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myOtaku.com: FczCrZiWyTeShAwTi
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Welcome to my site archives. 10 posts are listed per page.
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Thursday, December 16, 2004
I Feel Disturbed
I mean, doesn't that disturb you?! O.O Eeep! -runs away- lol Ahem, lemme get back on topic...
Heylo! ^-^
I'm baaaaaaaaaaaaack! Yay! I missed you guys! I went a whole...probably what...? One day without posting? Ah well. It's the thought that counts, I suppose...... Yea right, what am I saying?!
Anyway, I hope that I was able to get to everyone's sytes yesterday, and if I wasn't...just slap me upside the head or something, and I'll trot on over there like the idiot I am...^-^ heh.
Anywho...I feel confused and a little lost. I'm not sure why. Maybe it's because my brain is on SUPER OVER LOAD...evil midterms are coming up, if you guys haven't noticed. My first is tomorrow! O.O I'm not SUPER worried, because it's my Debate written exam. I was more worried about my Oral Exam (I took that Tuesday and acted out Psychiatry in a Can w/mah friend Yadi ^-^) because that was a hell of a lot harder and was worth twice as much...and guess what! I got an A+!!! YAY!!! ^__^ -runs around, hugging random people- Yea. So I'm just going to go over the notes that we've taken all year and brief myself over the times that certain things are supposed to be timed and to what purpose and so forth...
And that's the exam for tomorrow. And while that one only has 70 questions on it...
-dun dun dun-
My English Honors has...
-dun dun dun duuuuuun-
178 questions. O.O
-Hyperventilates and starts running around the room, screaming for an illness, or better yet, a semi to run self over with-
Yes. It's going to be EXTREMELY hard. -.-; I've never truly studied for a test before- well, I'm here to tell you that I am now.
Also, another extremely hard test os going to be Algebra 2 Hon. -has a mental breakdown and commences into schitzoness- Ahem. Yes. I'm even more stressed about that one, because Math is FAAAR from my strongest subject. -.-
-sigh- My other classes are going to be difficult too ( Integ Science, French, and A/C Rep)...well, BST won't be. It's just typing and I easily can type at 83 gwam with 3 or less errors. So, that's about the only Stress Free feeling that I'm having right now...-.-
Ah well. On a lighter note, on Saturday I'm going to have fun. (Whereas my friend Stephanie has to serve Saturday school/detention, lol ISS for her!...<.< >.>...-flees-) We're going to go to the Wellington Green Mall to hang out for my friend Salina's 15th Birthday. ^-^ Yay her! Yep. It's going to be Me, Salina, Stephanie, John, Ryan (Salina's Bf), James (I think that's his name), Heather, Kayla, Kayla's bf (whoever that is, lol), Angela, Erica (I think...), and some other people that I don't know. Yay! ^-^ I love the mall! Spencers....Hot Topic....WaldenBooks.... and don't forget...Ben & Jerry's...heh. I'm a lunatic, I know. I've come to be aware of my problems and embrace them. ^-^ Yay!
And guess what's after that!!! Yes! It is a Semi-Formal party!! YAY!!! -happy dance, happy dance- ^-^ Yay yay yay yay yay!!!!!!!! ^-^ I can't wait! I love little dressy uppy things like that...even though I don't act like it very much. It's like...just because I wear black and listen to rock music people think 'Oh she won't come, so why ask'. Gah! Ask! Geez! Heh. I'm happy...because...I met somebody...^-^
Yes. It's offical...I think for the first time ever...I've fallen for someone. O.O It's so weird. I mean...you always hear about the girl falling for the guy..but really...it's never happened for me. Sure, I'll like them a lot...but most of the time I'm not able to see them often, or their a total ass, etc etc. But this time...it's different.
Alright. I'll go into the total explaination. Okay. This is what I usually envision as the perfect guy:
Tall, at least 6'2, with either long black hair pulled back or messy 2" long reddish brown hair, with the bright green or blue eyes, pale, muscular, BUILT, with good clothes sense (Usually the long trench coat with the major baggy black pants and a black wife beater), broad shoulders, slim, etc.
...Adam...is everything but. He's about 5'10 (an inch and a half taller than me) with short blonde hair and blue gray eyes. He's very thin, and is muscular, but it's more of a wiry muscular than a built muscular. He's a runner, not a weightlifter or such. His hair is SHORT! (lol) He's tan, and has the strangest sense in clothes- I mean, it all coordinates and such...it's just different. (And I'm not meaning the poser look either -Like wearing South Pole, Wranglers, A Skater shirt, and sneakers, ya know?) He's a bit redneckish without trying, with a great sense of humor. And...he's never angry! ^-^ It's such a great experience just to be around him! He's 15, and home schools except for Debate, which he goes to my school for.
I first met him in the Youth group that i attend, and I've been getting to know him ever since...though I wish I knew him a lot better...^-^ He's got the greatest personality, he really likes talking with me, and he acts like I'm a really person all the time- not just an object to carry around with a title or what not. He doesn't dump his problems (if he ever has any) on me either. It's so...unreal...
I mean...all of my boyfriends -with the exception of one- was exactly like what I put as my ideal boyfriend. Again, with the exception of one, they all were the Jock kind of guy and ALL of them when I went out with them only acted as if I were only a random object to call 'girlfriend'...and truthfully, I don't think any of them knew me. Now...I've got a friend. Before anything else, a friend who accepts me. ^-^ And I have fallen.
Of course, this doesn't sway my opinion that Brandon from Incubus and Chester from Linkin Park are sexy beasts, but...I still like him. A whole lot...
Just think. I've fallen for a slightly nerdy guy. ^-^ And he doesn't want me to change who I am.
Bliss. Utter Bliss.
**El
P.S. And if anyone ever happens to mention this to him, I will kindly cut off their head and add it to my growing collection in my closet ^-~ Stephanie! Wuv yal!
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Tuesday, December 14, 2004
 Here's a Smirk for You! ^__^
Heylo My Friends!
^____^ -huggles all around- I missed being here! I'm sorry that it's been so long. Do you know what's had me sad though?
For some reason, my Chatter Box is no longer among us of the living. ;-; -sniffle sniffle- I was so sad! My second baby ever! -sigh- Ah well. There'll be a third some day. I just hope that it hadn't been some ONE who had killed it...because then the Sanaenae side of me would have full reign of me-
Which brings me to my next point. This little *BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP*ing idiot kid keeps starting *beep* with me. >.< OOOOhhhh I have been sooo pissed off! I'm going to fight him. There's no doubt in my mind. Actually, we're going to gang fight. Him and his redneck "buddies" (No offence to rednecks, because technically I AM a redneck) want to fight me and my "goth" friends, so Me and Stephanie are going to round up my brother and my friends Chris, Brandon, Jeremy, and Cirbicular and we're going to beat 'em up. Simple as that. If they would rather it be off campus- it's all good for me. But i am most DEFINITELY punching him at LEAST once either tomorrow or the day after. -.- See, I have been thinking 'no, exams are coming up and I need to pass them, so I'd better wait until the 23 (our last day) to kick his ass' but frankly, I'm not on that same wavelength anymore. SO ANNOYING!!! -.- -stabs random person named GORDON-
...
I know, I'm sounding a little homicidal, and for that, I apologize. I won't go into detail in all the different ways I feel like beating him up, but if I do- believe me when I say that as soon as I'm able to get back to a computer you'll be getting an in depth description of every tiny detail.
^-^
I'm such a kind person. Really, I am.
...Just never piss me off...
Well, I haven't got a whole lot more to say, so I'm just going to run away and try to visit some more of yal's sytes! ^-^ Ta Ta!
**El
P.S. Here's a few very awesome sytes that I just stumbled across::
Starlightmks.com
Carrielynnesworld.com
dragonflare.net/gsoag/
It's awesome! -huggles-
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Thursday, December 9, 2004
Hey All!
Hey Everyone!!!
I'm BAAAAAAAACK! ^-^ Yay! ...-watches as everyone runs away-
;-; Come Back!!!!!!!!!!!
-sniffle- Okay. Anyway...Well, lemme think. uhm. Yea. Well, my Tourny is on Saturday!!!!!! hehe. You guys already know what's basically going to be happening (Going for 1st) so...yea. Heather's going to be spending the night Friday and getting a ride to the Tourny (It's at my old school at Palm Beach Gardens! Eep!!) so...yea...It might be a lil awkward. I know I spelled it wrong...-.- Whatever. Anyway. So...YEP! My dad/sister/sister/uncle/&doggy are all coming down either this weekend or sometime next week (YAY!!! I can't wait...though...I'm going to have to chain Holly to a wall to keep her from killing certain people...Heather too...oh wait, don't forget the fact that my dad's so royally pissed off that he was cleaning the barrels of his two colt 45s when I was talking to him last night...-.-) Yea. Long story, which I've already explained to you all. Yet again...lol. Yea. I can't wait til they're here. I've been so...mood swingish lately. I've been REALLY happy and yet...depressed at the same time. It's weird.
((Ok, I'm being thrown off the computer for a while, so I'll be modifying this, because I have a lot more to say, kk? Bai!))
Modified::
Okay, I'm back! ^-^ I feel so special now! ^__^ As I was saying, I usually calm dow na lot when I'm with my whole family, so I really can't wait. In all honesty, my life needs a slow down right now. Am I getting too deep again? lol Anyway... Yea. I'm really tired. Tired of...a lot of things that keep resurfacing, no matter how much I ignore them. My friend has...stooped down to ...eh... yelling (to put it mildly) at someone...no names once more... Yes. I am sure that you guys can guess exactly what I'm talking about, so I need not worry that you don't know. ((Unless you're a new reader, and if so I apologize. I'm usually not this evasive when talking to you guys.))
ANYWAY...
I wuv u all, I really do. I thank you guys for all your support! ^-^ -hugs you all-
Just a friendly reminder:
My Chatter Box Thingy is open for anyone, to talk about whatever you'd like. ^-^
I feel like an infomercialist...-.- I'm thinking that I'm going to go right now...But never fear. I'm going to try and write again on Friday, and I'll try and visit everyone's sites before they kick me off ((again))... Ta Ta! ^-^
**El
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Tuesday, December 7, 2004
Hiyas!
Hey all! ^-^
-waves- I made some new friends today! Woohoo!
I know, that was random...anyway... I wasn't here yesterday because I was major barf-a-bil-ity-ish-ly sick. V-V -sniffle sniffle- Yea. I stayed home from school and was in 'prison', confined to my cell, lol. And I was fed poison! (NyQuil!) Eeep! But I'm feeling better. My mum said that it was probably because of my house. You see, right now my house is kinda...ghetto. Yea... It has a biiiiiiiiiiiiig hole in the ceiling of my living room from the hurricane (Frances) and the roof above that is water logged, and in my room there's major water damage to the point of which THAT section of my ceiling is going to fall in TOO. Yay? Not really, because I'm pretty allergic to:
1) Mold. -.-
2) Insulation. -.-'
3) Rot. -.-;
So, basically, this is a major war zone for me. And I have to live there...-.- We can't afford to go anywhere else right now.
My dad is coming sometime this week with my Uncle Jim and two sisters and them, Danny, and Jay (and me, of course) are all going to fix the house. I know what you're thinking. 'Oh, those three girls are all going to be just bringing out refreshments'. Heh, I WISH! I come from one of those houses where everybody works except my mom. (She's the one w/the refreshments, lol) So, basically there's going to be three men and two women and one teenage girl up on that roof. Sounds like fun? Yep! ^-^ (I know, it sounds contradicting, but I love roofing! I already helped fix my Gram's house and my Aunt's! ^-^) I think my favorite part is probably putting the shingles up, because I get to use a nail gun. Muahahahahahahahahaha*croaks*...ow. -.- Yet again, what's going through your minds: 'They let a hyper lunatic teenager use a nail gun?!' YEP! Muahaha..ok, I think I'm done with that. But, yea!
It's a lot of fun, too! Cuz basically...well, it's sort of a family event and because it's a reason for me to hang out with the rest of my family. My dad, uncle and two sisters all live in Virginia, so I only get to see them maybe once or twice a year, so this is like...major cool! Because not only are they coming up this week, but (like always) my round trip flight for Winter Vaca is on the 27th, so it's going to be like...they'll come down, stay a pretty long while, then by the time they're back up there, it'll be one or two days until I get to go see them! ^-^ Awesome! ^-^
Alright, enough rambling about that subject! (You all know what's coming next) DEBATE!! hehehehe Well, we have another tourny! Woohoo!!!!! ^-^ Me-n-Heather are going to be doing Family Names again. Remember that one? (Why am I asking my computer? o.O Oh well) But anyway. We got 5th place when we were going against Varsity-hold up. Varsity=ppl who have been in Debate for 2-4 years. Novice(me)= 1st years.(proceed)- in the last tourny, but this time it's an all novice, so we're brushing up our skills and we're going to try for 1st. ^-^ It'll be fun. I love tournys. Can you tell?? ^______^ AHEM. But yea, she'll be coming to my house on Wednesday til 7 to practice, and be spending the night on Friday to practice, then we'll just drive her to Tourny on Saturday. It'll be really kewlio. ^-^
On to another subject...well, I've started going to church again. Go me? (I hope I don't offend anyone, the whole 'talking about God' thing...but, this is my Otaku space so-to-speak, so...yal can just skip this para if you want...) Well, yal all know how I get along with my mum...averagely at best. But, we've been getting along pretty well, and I thought I'd make her happy and go to church with her. I've been going to youth with my friend Cameron for a while at his church and it's pretty cool, and I like that, so I figured...well. I'll be truthful. In all honesty, I had my friend over to spend the night, and we were talking about death because some how we got on the subject. Anyway, we got on the subject and well...we were talking about where we'd end up, so to speak. And...well, to tell the truth, I'm not the best kid. I have stolen before, I have a cursing problem, I've tried cigs and drinking. (No drugs, though.) But I try to keep straight as I can, and I try to be good. But when I heard from my own friend that she didn't think I'd make it skyward (so to speak) that kinda shook me. I mean...that's not something to joke about. Sure, I joke about reincarnation (I'm the reincarnate of a worm, lol. Long story) but I don't believe in it. So...I've only got one chance. What if I blow it? What if I die tomorrow by some freak accident? What if what if what if? So that got me thinking, and I just...started to evaluate myself, and I saw so much...bad. I mean...look at me. I have a lot of things that aren't good inside of me. So I started praying. Crying too- I'm not ashamed to say it. So I'm trying to make it back to where I shyed off that path that I've been slowly getting back on. I mean, until then, I still believed that everything was fine. I mean, before I really started to change, I was the "perfect daughter". I listened to my parents, did what I was told, went to church three times a week, said my prayers every night, did my laundry without being told that wearing everything clean and your size in the household is unacceptable...etc. Then...I don't know. My life as a whole started going down hill. I started to get very angry. We moved. Then my dad left. Then my sister left. My other sister moved in then moved right back out and left. My mom got rid of my dog even. Lost a couple boyfriends. Went the gothic route. What I've realized is that doing that crap isn't going to make you happy- the rebellion, the sneaking out, the stealing, the drinking...you might get a buzz, it might be okay for a while...but when you're home alone for hours on end afterwards, and you're sitting on the couch or in the bathroom while you're throwing up...you realize that maybe this isn't the way.
I think that my friend really told me what I needed to hear, and woke me up to reality. I know I'm going to make mistakes. I know I'm never going to be 'perfect'. I'm not even going to try to be my mother's 'perfect daughter' because I know it'll never happen. I also understand that my life's not going to get better on the tract that I was riding on. Maybe...just maybe...things are going to get better now. Maybe I'm doing the right thing. And maybe not...but...I'm trying.
Alright, I know I got major deep, and for that, I'm sorry. I try to stay pretty light, but I wanted to get that out of my system. I love you all, and I thank you for everything. ^-^
**El
Modified::
Heylo. This is some random quiz I took...yes, it's waaaaay off topic...yes, I know it's weird...that's me in a really bright nutshell for ya...^-^ Baiz!
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Saturday, December 4, 2004
 Eh heh heh...go figure?
Modified::
Hey. This is some random quiz I just took and thought I'd share because...well, you'll see. ^-^ hehe
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Thursday, December 2, 2004
 Wow!!!
Heylo!
Wow!
Well, you all know how I'm in debate, right? (watches as people's eyes roll, and doze off from boredom) ...Thanks for your vote of support. ANYway...I signed up for a fundraiser because I'm one poor SOB, and I got my fundraiser yesterday, last period. It's selling chocolate.
TORTURE!!!!!!!
Oh my goodness, this chocolate is sooo good! O.O It's selling like crazy, and these people love it! They're even buying the chocolate with almonds! WoW. Can I just say that it tastes soooo good! I'm going broke! (And no, I'm not using the $ ppl give me...though I did think of it once or twice) I've finally come to a decision. I must act like a crack dealer. -.- I may not smoke what I sell. (or eat, in this matter). It's TORTURE!!!!! >.< -sniffles- And all these kids are eating it around me. ;-; Even my friend's dad bought some. My teacher almost had a heart attack when I walked into class with my box, and he was like- "Is that 'Worlds Finest Chocolate'?!" I was like..."Yea..." He made me swear that I'd bring them tomorrow because he wants to buy at least three! This is WORSE THAN CRACK!!! These people are hooked on it! They aint hooked on Phonics anymore, they're hooked on Choco!
And I'm just sitting here...being TORTURED!!!!!!!
Ta Ta! ^-^
**El
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Monday, November 29, 2004
 I Love You All!
^-^
You guys made me feel so much better! I love you all!!! ^_______^ -big group hug-...-back slowly away...- No, I'm not a hippie. -.- Anywho...I just really wanted to say thanks right HERE ^_^ so nobody could miss it. I WUV YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ^-^ ^-^ You guys are awesome. I think I'm going to start calling all of you my Emo-support group. ^-^ Yal boost my confidence a lot!
Alright, a lot of you are saying, okay okay we heard you the first twenty times. Well, ya know what?! Thirty's cooler anyway, so keep a lid on it! ^___^...^^; I'm so weird...
OKIPOKI!! Well, today I've basically just been sitting here with mah friend Stephanie (Enfant De Glace/Sesshoumaruzgurl) trying to rub these two braincells of mine and hers to create our newest co-written story...that has no title as of yet....-.-' It's a major Vampire/Faerie "thing" with a cross over of Inu&YYH. Interesting? You have no idea. Alright, I have to go now, or I'd go more into detail. -.- Stupid library. -glare glare- Love yal!
**El
hehe, this one's awesome!
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Saturday, November 27, 2004
 The Laugh's on Him
Hey all!
I'm sure you're all standing there, staring at the subject line, going "Huh?" Well, don't worry, I'll explain it all to you in a bit. First off, I want to say that I hope that everyone had a great Thanksgiving Weekend!! (Doesn't it just make us wish that our December break was closer?)
Okay. Anyway, thank you all a TON! for yal's support- I'm glad we did so well too! ^-^
Alright, next to wheere I started. The laugh IS on him. Who? Ryan. You know, my boyfriend? Well, used-to-be-bf.
Okay, this is what happened- See, we were talking on the phone, and Ryan's one of the stupid "suicidal" people. -.- He's so stupid. He has such a good life ahead of him. His parents are together and happy and he has a little sister and it's all good. They have good jobs and he doesn't do anything around the house and still gets $20 a week for "allowance". Feh. But, in his own words "His life is horrible, and no one will understand him". Anyway, I was just sort of ignoring him while he wa all moaning about his life because I was cooking (and listening to AFI ^-^) and he didn't seem to like it very much. So then he was going on about how I don't care about him and how I'm a horrid person. I was like- whatever, I'm not letting it get to me. So I just said the usual- I do care, I'm just a little busy right now cooking supper. Well, he didn't LIKE that answer, and before I know it, I'm hearing stuff about how I'm such a slut and how I'm a whore and how I'm so easy the whole school could buy bedroom time with me for less than $3, and that he could get ANY girl on Earth and that'd be better than me. -.-
It went on like that for about 20 whole minutes, and by this time I was on the verge of either hysterics, tears, or both. I was trying to keep my cool, asking him why he thought this and such. He wouldn't answer, and some of the things were really starting to hurt, but when he started about my family- oh hell no! There's no one else in the world that I'd protect more than my family- specifically because I DON'T have that perfect life that he does. He tells me that I don't understand how horrid his life is- I tell him that he has no clue. He hasn't had to rely on neighbors for food because your mom doesn't have a car to drive to work and you're only a little kid. He doesn't know how it's like to not see his dad for years at a time. He doesn't, instead he takes it all for granted, always saying that he wished that his dad and mom( who he calls a SLUT! O.O) would die etc. So when he started saying shit about my mom and my sisters, I couldn't take it and hung up. And do you know what was on my answering machine?! "El- why the HELL did you even have the NERVE to hang up on me? Call me back, you stupid bitch." I was like...O.O HELLO!!! That wasn't even my line- it's my MOM's! So in all honesty, I wa sobbing- he always said he loved me, and then this. WHat happened? So I called my sisters (they live in virginia) Holly and Heather. It goes without saying that they were pissed, but Holly was waaaaaaay beyond pissed, and I never even got to tell her that he was saying shit about her before she was already on the phone. Let's just say- he was put in his place. Not only now is it that if he calls me it'll be reported as harassment, but Holly has already made damn sure through her connections that he won't be getting ANY gf (no matter how SLUTTY >.<) for a damn long time- if ever. So hah! Stupid f*er.
Damn. My life sounds like a Jerry Springer commercial. Oh well. It feels good to have that off my chest, though it makes me really angry and sad at the same time. -.-
Well, I have to get going, have to help Stephanie with a research project about Pegasus. Ta Ta, I <3 you all.
**El
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Wednesday, November 24, 2004
 WE PLACED!!!
Hey all!!!
Sorry I haven't gotten to write in a while, but you guys all love me, right?! ANYWAY! On to my TERRIFIC NEWS!! ^-^ We placed! 5th! And we didn't even know all of our lines!!! It was so awesome!!! YAY!!! ^_^ heh. We were so siked. I'm thinking about doing DP next time though. I'll be doing Charlie and the Chocolate Factory! ^-^ AWESOME!!! ^___^
Oh, you know how I didn't do my LD? Well, I finally wrote my Aff. case during lunch, and then she had me do my case yesterday and it was so awesome! (We started presenting yesterday too, btw) I love how we're aloud to be as bitchy as we want during Cross Ex as long as we're polite! It's great!! I'm also thinking about doing LD maybe. I dunno. ^-^ It all depends, I guess....I dunno. I'm thinking that I'm thinking too much...what do yal think?
**El
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Friday, November 19, 2004
 Does no one like my ickly widdle cr?!
Heylo!!
Straight to my subject- Does no one like it?! Is that why no one comments on it? -sob sob- I just want to know if it works! (and I wouldn't mind if you guys wrote on there anyway, but for now, since that seems like shooting too high for yal, I'll keep it to strictly to if it works...) Mainly, the whole 'works' thing because my friend told me that it came up with a no writing thing while she tried to send something, but then, she was at the library. So just tell me, my ever so lovable readers and friends. I'll love you forever, I promise! ^___^
How it works:
1) Put in whatever nickname you'd like to have (no spaces).
2) Click enter.
3) and Viola! You can type whatever you'd like as much as you'd like! ^-^ Isn't it great?!
Yea...I don't have much else to type about...I still haven't done my LD case...god, I'm such a procrastinator....-.-...My tourny is tomorrow- Please wish me luck! I'm going to need it! My partner still doesn't know her lines!!! O.O Ahem. But after the tourny (I really hope I place ^-^) the whole team (all 70 of us) are going to Tree's Wings for supper, which will be nice...even though my Mother probably won't let me eat...-sigh- Oh well. It's better than just going home and sitting around with her, right? ^-^ Alright, going to go practice (by myself) once more my Duo Script (it's called Family Names ^-^). If we DO place, I'll try to get a computer to tell you all about it on Sunday. (And if we place I'll post what placement and probably the whole script, because I'll be so proud ^__^). AHEM! Anyway, must get going.
Ta Tas!
**El
P.S. I think I'm going to start posting these little guys from http://www.mimisk8.com every time I post, just because they're so cute! <(^-^)>
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