Birthday • 1993-10-08 Gender •
Male Location • Yo Mama's house Member Since • 2005-10-02 Occupation • Protector Of The Earth Real Name • Goku
Personal
Achievements • SSj,2,3,4...BITCH! Anime Fan Since • 1995 Favorite Anime • DragonBall Z Goals • To get Chi-chi to stop being such a bitch...god... Hobbies • Getting stronger... Talents • KAMEHAMEHA!!bitch!
myOtaku.com: FierceAssassin08
Welcome to my site archives. 10 posts are listed per page.
WHEEEEEEEE!!!!!
Today at school was actually sorta.....different...
There's this girl on my bus who's only in 7th grade but she got big titti-----SHUT UP!!!!!*slaps self in the head* You didn't read that!!!!But when we got off the bus today...My and my friends all started doing that Chicken Noodle Soup dance...y'know!
Chicken Noodle Soup, Chicken Noodle Soup, Chicken Noodle Soup,Wit A Soda on the Side....
Which brings me to something else! Who the hell eats Chicken Noodle Soup with a Soda????....on the side...That's like putting mustard on some fried chicken....*throws up in mouth*...AHHH!!!! IT BURNS!!!!!! *drank some hot sauce earlier*
*goes to wash out mouth* .....*sighs* Now...As I was saying---
???-Daniel??
....Melody??
Melody-J?
....Why? r u here? Seriously....
Melody-Mew told me to look over here!
.......You're looking for Daniel....am I correct?
Melody-Ummm...Yeah! Didn't you hear me calling his name?
MORE JOOOOOOOKES!!!!!!
A large, powerfully-built guy meets a woman at a bar. After a number of drinks, they agree to go back to his place. As they are making out in the bedroom, he stands up and starts to undress. After he takes his shirt off, he flexes his muscular arms and says, "See that, baby? That''s 1000 pounds of dynamite!" She begins to drool. The man drops his pants, strikes a bodybuilder''s pose, and says, referring to his bulging thighs, "See those, baby? That''s 1000 pounds of dynamite!" She is aching for action at this point. Finally, he drops his underpants, and after a quick glance, she grabs her purse and runs screaming to the front door. He catches her before she is able to leave and asks, "Why are you in such a hurry to go?" She replies, "With 2000 pounds of dynamite and such a short fuse, I was afraid you were about to blow!"
Love's a sensation caused by temptation, a guy sticks his location in a girl's destination, to increase the population of the next generation.
Do you understand my explanation?
Or do you need a demonstration?
Actual Instruction Labels...
* ON A KOREAN KITCHEN KNIFE:
Warning keep out of children.
* ON A HAIR DRYER:
Do not use while sleeping.
* ON A BAG OF FRITOS:
You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
* ON A BAR OF DIAL SOAP:
Directions: Use like regular soap.
* ON A FROZEN DINNER:
Serving suggestion: Defrost.
* ON A HOTEL-PROVIDED SHOWER CAP:
Fits one head.
* ON TESCO''S TIRAMISU DESERT:
Do not turn upside down. (Printed on the bottom of the box.)
* ON MARKS & SPENCER BREAD PUDDING:
Product will be hot after heating.
* ON PACKAGING FOR A ROWENTA IRON:
Do not iron clothes on body.
* ON BOOTS CHILDRENS'' COUGH MEDICINE:
Do not drive car or operate machinery.
* ON NYTOL (A SLEEP AID):
Warning: may cause drowsiness.
* ON A STRING OF CHINESE MADE CHRISTMAS LIGHTS:
For indoor or outdoor use only.
* ON A JAPANESE FOOD PROCESSOR:
Not to be used for the other use.
* ON SAINSBURY''S PEANUTS:
Warning: contains nuts.
* ON AN AMERICAN AIRLINES PACKET OF NUTS:
Instructions: open packet, eat nuts.
* ON A SWEDISH CHAINSAW:
Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands.
That's it for today...Wel-----Wait a minute...
Um...Melody? You know you have to get out, right?
According to the feedback from the other day, I decided to put even MORE JOKES!!!!!
A nerdy little accountant is sent to jail for embezzlement and they put him in a cell with a huge guy with a big bulge. The cellmate says, "I wanna have some sex. Are you gonna be the husband or the wife?"
The little guy says, "Well, if I have to be one or the other, I guess I'd rather be the husband."
The big guy says, "Okay. Now get over here and suck your wife's dick."
NEXT!!!!
Q. How are tornadoes and marriage alike?
A. They both begin with a lot of blowing and sucking, and in the end you lose your house.
NEXT!!!!
What do you call a 90-year-old man who can still masturbate?
Miracle Whip!
NEXT!!!!
There are three men in the bathroom, two Englishmen and an Australian. All are at the urinals.
The first Englishman zips up and walks over to the sink and uses a lot of soap and water and before he leaves. He says to the others, “In Yorkshire, I learned to be clean and neat.”
The second Englishman zips up, walks over to the sink and uses much less soap and water but is still very clean. He says, “At Bredford Academy, I learned to be clean and neat but still be environmentally aware.”
The third man zips up and heads straight to the door.
NEXT!!!!
Harry and his wife are having hard financial times, so they decide she'll become a hooker.
She's not quite sure what to do, so Harry says, "Stand in front of that bar and pick up a guy and tell him it'll be a hundred bucks. If you've got a question, I'll be parked around the corner."
She's not there five minutes when a guy pulls up and asks, "How much?"
She says, "A hundred dollars."
He says, "Shit. All I've got is thirty."
She says, "Hold on." She runs back to Harry and says, "What can he get for thirty dollars?"
Harry says, "A handjob."
She runs back and tells the guy all he gets for thirty dollars is a handjob.
He says, "Okay."
She gets in the car, he unzips his pants, and out pops a HUGE PENIS.
She stares at it for a minute, and then says, "I'll be right back."
She runs back around the corner and says breathlessly, "Harry, can you lend this guy seventy bucks?"
NEXT!!!
There was an old couple who hadn't celebrated Halloween in a long time, so they decided to dress up and go out. The old woman went in her bedroom, stripped naked, and tied a string between her legs with a lemon at the end of the string. When she walked out of the room her husband yelled, "You can't go out like that!"
"I can go out as whatever I want and so can you!"
The man agreed and went into his room. Soon he came out naked with a string tied to his penis and a potato at the end of the string.
The woman said, "You're going out as that?"
''Yes,'' said the old man. ''If you can go out as a sourpuss, I can go out as a dicktator."
Next...
Christmas was just around the corner, and a father was a bit upset with his son, who would always say, "motherfucking."
Especially troubling was his letter to Santa, which read: "I want a motherfucking bike and a motherfucking train set right under the motherfucking tree, motherfucker. Love, Sam."
So the father decided that instead of presents, he would leave piles of dogshit under the tree for the boy. On Christmas morning, the father got up to see his son sitting in the living room.
"What did Santa get you, son?" the father asked, a malicious grin spreading across his face.
"A motherfucking dog, I guess, but I can't motherfucking find it."
Dat's all for now...OH!!!!!
Everyone who plays Dance Dance Revolution!! Here's video footage of the Challenge steps for Fascination MaXX, The new Max song for Dance Dance Revolution:SuperNOVA!!! (notice that he fails on the second to last note...)
I'm OUT, bitches!(don't take it personally...bitches)
What starts with F and ends with UCK!!??? JOKE DAY!!!!!
Firetruck! DUH!!!!!
This elderly lady went to the doctor for a check-up. Everything checked out fine.
The old lady pulled the doctor to the side and said, "Doctor, I haven't had sex for years now and I was wondering how I can increase my husband's sex drive."
The doctor smiled and said, "Have you tried to give him Viagra?"
The lady frowned. "Doctor, I can't even get him to take aspirin when he has a headache," she claimed.
"Well," the doctor continued, "Let me suggest something. Crush the Viagra into a powder. When you are giving him coffee, stir it into the coffee and serve it. He won't notice a thing."
The old lady was delighted. She left the doctor's office quickly.
Weeks later the old lady returned. She was frowning and the doctor asked her what was wrong. She shook her head.
"How did it go?" the doctor asked.
"Terrible, doctor, terrible."
"Did it not work?"
"Yes," the old lady said, "It worked. I did as you said and he got up and ripped his clothes off right then and there and we made mad love on the table. It was the best sex that I'd had in 25 years."
"Then what is the problem, ma'am?"
"Well," she said. "I can't ever show my face in McDonald's again."
LOL!!!
Little Johnny walked in one day on his daddy in the bathroom. He asked his father what that was hanging between his legs. His father replied that it was the perfect penis. The next day at school, Johnny pulled his pants down in front of his classmates.
''What's that?'' asked Jenny.
''Well,'' said Johnny, ''if it was about 3 inches smaller, it would be the perfect penis.'''
One day when the teacher walked to the black board, she noticed someone had written the word 'penis' in tiny small letters. She turned around, scanned the class looking for the guilty face. Finding none, she quickly erased it, and began her class.
The next day she went into the room and she saw, in larger letters, the word 'penis' again on the black board. Again, she looked around in vain for the culprit, but found none, so she proceeded with the day's lesson.
Every morning, for about a week, she went into the classroom and found the same word written on the board, and each day it was written in larger letters.
Finally, one day, she walked in, expecting to be greeted by the same word on the board, but instead, found the words, "The more you rub it, the bigger it gets!"
Little Johnny came home from school one day and went by his mom's room. The door was open, so he looked in and saw his mom lying on the bed naked moaning and touching herself saying, "Ooh, I need a man! I need a man!"
The next day, Little Johnny got home from school and saw his mom lying on the bed naked with a naked guy on top of her. So Little Johnny ran to his room, stripped down naked, and started to touch himself, while moaning, "Ooh, I need a bike! I need a bike!"
This may hust myself...a lot! Regarding how much I love DragonballZ...
Q-How many characters from DragonBall Z does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Me-You know...I'm actually just making stuff
up until my modem comes back on...*which was five days ago*
Daniel-No wonder...
Me-Hey,Daniel...
Daniel-WHAT?!
Me-Shut the fuck up.
Daniel-Up yours!
Me-*takes out gun*
Daniel-*remembers Melody* OK!OK!
Me-Now...Go make me a sandwich.
Daniel-*leaves*
Me-*turns on TV*...Speaking of TV...why in the blue hell is TV so stale these days?! Does any one remem---*BOOOOOOOOOMMMMM!!!!* * runs into kitchen**bursts out laughing* Dude...what the hell?
Daniel-The fridge fell on me... Awww! I spilled chocolate pudding all over my pants!!!
Me-...*to self* chocolate pudding?---what the hell---*out loud* We didn't have any chocolate pudding!
Daniel-...
Me-...*bursts out laughing*
Daniel-Please tell me you're joking...
Me-No I am not...*struggles to keep a straight face**helps him up* Looks like you had some bad milk or something...
Daniel-*Goes to the bathroom*
Me-Now...*walks back into room*
Daniel-*walks in with my jeans on*
Me-You..bitch...
Daniel-What...?
Me-Dude, you knew you were coming over here and you didn't bring your own clothes???
Daniel-I'm an ORPHAN!!!!! K-H-Q-Q-Q-Q-Q-Q-Q-Q-Q-Q-Q-Q-Q-Q-Q-Q-Q-*five hours later*O-N!
Me-*walks in with new clothes on...* Mornin' dude!
Daniel-Good morning...
Me-*opens newspaper...dosen't read the newspaper*
FINALLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Daniel-What!?
Me-*shows him newspaper*LANCE BASS FINALLY REVEALS THAT HE'S GAY!!!!!!!!!
Daniel-FINALLY!!
Me-I always knew that SOMEONE in N'Sync was gay!
His partner's probably even gayer than he is...
Daniel-You sure are, dude!*looks at me* *starts laughing* *runs away*
Me-BITCH!!!!!*chases him* *throws a chair* *starts chasing again*
Daniel- I'm on another site, and I'm STILL getting chased!
M. Night Shaymalan- WHAT A TWIST!!!!
Daniel-*trips over M Night*
Me-Gotcha now you little bastard!!!!*puts him into a headlock* Now let's have a little talk!
*five minutes later*
Daniel-I am an orphan...
Me- I can't HEAR you, boy!
Daniel- I AM AN ORPHAN!!!!!
Me-THEY CAN'T HEAR YOU! SAY IT LOUD!!!!
Daniel- I'M AN ORPHAN AND I'M PROUD!BITCH!!!!!!! *James Brown split*
...*dosen't come back up*...OW....
Ah...crap...
As you may have noticed...ChocoRoxas/SasuNaruMuffin recently deleted her MyO account...please don't ask me why, cause I don't knw, either...BUT!!!*just figured something out that will make him mad later on...* Since Jazz...quit...that means that CarmelRox--....*looks up at the camera...* HOUSTON!!!!!!! WE HAVE A---MOTHER---*strikes cameraman* FUCKING---*strikes again* PROBLEM!!!!!!!!*kills cameraman* *snaps neck*
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WHEEEEEEEE!!!!! 
Ah...crap...