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Tuesday, February 28, 2006


4:15 On Tuesday
It's possible to judge what I'm doing as silly, pretentious, totally out of touch, or at best vastly prone to overestimating what people are capable of hearing at once - I'd consider it more as crashing a party, or (quoting Hakuin) dropping a couple of rat turds into a nice hot pot of stew. Challenging, if it is to be genuine, has to toe the line of the respectable (but then again, the contemptible isn't always challenging).

It's possible to judge what I'm doing as a totally arbitrary "interpretation" or (even worse) "opinion" made on something which is apparently ravaged if we do anything beyond "enjoy" it from a distance and preface any remarks we make about it with, "I think that..." - I'd consider it more as going out and wrestling with things, rather than just standing far away and being "affected." I may be more or less accurate in my reading, but the question that is usually forgotten is how it matters.

I'm still not anywhere near the level that I should be in order to talk meaningfully about this stuff, and I'm only just beginning to get some sense of what that calls for. But I want to learn, and the best way I can think of to do that is to try and teach.

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