Wednesday, January 5, 2005

   I've had better days...
Today...

...I want it to become a yesterday. =(

School was terrible today for the most part. I didn't have a very good night last night either, and it's just...rough. But, I'm fine. It's just one of those days.

I'm trying to cheer myself at the moment. I'm glad I'm home. Maybe I will later just go up and get lost in videogames. That always helps me. It takes my mind of any stressful things. But, today, I just feel...useless. I don't really see how I am worth anything to people. It kinda sucks.

But, deep down, I know I am not useless. So, I know this will pass. It isn't depression, I think. I never get depressed. I just think it is discouragement. I don't feel like I can meet anyone's standards for me. I just don't feel good enough.

...and...

School is fun some days, but I feel so unknown. EVERYONE is nice to me, yet, I have no close friends. It's just hard. That's all I can say.

But, enough talk of that. I am not one who ever likes to focus on the negative. I will talk of some good things that happened today. =)

"Because, everyday something good always happens."^^

Today, I had fun in P.E. Not only is Mr. Thomson, my P.E. instructor, my favorite teacher, but we also played some odd game called mad ball. It was a.w.e.s.o.m.e.

I won't go into details about the sport and it's rules, but I really like P.E. I also made a major dodge, trying not to get hit by a ball, yet I jumped, did a flip type thing in the air(o_O), and then landed on the gym floor with a THUD!

...And then I got hit by a ball. T.T

...And got out. Sadness! Yet, it rocked. I love aggressive sports! Hah. I'm not really an aggressive person, but I love competition!

Also, today, I saw Jim.^.^ He didn't speak to me however. Grrrr. >.<

Lessee...more good things....

Uh...Pinyo! I soooo HART Pinyo! He's so sweet. He is a Thai exchange student, and he sits in front of me in my US History class.

Gee wow. That kid just makes my day! He is bubbly, fun, and talkative! Which, is my kind of person. I can talk the leg of a mule, so I really like it when people yak a lot.

I'm also thinking about joining some clubs. Perhaps Key Club, or Service Club. I need to get out there and meet some people in my new school.

But, all is yet well, only because I don't depend on school for my complete happiness. :) Though, it does dishearten me at times. I just hope I am a good person, and a person that is worth something, and that I am what I am supposed to be.

There is just nothing sweeter than when someone smiles a large, joyful smile when they see you enter the room. That's what I want...

Anyhoo, I'm outtys! This is prolly WAY to long again.

~Leanne~





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