Sunday, July 25, 2010

And again and again and again

Good Afternoon my friends? How are you? I decided to go and comment and visit your sites first so I can have time to read everyone's fairly. I'm glad I got to meet a new member of the MyOtaku. Her name is EvileMonkey. lol I believe her and GoodMonkey are good friends? But anyway, I woke up today to realize that everyone in my house left super early to go somewhere. No not or anything. It's times like these where I wish I had a car and I would pack my things up and move away without them seeing. I was really sad actually because no one told me they were leaving. My sister doesn't talk to me anymore and my mom doesn't say anything to me at all. Not even hello. I haven't called them yet because I will feel very dumb if I do so... I guess I should just enjoy this time alone? I called Israel today to talk with him and he made me feel happy. We talked until he had to go to work. I miss him so much! But he will be back in mid August and I am so excited!!! He says that we are going to be together forever and I really actually want that. Normally when a man tells me that I get scared and want to leave but with him.... it's so different and I love it!!! It makes me happy inside however I do get a little scared because what if he ends up not liking me? I have known him since I was 16 and I have told him so much about myself already.... maybe I'm just worrying way to much. So, GoodMonkey? How in the world did you get to change your theme??? I can't change mine at all and it's bugging me so much!!! Tell me your secrets pleeeaaaassseeeee???? Thanks so much GoodMonkey for calling me a good friend. And Deadly Neko? Of course if I need to talk more about things I will come to you and all my friends. You guys are like my cyber family now. You guys show me more concern than my real family does. X Shadowme X I know it is a pretty hard decision to make but sometimes I feel like if I left, maybe my family will like me more... It's like flipping a coin. There is always a chance it wont land your way.... But that is what life is about isn't it? Taking risks and living?? Anyway I gotta go now. I will talk to you al later!!!

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Don't bother none

Hello everyone! How are you? Sorry about yesterday… I wasn’t able to really comment on your sites yesterday because my mom wanted me off the computer and well, she started to throw a fit so I was unable to really do anything at all online. Today, I will do my best to try and comment. I’m so busy trying to stay away from my mom because whenever she sees me on my laptop or cell phone, she says I’m acting immature. Honestly, I have nothing to do at home. I work all day and I would like to be able to do something. I like to spend some time online with friends because that’s the only way I can talk to them or hang out with you guys. She never lets me go out to hang with them so this is how I keep my social life. Online. Thanks mother. So, yesterday when Israel called me, I just burst into tears because I felt so sad and I know he will sit and listen to me. Hearing his voice comforts me and hearing him tell me how he will be back in August really makes me feel happy again because my family doesn’t really like me as a person. My mother wants me to do everything for her while my little brother doesn’t want to be near the family and my sister doesn’t act like my sister anymore…. Once Israel gets here I will be able to feel like I’m really apart of someone’s life. I think that’s a human need isn’t it? To be wanted and needed? My mom tells me how I am not needed in the family and how everyone wants me gone…. But she won’t let me leave. I want to so bad but she won’t let me save up and she takes every penny I earn. What am I to do? Israel wants me to move in with him but I’m a little afraid too. What if I annoy him and he hates me? Or what if something happens and he goes away to boot camp and I’m all alone. However, my mind is set on taking the chance with Israel but the catch is: if I leave home with or without Israel, I will burn the bridge with my family. I feel like I’m stuck in a prison with a way out but way to afraid to take that chance to run because I’m fearing so much I’ll be shot down and brought back to the cell again and be laughed at. I want to live so bad!!! But I am afraid I won’t know how to once I get out there. Everyone says it’s tough but how can it be tougher than living with a woman who calls you a cunt whore bitch all the time. Someone who makes you act like a five year old because I still live under her roof yet I pay all the bills? If living on my own means I pay bills and I starve occasionally then I will take it. At least I will keep my sanity. I don’t care if my mother is sick. No one treats anyone this way. Anyway, I’m going to get going now so I can read your posts. Today I worked early and got out in the afternoon. I’m gonna take a rest and start my vacation. I hope to hear from you all soon. You guys are the best! That's for all my friends!!! You guys really mean a lot to me. thank you P.S. CrystalFlute!!! Why is your site turned off???

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Happiness was just a word to me.....

Hello everyone!!! How are you all today? Good I hope. I'm glad to hear that yesterday you all were doing quite well. I'm doing so-so today. For some reason I have this bad feeling inside me. It's really sad and anxious and it hurts. I don't fully understand it but I feel like something somewhere is wrong. Like something bad is happening right before me and I am not even noticing it. Have you ever felt that way? I feel like if something is happening there is NOTHING I can do to stop it.... Why am I feeling this way? To be honest, I feel like crap.... total crap but i don't want to bore you on that at all so I will talk about my day at work. Work started early: around nine thirty in the morning and well, it was okay. I got a really late lunch so when I got back from work, I didn't have to stay for too long after that so it was an easy day. Tomorrow I work really early around six in the morning so I will be at work for most of the morning. Well all of it to be exact. I don't mind it though because I get to leave wal-mart early and start my one week vacation!!!! Wooo! I'm gonna go to dentist to get my teeth checked because I have like a horrible tooth ache on my upper right molar. I don't really know why. I always brush my teeth like three or four times a day but hey, I guess slip ups can occur. So I got a lovely compliment on my eyes today. This older man came over to my register to get his items checked out and the first thing he said was, I really love your eyes. they are so beautiful and the shape is unique. When I smile, My eyes go up in some anime form. My friends back in high school said they were my Asian eyes. I said thank you because I didn't know what else to say. HE made my day brighter. It made me happy because today was stuck in the cashier's hypnosis listening to the beeps of every item just thinking about how crappy I feel. So yeah he was so nice. I made someone's day brighter by carding them for alcohol when I clearly knew this lady was in her thirties. lol She looked happy that she was getting carded. I love doing that to people. I don't really know what else to say, except thank you guys so much for being so sweet, nice, caring, understanding, fun and so completelyawesome. Seriously. You all deserve like some kind of award!!!!!

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Thank goodness today is my day off. It wasn't a very lazy day but it's okay. Today I was able to get eight loads of laundry done all by myself. I ave to go to the laundromat to do so but I actually like going there. I don't get distracted and I get to sit and think and watch the clothes go round n' round. It's peaceful especially while I am by myself. I really like it. Other than the laundry getting done, I went to the bank to get money from my paycheck out of the ATM and went grocery shopping at Wal-Mart (I just couldn't stay away) and went to the Dollar General to get cleaning supplies. As for now, I am home and ready to have some of that sweet R&R like I was promised. Then around six or seven I am going to make some chili for dinner. And then that will complete my day. I'll wait up for my boyfriend around midnight once he gets off work so he can call and say goodnight to me. lol I guess that's weird to do but I love to hear his voice before I pass out and enter the dream world. My dreams can be really weird. Buuuut, I'm not gonna go there because that's a topic for another post of it's own. I want to post a picture of my sweet and wonderful boyfriend here so no one will have to imagine what he looks like. Tell me girls what do you think? Ugly or cute? Either way it wouldn't matter cause I still love him. lol That's the only picture I can seem to find of him. He hates taking pictures of himself but I think this one is good. But yup!! That's my Israel!!! So does anyone feel like the MyOtaku is like China? Closed off from outsiders and restricted to a lot of things that can change your identity? lol I feel like we are like China. Or like the Ancient Jews. A small group of chosen ones who wont let anyone new into the small community. lol I kinda feel like that's what the MyOtaku has become. Oh well, either way I'm really happy that I made new friends on here. You guys are really awesome. I feel like I can be myself here without being judged or made fun of. I really feel comfortable here. So, how are you guys today? Doing good? Well, I really hope so. I don't want any depressed, sad, angry, hurting friends right now. If you guys are feeling lost and don't know what to do then here!!! I will give you a guardian angel to watch over you. I bought her since she was apparently on sale so now I'm giving her to you. Even if you aren't in turmoil right now, you can have her to keep her safe. lol Okay, I'm gonna head out for now. I'll stop by some sites later if I haven't already. I'll see you guys later. Luv Yas!

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Okay so today is going to bring??? what?

Okay so today I get to relax and just stay inside until I go to work at five tonight. It's just a short shift so I will be home around nine thirty tonight. I really cannot wait for my vacation time this Sunday. I have a weeks paid vacation and I'm soooo anticipating that. Today I am really missing college. I hate taking the Summers off but my pell grant doesn't pay for college classes so I guess working isn't so bad anyway. But once August hits, my classes will start and I will be a full time student again! *dances in circles* Oh yeah!!! I'm excited. To be honest I really feel totally lost without school. Thank goodness I'm working for my Ph.D!!! I'm gonna be in school for a while now. I so want to be a doctor in microbiology. So, I noticed that some people are upset because they don't have a relationship with anyone at the moment. I would like to say, let's just take it easy? DarkWolf Ummm, you kind of hurt my feelings on your post because you misunderstood what I was saying about myself but hey it's okay. I have tough skin. (sometimes). Let's try to move on to another subject like What kind of career do you want in the future???? That would be a neat topic huh??? But let's not fool ourselves, if being lonely is really getting to us if you join plentyoffish.com. Maybe they can help? lol I'm just joking. That place is so bogus and full of weirdos. Don't go there, Unless you dare! Anyway, I would really like to thank you guys for visiting my site. I noticed however that some people are getting left in the dark!!! My friend Littleinugirl and Deadly Neko Don't get too many visits these days. Please give them a visit when you get the chance too! They are sweetie pies just like CrystalFlute and GoodMonkey. And I wont forget you either DarkWolfDemon even though you hurt my feelings..... but hey!!! It's okay. We are all still friends. Anyway, I'm heading out now. Gonna check out some things and set up traps. People come out to my house late at night and try to steal things. It's getting ridiculous and tonight I'm going to stay out and patrol the house. And probably call the police. Okay everyone! Until next time! I hope you are all having a great day and loving life. If it's the opposite, I really pray that things get better for you. Hope that cheers you up! I know it made me laugh.

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And again I will try

Hello everyone!!! Hope you guys are doing fine! *HUGGLES EVERYONE* Okay So I am trying to put pictures of myself up on here but I don't know what the heck is up with the MyOtaku. I think it's prejudice of Faroe!!!! I can't do anything on here! And yeah, I'm glad my profile isn't stuck on like some Christmas theme or seasonal thing. lol I would be so annoyed at it. But hey Christmas in July would be a good excuse. Am I right??? lol So, herte goes with the pictures again. Me as os now being 19 years old Okay and this is me at the age of 13 turning 14 This better work or I'm gonna be sooooo mad!!! Your gonna see a volcano explode here in Florida. lol But yeah, let me tell you about my day. So, I was called in today to work at eleven and when I got to work at ten thirty, they wanted me to clock in because the CEO was coming to our store and so, they wanted all the good cashiers up at the front!!! I took my day off to work. I was kinda mad but oh well. All my managers were thanking me for working. i got to leave before 4:30 pm because the register locked me out. When a cashier spends top much time on a register it locks them out. Thats why when they say they have to go home and they are closed it's because the machine will lock them out and the customer will be screwed. lol Then they will blame the poor cashier. However, I know there are some pretty ride cashiers out their in the Wal-Mart world. That's why I was put in front as the good example with the other few good cashiers and the other bad ones in the back. lol So,I'm gonna get going tonight. I will write later! I'm gonna head to bed soon. I gotta work tomorrow. AGAIN!!!! Ahhh I'm over worked and I have a cold. But hey! My one week vacation is coming up soon and it's PAID!!!! WOOOHOOO! Hope you guys are having a wonderful night! LUV YAS!

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Time for sleep!

Hey there everyone! Hows it going? I hope everyone had a good day and not full of bad stuff. If you did have a bad day then.... *HUGGLES* Please feel better soon! If you ad a good day then YAY!!! *Dances in circles* I'm happy for you! So, is it just me or does the MyOtaku not let you change your profile? I kind of wanted to change my theme but no matter what I do it will not let me change it. It makes me sad because I wanted to change the dark and gloomy theme of it but I guess that's just how it's going to be from now on. Gloomy Chi. My day today was full of work and today I finally realized why they wanted me to work tomorrow. The CEO is coming for a visit to my Wal-Mart and they wanted all the good cashiers to be there so they can look good. It figures that on my day off they want me to be in there though. Well, I will be a good employee and hsow my best Wal-Mart smile! "IT"S ROLLBACK TIME"!!! So yesterday I said I was going to post a picture of me now and a picture of me in the past when I first joined MyOtaku. So, here goes! That is me currently at the age of 19. And this is me at 13. I look kind of the same but I can see the differences. What is your thoughts? Okay everyone, I'm out of here for now. I'll check back with you all later! Thanks for stopping bye!

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It's been a long long day

Hello everyone! How are you today? I'm doing well but I am extremely exhausted. You see i was up since five o'clock this morning because I had to be at work today at six and well, Tomorrow I work again from nine to six so, yeah, another long long day!!! And then my manager just asked me if I can work on my day off. Me, being the nice girl that I am said "okay I can do that" and then I realized I will be working seven days in a row by my next day off!!!! GRRRRR!!!! At least I will have a fat paycheck and get overtime. lol my boss is really gonna hate me then. I'm just joking! I want them to love me. I like working at Wal-Mart but hopefully one day I will start work at the hospital once I train in a lab. anyways, how are you all? I noticed that everyone seems to be having problems. i think July just isn't our month. I vote on that. May August become a better month! I think July is one long ass month though. I wish it were august because my boyfriend finally returns home from North Carolina. He moved away up there but now he is back!!! Well, not yet at least. In August he will be. So, I decided that the next time I post, I'm going to put a picture of me from when I fist used the MyOtaku till now as a grown woman. Well, not grown just yet. lol I'm only 19 but compared to being 13 it is!!! Well, I hope to hear from you all soon! I will write back soon and thanks so much for the comments!

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Soooo happy to see you!!

Wow!!! I was so excited to actually see that people commented! It was shocking because I am so used to seeing 0 for t he number of comments. But anyways, how is everyone? I'm doing well. Got to get out of work early today and that is always good. Probably going to cook dinner tonight and fight with the mother. lol I'm still looking on moving out with my boyfriend when he gets here. I miss him a lot. Today is going to be a short post but I will make sure to stop by your pages and see if you updated. I will post another time! See you all laterz!

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I just can't stay away

So, before I begin my long post, I hope that you understand that I miss it here very much so. I want to have what I used to have here before but I know that will never happen. However, I would love to have a few friends from here and talk and share feelings like I used too. It would be so amazing. So, If you know me from a long time ago, you would know that the MyOtaku was like my diary, my best friend, my interest and well, kind of my life. But that sounds so lame. It was so great to me because I was home schooled and I never had any "real" friends so I made friends here and spent most of my time here. I don't plan on doing that again but I would love to write here again and talk to new people. I started this account many years ago. I believe I was twelve turning thirteen and I was so new to this HTML thing and well, with the help of many friends here I learned how to make really fun posts and I think I wrote a lot. I also really do love to comment and read other people's posts too. Sometimes it makes me upset when I have friends who don't really want to talk to me on here but it's okay. I wont let it bother me to much. I just hope the new friends I make here or reconnect with, really would like to share their thoughts with me and I would with them. About me now, Well, I am nineteen years old, I graduated from high school and I am now in community college. It's nice now, but I still have problems at home. me and my mother do not work out very well and I am going to move out of my home with my boyfriend. I hope to goodness that works out too..... But life is very good and I love it!!!! I'm probably going to change the theme of my site soon however, I will not change the Chii/Chobits theme. I have had this since I first started and well, I think it's sort of apart of me. I hope to talk to some new friends later. Bye bye!

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