness. So Israel is mad at me AGAIN. Today I was at work and I called him on my lunch. All was going fine until I told him to hold on for a moment while I help someone get out a door. I put the phone on mute (because I was going to shove it in my purse and I didn't want there to be a bad noise for him to hear) and he hangs up. I call him back when I'm done not even two minutes later and he gets mad at me cause I put him on mute. He thinks I lied to him so I could talk to someone for a minute. And now he wont return my texts or anything.... What is his deal? I told him I didn't mean to offend him and I wouldn't do that again. He said and I quote "you don't know what fucking offends me Brittany". (yes that's my real name). Whenever someone uses the F-word to me, I want to cry so bad. He then hung up after saying good-bye. and then yeah.... I finished work contemplating on what I should do about this problem. What is wrong with Israel? I have never known him to be like this and ever since we started dating he gets on me for things. I don't even know why. He sends me things and he says he loves me but.... why does he do this? Will he always be like this? I'm afraid to speak up sometimes in fear he may get mad at how I feel about the way he's been acting and leave. Oh I hate this feeling.... But let's push away from that. I don't want to think about that right now. He gets off of work at nine. Maybe he will text? Anyway, today work was dull but I met a few new cashiers and they are so nice. I hope we can be good work buddies! lol I talked with an older cashier named Laura and she told me such a sad story about how her husband died in a car accident. He was drunk and it was his birthday and they were both fighting. He never came home that night and found out about the accident and he was DOA at the hospital... I couldn't stop thinking about Israel. I wanted to not be angry with him and I wanted him to not be mad at me. I hate leaving on bad terms. What if he got into an accident??? He is so far away from me how could I get to him. I was about to cry and she was like "Stop looking like that! You look so sad!" I just couldn't help it.... Okay, so, now is the time I reply back to some of you all. GM, I will go check out your wallpaper as soon as I can. I know I will like it too!!! And Angel, Israel is my boyfriend... I just hope he stops acting like a jerk. A13 I do hope your leg gets better soon. Shadowme I hope you feel better too! And CrystalFlute WHERE ARE YOU!!!! Oh I finally have some pictures to show you of my awesomely splendid time at Bush Gardens. I have a few pictures but I hope you like them! Okay so that's the end of the pictures. I had more but it's taking to long to load. A storm is on it's way to night. Thank goodness. Maybe my house will cool down tonight. Take care everyone. I hope you all are doing well and loving life. I will post again soon.!!!

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   And to all a good night

So this is going to be a short post. It's 10:20 p.m. over here and I have to go to work in the morning kind of early and I want to talk to Israel for a few before I go to dream land. I hope your days were lovely today. I made sure to come by and read your posts. Sounds like life is good. Besides some minor back ups. lol I worked today and for some reason it was so hot in Wal-Mart. I was seriously uncomfortable. I hope it's not like that tomorrow. I'm gonna shoot an angry customer if it's not! Just kidding. lol but anyway, tomorrow I work the same hours. Blah but hey! Monday is my day off. YAY! *dances in circles* Life is good. Only 18 more days until Israel comes back to Florida for ever! I'm so excited. And then, school starts the 3oth of August. I really cannot wait for the fall. It's gonna be awesome!!! I can't wait for Halloween. I want to share the holidays with you all! lol I'll be posting pictures galore! Come to think I need to put the Bush Gardens pics up. Soon soon. Just remind me. I made two new e-cards on TheOtaku. Check them out if you like? I want to make more. Any suggestions? I still go to TheOtaku sometimes but not so often. I'm an Otaku Guardian so I can't leave this place ever. I love you all too much! Well, I'm gonna head out for the night. Thank you for all your wonderful comments. Sleep well all! And know that life is good. ^__^ P.S. CrystalFlute we are all still thinking of you!

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My heart is still here

Okay!!! OS Israel was just having a bad day I suppose because the nest day he said he didn't even know why I was worried. He told me he loves me and that pretty soon we will be together. We talked about the who "I wont want to see him or spend time with him when I get the chance" crap. He thinks I'm gonna wanna hang out with my guy friends without him ( That would hurt his feelings) or my girlfriends and flirt with other guys!!!! I would never do that. I wouldn't want him hanging out by himself with his lady friends. I would get so jealous because I know what most girls want (and what most boys want) so I would never do that to him. I think i relieved him a lot. He tells me how much he wants to hold me and last night he said he can't wait for the day he can say we are more than boyfriend and girlfriend. He said he wants to call me his wife!!!! Now,normally, I would be freaked and want to leave him because I have this fear of commitment but with Israel.... Oh my goodness I couldn't live without him! I want to marry him so bad. I want to be his wife!!! But... Am I just being stupid? I'm only 19 years old. Should I be feeling this way already? Whenever I get close to a boy, my mother tells me it's wrong to even try to feel that way at such a young age. I have felt this way towards one other person but he lied to me.... Israel I trust with all of my heart so I just feel this way with him. My mother makes fun of me because I care for Israel. She also makes fun of what he looks like. He isn't the most fit and yes he is very big. He may not be lean and graceful or the pretty boy but he has a great heart and a wonderful personality (although it can be crude) and that is what I see from him. I always have. I just wish my mother would stop putting him down. Every time she does, my heart hurts for him. I really love him. He will be here on the 17th of August. I'm counting down the days.... lol I'm such a weird-o Now, I would like to thank you for those who commented on my post yesterday. You guys made me feel so much better and helped ease my worried mind. Your advice was great and it helped me out a lot. It is truly appreciated. ^___^ Thank you all! you guys are like super heroes! Seriously! I love you guys. So today I went to work at 6:30 a.m. I am kind of tired but it's okay. I realized I put in 40 hours of work the other week. (not may vacation) so yeah this is going to be a good paycheck! Work was pretty boring. I just rang up customers all day long and then went home at three. Then I talked to my wonderful Israel who has to be at work today at 6:00 p.m. I wont hear from him until midnight and now I am on here!!!! I'll be sure to comment soon on those who have updated today. It seems like it's a no post day today. But oh well, I will still visit. I hope tomorrow wont be too boring at work. I work like 10:30 a.m. to 7:30 p.m. tomorrow. Blah! But it's way better than getting up at five in the morning. I really hate that. So, other than that, I don't really have much to say. I hope your day is well, or your night is well wherever you may be. lol I hope grandparents are well, aunts are moving into a great life and home, no one's working themselves to the bitter end with work/volunteering, I hope no one has fought with their parents, I pray that anyone who is sick be healthy again and I just hope that everyone is living life happily right now. Please take care my friends.

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Why?

Today is really bad... Well, actually yesterday is bad. For some reason Israel is acting really mean to me. He got upset with me last night for no reason and then he just hangs up and doesn't call me back to say good night or anything. Then he text's me "Goodnight my love. I lost my phone for a bit" at midnight so then I call him and he acts like everything is ok and happy and he tells me that he wants me and loves me. Once we get off the phone he texts me "I want you here with me...." I reply with something like I want to be with you two. We will be together soon." He starts talking about how I won't spend all my time with him and that he doesn't see me wanting to spend time with him at all when honestly I want to spend every second with him. And then he says how me and him don't think the same.... I asked him if he felt like that would cause problems and I haven't heard from him since. It's already nine and I know he is awake because he has work at ten.... I am really sad right now and I haven't slept but only a few hours all night. I finally went to be around 3 a.m. and I woke up around seven. I called him twice already and no answer. I texted him and he wont text back. Now I guess I should leave him alone. This is really confusing and hurting me so bad.... I don't understand why he is acting like this. I'm sorry to stress you out with my boyfriend dilemma but seriously this is hurting me. I don't like this feeling at all and it's driving me crazy. I really hope he calls, texts, messages me or something! Anyways, how are you this morning? I know you guys are doing better then me this morning. Full-nights rest, no drama, air conditioned houses. lol ect. ect. Today I'm just going to relax and pray that things are okay with me and Israel. Gonna read some posts and comment, clean the house, take care of the dogs and go to bed early because I work at 6:30 a.m. tomorrow. I have to put in a change of hours now that school is starting in almost three weeks. I can't wait. Once I have school back, I will be able to keep my mind focused on more important things. I love school and it helps me keep all the bad drama away. I wouldn't know what to do without school or studies. It's like my second love (next to me dear Israel). Thanks for those who commented yesterday. I noticed people have been super busy lately. I kind of can't wait until I can be busy again too with work and school. I really can't wait for August to start. Once that month hits, I know Summer will be over soon. I really dislike the Summer time. It makes me aggravated and it's way to hot. I just really hate Summer. I can't wait for the Fall to come... and then Spring! Anyway, sorry for the depressed post. I didn't mean too be so sad.... I hope you all have a great day today! Luv Yas!

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Relaxing day and it's nice... But I miss him

Okay so np dentist today. The offices will be closed for like a week due to remodeling and relocating. So I have to wait for another WEEK until I can get this fixed. Well, I guess not a lot of people were online yesterday. That's okay. I was out all day too and not many people posted yesterday but I see a lot of people posted today. I'll be sure to comment today once I get the chance. So how is everyone today? There isn't much to say about today yet because it is still the morning. I washed my doggies and cleaned up the floors a little bit. Today will be a relaxing day again. I don't go back to work until Friday so I still have tomorrow to rest. Then back to work. I guess that is okay. Then once I'm working time will go by so much faster and then My Israel will be back here in Florida!!! I really really really really cannot wait!!!! Last night we talked about everything. He says he loves me and wants to start our life together. We texted each other night and I just miss him so much. I want to be with him so bad.... I love him. Butm away from that subject, I'm moving away from here soon and I'm gonna start my fall classes soon. I have to make sure my work knows I need to go back to part time. I'm taking five classes already and I need to make sure I have time to do my classwork and homework. Today I'm going to make this short. I may just stop by again tonight and see if anyone updated. Oh hey, has anyone noticed that the MyOtaku is kind of up beat again? It's actually really nice to see more people here again. lol I feel like it's 2004-2007 again! lol It makes me happy and very thankful that I got to make wonderful new friends again. You guys really are the best! *HUGGLES* Well, I'm gonna go for now. I hope to hear from you later! Thanks for all your wonderful comments and your time. It really s appreciated.

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A great day and no one will take that from me!

Hey all! How is everyone today? I've been very well and in fact, I am doing so great!!!! I got to go to Bush Gardens today with my sister and my little brother (we have two year passes because we live so close to the park) and my mother didn't go with is! I felt so happy because i actually got to have fun and enjoy myself and not be tied down with a miserable person. I took pictures and rode rides, I talked with my sister and brother, I got to see things I never seen before, I just had so much friggin' fun!!!! I was gone all day so I was unable to post earlier but I'm here now. lol So CrystalFlute, why are you not gonna post for a while? I really don't want you to go back into that shy shell. I'll grab my hammer and take it off! lol just kidding. *huggles back* I just want you to be happy and free here... that's all... I was worried that you were going to leave us. I just know that you are a great friend and I don't want to lose one on here. All my friends here are amazing and we are a family! lol I really hope that your grandmother will get better, I will keep you and her in my prayers. Oh and don't thank me for being a good friend. I want to be a good friend and I don't need any thanks because it's such a pleasure to do so! lol Please take care To X Shadowme X, I'm sorry about your bad news. Some people can be really sneaky. Wolves in sheep's clothing is what describes them best. Sometimes in life, people we meet may not be so great even if they make themselves look great. People who really wish you well are few and far apart. Just keep the real friends close and love them. Okay, so today I was thinking about how great it would be if I had teleporting powers. I think it would be the best! I could go anywhere I please in the blink of an eye. I could visit my friends, see my boyfriend, rob a bank, see great historical sites all in the blink of an eye. How amazing..... lol but hey, I gotta do things the hard way now. SO there is a quote that I really love. It goes: A relationship built without friendship is like a mansion built upon sand. Isn't that so true? I can really say that people who are not friends at first and want to be closer will fall apart before the good stuff really happens. Many people are talking about how they don't like to handle relationships but I say if you start off as friends then the hard stuff in a relationship wont be anything to tough. Just take that advice and maybe being in a relationship wont be so hard. All in all just love yourselves and good things will happen. It works! I'm so sleepy today. I bet it's because I had a long day at Bush Gardens. I also got a lot of sun too. I'm a little red but I tan the next day so it's good! I get really tan when I spend the day out in the sun. I'll post some pictures tomorrow if you guys want? lol Anyway, I'll best be off now. Gonna go to the dentist tomorrow so I can get rid of this cavity. See you all later!!! Luv Yas!!!

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Let the meek be heard!!!!!!

So, I feel like this is goiing to be an urgent post to bring my friend CrystalFlute back to the MyOtaku.She is very upset and I realy don't know the whole story to it but I really miss her and I care about how she is feeling. She feels like she can't be herself on here because she feels as if she is upsetting people. I want her to know that YOU CAN BE YOURSELF CRYSTALFLUTE!!!!! We really care about you and I consider us a family. lol (I know maybe I'm a little lame but hey!) I really feel like I'm going to lose a great friend and I really don't want that. I really hope she understands that no matter what you will be loved here!!!! That is a card that I made a long time ago when the MyOtaku was hoppin. lol I found all my cards on theotaku so, here you guys go!! See this is a message that I want EVERYONE to hear. Everyone on the MyOtaku is an awesome friend. Sometimes our feelings get the best of us but that does not mean we can ridicule them for that or make them feel like that are looking for attention. Please don't leave us CrystalFlute. You are amazing, sweet and pretty and You are such a good friend!!!!! I want to thank you guys for commenting yesterday. It meant a lot. And thank you for keeping my hopes up with Israel. HE told me that we are going to run away together and start our life together. I can't wait. He says once he is enlisted into the Marines, me and him are going to get married so I will be able to always see him and be with him. I love him so much and I can't wait until he comes back here to Florida. Today, I'm probably not going to do much. I have a toothache and my mother hasn't given up her silence on me. (she hasn't said one word to me in two days) So she wont take me to the dentist. This really sucks. Israel says when he gets back he will take me there. Thank goodness for that! I'm probably going to just read some of your posts and comment and then play Oblivion (I love that game soooo much!) And then read my book The Witches of Eastwick And yeah that will be my day. I am still on vacation from work and yes I am enjoying it because I can sleep in and talk to Israel at night and catch up on all that lost sleep that I have obtained. So how are all of you today? Good I hope. If not, shout it out here on my comments. I like it when people vent and let out all their steam. lol It always helps me. My doctor told me that if I hold in my feelings then I will make my disease worse. So, If anyone needs to vent or rant or rave or yell or cry or be happy I am always open for discussion!!! You guys are the absolute best And I love you! lol Anyway, I'll be on my way now. My mom is home and I'm going to clean the house a little bit. o one really does that a lot around here. I hate having a dirty home. It *shivers* bothers me. However, my room can get a little disorganized at times but hey, no one is perfect. lol I will talk to everyone later so I hope to see you around. Oh and CrystalFlute, please know that you are wanted here and don't worry about the people who can't handle your feelings. Don't ever tone yourself down to make others happy. I care about you so remember, Just let out those feelings. That is what your friends here are for.

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