Tuesday, December 7, 2004

Hiyas!
Hey all! ^-^

-waves- I made some new friends today! Woohoo!

I know, that was random...anyway... I wasn't here yesterday because I was major barf-a-bil-ity-ish-ly sick. V-V -sniffle sniffle- Yea. I stayed home from school and was in 'prison', confined to my cell, lol. And I was fed poison! (NyQuil!) Eeep! But I'm feeling better. My mum said that it was probably because of my house. You see, right now my house is kinda...ghetto. Yea... It has a biiiiiiiiiiiiig hole in the ceiling of my living room from the hurricane (Frances) and the roof above that is water logged, and in my room there's major water damage to the point of which THAT section of my ceiling is going to fall in TOO. Yay? Not really, because I'm pretty allergic to:
1) Mold. -.-
2) Insulation. -.-'
3) Rot. -.-;

So, basically, this is a major war zone for me. And I have to live there...-.- We can't afford to go anywhere else right now.

My dad is coming sometime this week with my Uncle Jim and two sisters and them, Danny, and Jay (and me, of course) are all going to fix the house. I know what you're thinking. 'Oh, those three girls are all going to be just bringing out refreshments'. Heh, I WISH! I come from one of those houses where everybody works except my mom. (She's the one w/the refreshments, lol) So, basically there's going to be three men and two women and one teenage girl up on that roof. Sounds like fun? Yep! ^-^ (I know, it sounds contradicting, but I love roofing! I already helped fix my Gram's house and my Aunt's! ^-^) I think my favorite part is probably putting the shingles up, because I get to use a nail gun. Muahahahahahahahahaha*croaks*...ow. -.- Yet again, what's going through your minds: 'They let a hyper lunatic teenager use a nail gun?!' YEP! Muahaha..ok, I think I'm done with that. But, yea!

It's a lot of fun, too! Cuz basically...well, it's sort of a family event and because it's a reason for me to hang out with the rest of my family. My dad, uncle and two sisters all live in Virginia, so I only get to see them maybe once or twice a year, so this is like...major cool! Because not only are they coming up this week, but (like always) my round trip flight for Winter Vaca is on the 27th, so it's going to be like...they'll come down, stay a pretty long while, then by the time they're back up there, it'll be one or two days until I get to go see them! ^-^ Awesome! ^-^

Alright, enough rambling about that subject! (You all know what's coming next) DEBATE!! hehehehe Well, we have another tourny! Woohoo!!!!! ^-^ Me-n-Heather are going to be doing Family Names again. Remember that one? (Why am I asking my computer? o.O Oh well) But anyway. We got 5th place when we were going against Varsity-hold up. Varsity=ppl who have been in Debate for 2-4 years. Novice(me)= 1st years.(proceed)- in the last tourny, but this time it's an all novice, so we're brushing up our skills and we're going to try for 1st. ^-^ It'll be fun. I love tournys. Can you tell?? ^______^ AHEM. But yea, she'll be coming to my house on Wednesday til 7 to practice, and be spending the night on Friday to practice, then we'll just drive her to Tourny on Saturday. It'll be really kewlio. ^-^

On to another subject...well, I've started going to church again. Go me? (I hope I don't offend anyone, the whole 'talking about God' thing...but, this is my Otaku space so-to-speak, so...yal can just skip this para if you want...) Well, yal all know how I get along with my mum...averagely at best. But, we've been getting along pretty well, and I thought I'd make her happy and go to church with her. I've been going to youth with my friend Cameron for a while at his church and it's pretty cool, and I like that, so I figured...well. I'll be truthful. In all honesty, I had my friend over to spend the night, and we were talking about death because some how we got on the subject. Anyway, we got on the subject and well...we were talking about where we'd end up, so to speak. And...well, to tell the truth, I'm not the best kid. I have stolen before, I have a cursing problem, I've tried cigs and drinking. (No drugs, though.) But I try to keep straight as I can, and I try to be good. But when I heard from my own friend that she didn't think I'd make it skyward (so to speak) that kinda shook me. I mean...that's not something to joke about. Sure, I joke about reincarnation (I'm the reincarnate of a worm, lol. Long story) but I don't believe in it. So...I've only got one chance. What if I blow it? What if I die tomorrow by some freak accident? What if what if what if? So that got me thinking, and I just...started to evaluate myself, and I saw so much...bad. I mean...look at me. I have a lot of things that aren't good inside of me. So I started praying. Crying too- I'm not ashamed to say it. So I'm trying to make it back to where I shyed off that path that I've been slowly getting back on. I mean, until then, I still believed that everything was fine. I mean, before I really started to change, I was the "perfect daughter". I listened to my parents, did what I was told, went to church three times a week, said my prayers every night, did my laundry without being told that wearing everything clean and your size in the household is unacceptable...etc. Then...I don't know. My life as a whole started going down hill. I started to get very angry. We moved. Then my dad left. Then my sister left. My other sister moved in then moved right back out and left. My mom got rid of my dog even. Lost a couple boyfriends. Went the gothic route. What I've realized is that doing that crap isn't going to make you happy- the rebellion, the sneaking out, the stealing, the drinking...you might get a buzz, it might be okay for a while...but when you're home alone for hours on end afterwards, and you're sitting on the couch or in the bathroom while you're throwing up...you realize that maybe this isn't the way.

I think that my friend really told me what I needed to hear, and woke me up to reality. I know I'm going to make mistakes. I know I'm never going to be 'perfect'. I'm not even going to try to be my mother's 'perfect daughter' because I know it'll never happen. I also understand that my life's not going to get better on the tract that I was riding on. Maybe...just maybe...things are going to get better now. Maybe I'm doing the right thing. And maybe not...but...I'm trying.

Alright, I know I got major deep, and for that, I'm sorry. I try to stay pretty light, but I wanted to get that out of my system. I love you all, and I thank you for everything. ^-^

**El




Modified::

Heylo. This is some random quiz I took...yes, it's waaaaay off topic...yes, I know it's weird...that's me in a really bright nutshell for ya...^-^ Baiz!

Personality Test
Name / Username
Personality type	Athlete
Quirks	Your butt doubles as a pillow
Most Likey To	Sell your liver on eBay
Least Likely To	Be caught dancing naked while singing into a hairbrush
This quiz by faeriebebe - Taken 1014 Times.

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