So strong now ladies and gents (just in case some of you stopped by). Well, I am over Israel from now on. To be honest, I don't know who the hell would be with that man ever in a million years..... Well, actually, a weak woman would have been.
So, it's only be two weeks since me and Israel have ended it and it feels like a whole year! The only thing I have a problem with is my friend Alyssa.
Now, first of all, you all know what Israel has done to me and how he has hurt me over and over again right? Well Alyssa knows too. She saw it first hand. Now, when we broke up and I told her how serious it was and that he has blocked all contact with me she was there for me. So I asked her to delete him off her facebook and told her how I felt about it. She said she will delete him. Now she has been on facebook for a while now and never deleted him and I asked her again a few days ago. She said shes been busy but how hard iis it to click an X by someone's name? Knowing that I really feel hurt by this? She said she hated him and she can't stand what he's done to me.
Now, I ask her today about Israel and asked her why she hasn't deleted him. She said that she was not going to delete him. And I asked her why? She said that it's not a deep friendship and that they are facebook friends and that she isn't going to talk bad about me with him or go out and have drinks with him.
So, that hurt my feelings a lot. Because if it's not deep, then why not delete him. Does she care about how many friends she has on facebook? Does she not care about how I feel? After knowing how much it hurts me? My stomach felt sick and I just wanted to stop being her friend all together. What should I do? I had such a sick feeling inside. Why would she not delete him?
Now, second of all, If anyone on my facebook hasn't noticed, I have a new relationship blooming. and it's beautiful. So wonderful and peaceful. I have rekindled with an old old friend of mine that I knew eleven years ago. He lives in St. Pete (my home town) but at this point, I wouldn't mind a long distance. I have been doing it for a while and to be honest, nothing in my gut or brain is telling me "no" about this man. Me and him used to be best of friends and we had a crush on each other and now he is this good looking smart, open minded, amazing person! We have so much in common and lots that we don't have in common which makes conversations so interesting. I think i am falling for him so bad.... like a love. Buut I don't want to say that yet. Because I don't "really" love him. I just love our connection. I think when we say it for real, it will be the best thing ever.
I've been having phone dates with him every night. They last forever. He tells me how great I am and that I should never let anyone hurt who I am and tear down my open mind. He says that I am his perfect match and he wants this chance with me and he will be with me soon. For now, we are just going to visit back and forth. I trust him. Which is weird. I shouldn't trust anyone at this point. But why do I trust him? Is it because he's nothing like anyone I have ever met. He is so smart!!!!! Gosh! Plus, I can't stop smiling. I see the old me again. I am getting so much better and I am better without Israel.
third, I also got to talk to my sister. It was great! I no longer feel like she hates me anymore.... I am going to go to Florida so I can see her. I just hope she will be able to at the time. I want to spend time with her and hug her again. I love her so much! I just want to take her with me and have her live with me now. I hope one day we can be close again. I pray that we will be......
As for now, I have to work all week. I haven't stopped. All my days off have been work days too. Work called me in. work in bakery, work with Santa, cover someone else's shift, blah. And work has me working on Christmas eve. But it's from 9 to 3 so I can have the night to myself and enjoy Christmas. thank heavens. ^_^
Well, thank you for taking the time to read my post. I hope you all are doing well. It's about time for me and my new man to talk on our phone date. ^_~
Good night my friends!!!! love you!
