Sunday, September 11, 2005

   Underage drinking
[This is a rant. My reasoning shall be irrational, strongly worded and more than likely over-generalized. This rant is targeted at no one in particular.]

Underage drinking. „² Topic brought to you by, Gaia¡¦s General Discussion Forum.

Background: Some 14 year old mind fart makes a topic in the GD about Alcholic Beverages. First thing that pops into my head. ¡¥This kid is spouting crap to look cool and earn ¡§non-conformits¡¨ conforming net cool points.¡¦ Thus the follow rant has been inspired.

[Rant begins here]

Why do underage minors feel the need to drink? Let¡¦s look at the commericals. Parties, trendy night clubs. Pretty people having a good time. That¡¦s how alcohol is marketed to us. TV and movies to ¡Vcertain extent- show us alcohol in rose colored shot glasses. There are some programs however that do show you the side affects or the dark sides to drunkness. But, I say in general¡K it¡¦s shown as ¡§cool¡¨ or drunks are shown as tipsy moments where silly things happen and that alcohols are fluffy clowns with a shiney nose.

Another factor? The parents. I don¡¦t think the parents of these children honestly sit them down and explain things to them. Sure there¡¦s anti drug and alcohol programs in the public schools¡K but that¡¦s not enough. Sit them down, talk to them¡K Don¡¦t talk down to them. Respect the kid and have a discussion with them like they were another adult. Tell them that drinking is a privillage and not a right¡K tell them all the health risk involved with binge drinking¡K and the laws are in place to protect them not to punish. If they want to drink, they¡¦ll have to wait and earn that privillage to drink. If the parents do enjoy a drink¡K and keep liquor in the house. Lock it up. What about beer? Don¡¦t buy a lot of to where it¡¦s in your fridge as a tempation to the kid.

Of course there¡¦s always the friends¡K Don¡¦t let them go to a friends house if you know their parents don¡¦t lock up their liquor. And be careful about older friends your teenager might have¡K just sniff them out. Don¡¦t forbid and don¡¦t demand. And trust them a little bit¡K do what you can but trust that they can make the right decision. Just don¡¦t knowing thrust them into situations where there¡¦s alcohol in their reach.

Sure¡K there¡¦s plenty of ways for them to alcohol¡K just do what you can¡K.while you still can.

Why do you drink? Do you want to get drunk? Why do you want to get drunk? You¡¦re a TEENAGER. How bad can your problems be? There¡¦s actually a very small minority of what people had to deal with. Shut your trap and quit being pseudo-emo. Suck it up and just face your problems. You can¡¦t run away from them. They¡¦re still going to be there when you sober up and you¡¦ll have a lovely migranine to add to all of this.

Does anyone look forward to being sloppy drunk? Does anyone really enjoy not having that control over your own body?

Drinking does not make you cool, it does not make you mature.

Underage drinkers are idiots. It¡¦s not worth increasing your potential of making yourself more effed up.

Comments (0) | Permalink

Saturday, July 30, 2005

   HO CRAP! THE WORLD IS ENDING
o.o

For the past week, the universe has been playing a big joke on me. Whenever I ate, guess what happens? I really wish I never ate. Oh about 20-30 minutes after eating... the nausea and the pain hits. After 20 minutes, the nausea is gone, but the pain hangs around for upwards to an hour. The pain was anything to a dull burn [like after you did a lot of sit ups], to a gurgling pressure, to sharp stabbing pain. So yeah, so fulfilling my bodily functions, look what I get. :D

So I talked to mom and she thought it could've been a number of things.

1.) The heat.. for 3 days we were past 115.
2.) Not eating enough. During the summer, because it gets so hot... the heat kills my appetite.. so I don't eat much other than a very light-almost snacky lunch and a somewhat full dinner... with atleast a snack in the morning or afternoon. Since I don't normally eat after dinner... I go about 18-20 hours without eating between dinner and lunch. And I've had something like this happen before... I ate so lightly, any decent sized meal I ate made me sick.
3.) Mother Nature hates me for having a uterus. Those things officially suck now.
4.) My galbladder. If this continues, it might mean I need to have it removed.

Luckily, I ate a decent lunch. And I didn't get sick. :D My stomach felt a little gurgly but no nausea.

You guys have no clue how happy this makes me. :D
Comments (0) | Permalink

Thursday, July 21, 2005

   Who wants to dance on a taxicab now?
Muaha. So, I watched ‘So you think you can dance?’. Yes, feel free to yell at me for liking a reality TV show, folks. BUT. It’s dancing! If you don’t like dancing, I’m sorry but you’re dead inside. I love to watch people dance [sadly I lack any kind of talent to dance. =D] Just, look at how their bodies move, it’s amazing. It’s fluid, it’s like.. I don’t know… singing with your body! You can just put so much emotion and feeling and personality into this kind of stuff.

My favorites so far -

BRANDON! He was so adorable. Bless his heart, he’s just a guy with a little bit extra. =D BUT! He moves so wonderfully! He has this great personality when he dances, he just gets so into. If you looked at him, you’d think he was too big to dance, but he does, and he’s awesome! So basically he pwned his solo act for the judges, he was a little shaky in the group chorogophry…but he did GREAT in the partner dance. With all his personality, he has plenty to throw back to the partner in the dance. He was just great and such a sweet kid too. I want to see him go far. <3

ASHLEY This girl was pretty. I kept thinking if she doesn’t make it, she should completely be a model. She just this 6 foot tall Irish girl, such graceful limbs. But she did this rockin’ Irish step dance thing. It was so cool. =D She was a little clumsy with the choreography she had to learn for the other rounds. I really don’t think she’s that much of a varied dancer… but I think she can learn new styles if she concentrates and focuses [and she’s not stuck with a total jerkwad for a partner. Some of the guys… they danced… with so much ego and cockiness… ugh.] She’s a great cultural dancer, and I think she can use that to bring real personality to her dancing, but if she doesn’t improve quickly, I don’ think she’ll make it very far.

Nicholas - Not a favorite per say, but his initial audition routine was BRILLIANT and I was happy to see him advance. He’s a breakdancer and one bit of his routine just blew me away. In the music he had, there was one part where all the instrumentals stopped and you could just hear this heart beat/pulse sound. So he threw himself to the floor and with timing near perfect to the pulses, he tugs his shirt to make it look like his heart is beating outside of him and his legs jerk like he was going into cardiac arrest.

One performer who I did not like and who I did not want to see move on Lisa. A brain-dead blonde Brittany spears dancing thing. Ugh. I wish she was cut. She just lacks…unique-ness and personality in her dancing. It was bland, very Brittany spearsy. She had this fake, botox/plastic smile on her face. And she did this lovely airhead-ed hair shaking/head bopping constantly. She danced like a bobble head doll….BLAH! I hope she doesn’t make it past Hollywood. She also auditioned for American Idol, didn’t make it past Hollywood for that one either. And her boyfriend is bald and fat, and the lady interviewing people thought he was her dad! [okay, maybe the last bit was mean, but I really don’t like her.]

Haha. The show makes me want to take belly-dancing lessons now. [And not just because I think the outfits are neat. =D] Yeah I know I have no taste in clothes.

So right now, I’m rooting for Brandon and Ashley. =D I hope those two well. Moreover, I could care less what happens to Lisa, so long as she doesn’t win because I don’t think she deserves it.

Comments (0) | Permalink

Sunday, July 17, 2005

   Confessions of a mall rat poser
So today was the day of my monthly day trip to the mall with Kip.

Long story short. Spend less than sixty bucks in about 6 hours. What crap my money went to:

A new Dungeons and Dragons Player’s Handbook.

A Shigure [dog-form] plush

Angel Sanctuary # 6

Fuzzy Leopard-print dice

A miniature disco ball

Two Sierra Mists

One three-minute massage from the best chair ever.

My god. Ilovethatchairwithmycrazyfeelings.

In the big giant intersection of the mall [it’s X shaped…] is this small group of these large leather recliner looking things. Well come to find out they are delicious massage chairs. I love them… For a buck, you get a three-minute massage. Best three minutes ever….

Comments (0) | Permalink

Thursday, June 30, 2005

   Angel Sancturary
So this past Sunday Mom dropped me off at the mall so I could pick up some stuff at suncoast. Sunday was the last for triple points and I spent 71 bucks there. Haha. Well one of the things I got was another volume in one of my favorite manga series, Angel Sanctuary and I just can’t help talking about it. ^^

Angel Sanctuary for the uneducated… is AWESOME manga [sadly, they butchered the OVA version of it] It deals with some controversial subject matter such as incest, is heaven/hell wholly good/evil? Please note though, it’s NOT a commentary or a satire on the religious conceptions of Angels/Devils…

A summary thus far of the series as taken from the foreword:

High school student Setsuna Mudo has just destroyed the world. He’s always been a troublemaker but his worst sin was falling incestuously in love with his beautiful sister, Sara. However, his troubles aren’t entirely his fault. He is the reincarnation of the Lady Alexiel, an angel who led a the demons of Hell, the Evils, in a revolt against Heaven. Her punishment was to be reborn into tragic life after tragic life. This time it’s Setsuna.

But these days, God does not rule in heaven, instead the leadership of the highest-ranking angels - the child-like Metaron and the strict dictator Sevathrone - is shaky. The made angel, Rosiel, sends his servants Katan and Kirie, a young selfish female angel, to Earth to reawaken a dormant Alexiel inside of Setsuna.

When Kirie kills Sara, it finally awakens Alexiel, but in the violence of her divine resurrection, the city of Tokyo is destroyed. On the brink of death, the ancient angel, Seraphita, saves Setsuna. The angel has frozen time but explains he couldn’t do before Sara died because it was necessary for her to die for Alexiel to awaken. But the angel offers Setsuna hope: he has seven days to journey to hell and save his sister. At the end of seven days, He’ll die forever. In Hell, his old schoolmate and nemesis, Kato, guide Setsuna.

Meanwhile in heaven, the Supreme Council is in chaos. In the confusion, mad Rosiel claims power. The angel Sevonthtarte instructs another angel, Dobiel to spy on Rosiel, but his henchmen are devoured by Katan- Rosiel’s servant who died in the Tokyo blast and has been turned to a flesh eating ghoul. In Hades, Setsuna thinks he found Sara, but it’s just a demon in disguise, so his search continues.


Fair warning, if you’re reading Angel Sanctuary and if you have not reached the 5th volume… and you don’t like spoilers… please don’t read any further… >>’ you won’t be happy…

So much awesome stuff happened.

Zomg. Kato Yue. I love him. For the most part, we didn’t even know Kato’s first name. Up until now, all we knew about Kato was that he was some delinquent punk that hung out with Kira. Poor Kato… he needs huggles. He was born a bastard son, the product of an affair his mother had. His [non-bio] father named him ‘Yue’ hoping the name would give him bad luck. The husband also accused the mother of still seeing Kato’s bio-father… Sadly, one of Kato’s first memories his father beating his mother… then turning to him… knocking Kato out. Things were forever bitter between the father and Kato [I believe poor Kat-kun was beaten a lot more over the course of his life.]… The father was in the hospital dying… Kato was away getting high.

Kato also had an older sister, Sae. He hated her, because she called him by his first name and she was so vacant that she pretend that they were all one big happy family. There was on incident, Kato’s father came back from a business trip and brought his daughter back a lovely antique French music box. Innocently, [though Kato thought she meant it spitefully asked him if he brought anything for Kato, and he merely replies ‘Oh, I forgot about him’. Kato got upset and tried to attack his father, but he was only 8 - 10 so he was easily beaten. Later that night, he stole the music box and buried it in the yard.

Years went by, his sister was going to be married… At this point Kato had distanced himself greatly from all his family, and he learned he was a bastard. He dug up that old music box and snuck into his sister’s room to give it back to her. She was shocked and startled at him being in his room and she begged him to leave before their father showed up, Kato kept insisting that she needed to open the box. Kato’s monster of father barges in yelling… and we can see where this goes…

We see a scene later.. His sister is married now… she sits in a rocking chair… on the mantle is the broken music box, she patched it together, inside were ripped family photos… all taped together again…

Another character in the manga I fell in love with… Uriel [URI-URI!]

Uriel, the black-winged guardian of the Hell gate. An angel that controls all of the elements of Earth. Uriel is much kinder angel than you would think of one that rules of the hell-gate… er….. sorta… haha. Uriel hid himself in the Hell Gate… and made himself a mask to rule over his personality, a mask that forced him to act harsh, and violently, perfect for the damned souls. In his battle with Setsuna.. Setsuna broke it, freeing Uriel from the mask…somewhat, Uriel is FAR from mentally stable. He went kooky after Alexiel refused his love for her. In fact, Uriel has [or rather had] this power with his words alone, he could place a horrible curse on someone that would follow them… In fact… he was the one that condemned Alexiel to a tragic life one after another… because she didn’t love him in return. Guilty, Uriel slashed his own vocal cords, created his ‘executioner’s mask’ and hid himself at Hell Gate. Because he wore the mask for so long.. Uri-Uri has a bit of a ‘dual’ persona….

Comments (0) | Permalink

Friday, June 24, 2005

   Another entry of ranty-ness.
My victim this time? Cartoonpassion.com and their crappy service.

At around the same time, Kip and I ordered b-day presents for each other from the website. We thought we were getting a great deal. They had a good selection of stuff and the prices were reasonable. We both had the same stinkin’ problems with them. When you order online from them, and something is out of stock… they won’t tell you. They will sit there, hold your order, and not bother to contact you at all.

They were holding my order because one of the pencil boards I ordered was out of stock and they weren’t sure if it would ever come back in stock… So, it never occurred them to contact me and let me know? Yeah after all I would want to know that now would I? Considering they cashed my payment a month ago. I e-mailed them last week to see what the hold up was, but they never bothered to respond.

They have HORRIBLE service. I would suggest avoiding cartoon passion like the plague unless you happen to live in or around Tustin, CA. Then waltz right into the store by all means… just don’t ask them to put anything on back order for you… >>

Typos of Rage: 3!

Comments (0) | Permalink

Thursday, May 26, 2005

   I'd like to thank all the sporks and gnomes for coming out tonight.
So, I got my cap, gown and weirdo v-sash thingeh. … I look horrible. I look like the friggen Kool-Aid pitcher man. The cap and the gown itself are a nice…and hideous… shade of red…. Nice…. bright….crayon read. My tassel is ‘gold’ (it’s more yellow) and my weirdo v-neck-sash thing is also gold. I look so unbelievably stupid. Someone please shoot me. -_-‘

And guess what? It gets even worse. You should see this weirdo walk I have to do when I go down the auditorium aisle. It’s so embarrassing. I had to PRACTICE it today.

Nuku’s Super-suxx0rz lame graduation walk

Step 1: count four measures of rest (YES! THEY EXPECT ME TO COUNT RESTS!)

Step 2: Take one step forward

Step 3: Bring both of feet together

Step 4: Look like a butt

Step 5: Lather, rinse, repeat… baby.

Haha but my mom like the super awesome. She keeps thinking of this crazy stuff to do during the ceremony (I’m the only grad. So it’s not like we’ll screw up for another family) I told her I’d pay her a hundred bucks to yell out ‘Hey Kool-Aid!’ when I go to make my speech. I’d give her 50 if she made a sign. Then we plan to bring all of our lawn gnomes and stick them in the front pew along with a bunch of sporks stuck into TIERED floral foam (haha stadium seating) with faces painted on them, little Kool-Aid packet ‘robes’, signs/banners spork sized as well.

Now you see where I get my mental illness from. Haha.

What I have eaten in the past 5 hours since getting home.

8 slices of sandwhich meat

2 handfuls of crackers

4 cookies

A bowlful of crunchy taco rice corn thing with cheese I made for dinner.

A packet of peanut M&M's

A HALF-MELTED snickers.

I am a pig.

HAHA. I have horrible eating habits, infact eating likes this (not eating all for a day or half day, and eating far more necessary) is extremely normal for me. Self-control, what's that?

And now I'll think of small starving children in Africa, become guilt-ridden and stuff my pocket-change into the nearest charity jar.

Heh. I need to get myself under control, or I'll never be skinny enough for cosplay.

Whoosh!

Comments (0) | Permalink

Saturday, May 21, 2005

   Ready, set, CHEESE!
What happened Friday?

School: Boring. I have to retake that trig test. ARG! I hate it so much. For one thing, it’s not even the same curriculum that the school uses for all the other subjects. ACE (what we normally use) uses the mastery philosophy while Alpha Omega (evil evil evil trig) uses the circle philosophy…so that means I’ve lost out on a bunch the explanations for some the trig stuffy. On top of all that, My supervisor can’t even help me with any of it. >< Messed up if you ask me.

Band: ihatealmostallthestuffforthespringrecital. We have

‘New World Symphony’ Easy as cheese. We actually played this one two years ago. It has a lot of parts that sound like something from Jaws. Haha.

Beautiful Savior’: Meh. Okay. But I was angry that Mrs. Stuebe changed my part oh A WEEK BEFORE the concert. MEH!!! That just ticked me off bad. Actually, I feel stupid playing this song, because in reality, it’s a saxophone solo, and the other 5 of us are just his accompaniment. That makes me angry too, mostly because Mrs. Stuebe does show some OBVIOUS favoritism to Ian and Lauren Retter because they took private lessons from her. So, they’re always asked to do solos for concerts and play for special music in church. …what, I sound bitter? Naw…me? Never.

‘He Lives’: This one I hate the most. It’s absurd and difficult for me to play… I’m playing all these low notes, the lowest in my range that I hardly ever play so it’s a chore to remember both fingerings and trying to figure out which one I need to use when I have to play one of my many absurd amounts of sharps/flats.

Rustic Overture: Okay song. Not my favorite, I can play my part pretty well and such.

New Castle March: Eight note and rest combos of doom. It’s so difficult to keep my own rhythms straight because everyone else around me is playing something completely different…

The bright spot in Friday was it was mom’s birthday. She hearted all the presents. Especially the flowers, candy, beach jars and the earrings.

Today, I spent some time skimming my D&D manuals and reading the books Kip lent me. They’re really good books, and once I tell you folks what they are, I know someone will pop up and say that I’m lame for reading such a ‘juvenile’ book. Well it’s ‘young adult’ , so I’ll assume it’s directed to young-mid teens.. ((Kip’s, age, haha, she’s 3 years younger than me.)) But I digress, She let me read the last 2 books of Tamora Pierce’s Lioness Quartet and The Immortals. I’ve already read the first two.

The Lioness Quartet: At the age of ten, the twins Thom and Alanna being children of noble birth are required to go out from their homes and be trained… The first born noble sons traditionally head for the capital city to be become pages and one day a Knight of the Realm. Noble daughters are sent off to convents to learn womanly arts and healing magics if they’re Gifted or what not. Well the twins have other ideas. Thom is a horrible fighter and would rather head to the convent instead. (The Daughters of the Convent also take in young boys to teach them magic and what not before they shove them off to the priests) Alanna was the one who had more of a knack for the fighting arts. So, Alanna because Alan, chops her hair and sets off to be become a Knight.

The Immortals: A young girl Daine joins up with a horsemistress in the task of herding some ponies down south to a training camp. Daine has a secret though… she has ‘wild magic’ magic over animals. She can communicate with them, take their forms and heal them. But she’s intensely shy of her gift, because of what happened to her home. She was a bastard child, so already she’s an outsider in her village… there was an attack on her village, a group of bandits came down and killed/looted. Daine ran away with the family horse and was taken in by a pack of wolves, but because she as no control over her magic she lost herself completely and WAS a wolf (or a wolf-girl)…but she needs to learn control and increase her power because of the increasing amounts of attacks of Immortal creatures that were sealed away…

Also pulled up a bunch of wet carpet. We have a leak in our bathtub’s drain, so some of the water seeps out and puddles up in the dining room/hallway area. We’re having a plumber come out Wednesday to fix it and so today mom and I spent a good chunk of time ripping up the old carpet and stuff and shoving it into the truck to be hauled off.

Tomorrow. Mom says we can go see SW:III weee!

And I plan to go on my super crazy diet plan.

Comments (1) | Permalink

Tuesday, May 17, 2005

   Cheese Muffin!
Blah to school. I actually got in a much better mood when I got home though. Haha. AJ (my younger sister) beat me home today from school. When teh momz and I pulled up in the driveway her bus was sitting on the curb and they were waiting for us. The public High schools are already out for summer now, so they don't have that route anymore... etc etc etc. Put 6 and 34 together, you'll get the point.

AJ's such a happy little kid, auitism and all, very loving. ^^ 'Specially some kiddies with her disorder won't even let you touch them because they're hyper-senstitve to certain type of stimuli and such... but that's the thing with autism, there's so many different symptoms and what not...With AJ, we're lucky that's she's such a loving little kid. Spend 5 minutes with her and I dare you to stay in a bad mood. So I played with her a little bit and my moodiness went like 'POOF'.

And because I am like a super geek of doom... it looks like the odds of me going to an anime convention next year just went up. Kip actually convinced her grandparents to let her cosplay to one, and as Kip put it, 'I refused to go without you'. <3 *fluffy friendship denpa waves* but the chances are if I go with Kip, mom with let me go, as well. BUT... I MUST cosplay... or I'll shrivel up and die. haha. <3 you melodrama. I need suggestions, people!!! I want to have a super nice cossie... so I need to get start early

Here's what I was thinking... so far

A female verison of Otogi from Yu-Gi-Oh.

Nuku-Nuku from Cat-girl Nuku-Nuku ((Kitten's suggestion))

Kurai from Angel Sanctuary

A female verison of Yuhi from Ayashi no Ceres

A female verison of Ray from BeyBlade

A female Duo Maxwell

Finn Fish from Kamikaze Kaitou Jeanne, bandished angel style though. haha

A female verison of Dark or Krad (maybe even Satoshi?) from DNAngel.

I was also thinking as going as some random cat-girl.

EDIT: Like, oh my cheese, how could I forget... HANAJIMA from furuba! Tehe! That would be awesome!

Sadly, the only anime character I actually look like are Kasumi from Ranma 1/2 (when my hair is dry and braided, sometimes I looks like a skinny ponytail) and Shadi from YGO, after washing my hair and I have the towel swamii thing going on...

or... I could be super weird and go in a CATS costume. HAHA I would do that... start singing and dancing in the middle of the convention hall... XD 'Oh Jellicles can and Jellicles do!'

*stabs people at random* Well suggestions on what I should go as?

Two days 'till b-day-ness...
Ugh, I don't even think about the grad. countdown


AHAHA WHOOSH!!! HYPER!! CHEESE, LAWN GNOMES, MACAVITY!!!!

*inhales deeply* I swear I'm okay.... really, haha I am.

Just got back from Wal-Mart ((haha, how can you not love a place where you can buy your underwear, cookie dough, AND motor oil in one spot?)). Did Birthday shoppin' for maw-maw. AJ picked up her own birthday card for mom. So cute, it's Clifford the big red dog and he's like all fuzzy and everything. Mom'll love it. I bought her some new earrings, some makeup, some new pretty plants for the yard, socks 'n underpants, Dt. Pepsi and her favorite candy. I'm also making her this 'beach in a jar' kinda thing. I think I'll have enough sand, stones, and shells left over to make a spiffy candle holder for her too. I also plan to hand-sew some c00t little satchel bags from some left over mullberry potpuri and fabric/ribbons from mother's day. Awww... damn it. I forgot to buy her new body spray((warm vanilla sugar))! ^#$%#$%#%$@! Oh well, if she doesn't buy it for herself, I'll get it for her when I go to the mall with Kip.

AJ was really good, she went with me inside to do some shopping, so I bought her a pinwheel to spin around while we shopped and afterwards I had enough to buy her a super fluffy puppy plushie. I also bought myself some new mascara and cover-up ((haha, I needed it... BADLY)) also some new SUPER shiny... SUPER glittery lip gloss ((okay... I have like 50 million tubes of that crap))

I dun wanna go to school.

I want a 3 legged-puppy! haha.

Comments (0) | Permalink

Thursday, May 12, 2005

   B:ARG. Honestly, sometimes I can't stand myself.
...Let's see... I made a completely MORON of myself in band today. Gah. Let's see.. I have a recital in 2 weeks? And I don't AT ALL comfortable with ANY of them. PLUS, we have an larger program to perform than normal. Oh joy...

So, we played Rustic Overture. GAH GAH GAH!!! *slams head on the wall* I suck at playing the clarinet... tch. I should've quit... 7 years ago. So, at band 2 folks weren't there… (FYI there's a total of 6 people in 'band') bad enough Rebecca wasn't... which is bad for me because she's playing the bass clarinet PART (she just a plain clarinet player... but her MUSIC is the bass clarinet part)… and I'm on baritone (Again, same concept) so our parts are very similar... and when the only other person in the band is gone and everyone else plays something completely different; you're trying to concentrate on the piano... it's can be difficult because I want to suit my part to everyone else around me.. So today... I was never loud enough and couldn't keep in time.

I was just getting so frustrated with myself I started crying. God, I hate it when I cry... I cry far too easily, I'm such a crybaby. I hate it. So now, I'm embarrassed because I'm crying and trying to play at the same time. Paranoia kicks in then. I bet Ian an Lauren were rolling their eyes at him... I know they were probably thinking the same thing I am now, I'm a crybaby and that I suck eggs at the clarinet and that I should just quit now before I screw up the spring recital. Now, I'm frustrated because I can't stop crying... makes it even worse. Right then, I was just hoping for a ceiling light fixture to get loose and bash me on the head... I suck.

Whatever, so. I'm not going to the field trip tomorrow... I don't really want to go canoeing, again...and I have some work to do. I get nauseous just thinking about graduation... I'm so afraid I won't be done in time.... I don't want to make a speech. Just hand me a diploma and let's get over with okay? I know none of the normans wanna be there at it... they would only be there because they're parents said they should. I don't really know anyone in the church... So, what's the point? I'm just one person, why have a ceremony? there's no point.

blarg. Stress Stress Stress… I still need a verse/quote for my announcements… yuck.

I got really angry again this afternoon, seems my younger sister got into my room in the middle of the night and my tarot cards were temporarily misplaced… I think I have them all back now. However, gah, I feel bad for being mad at her because well, she’s autistic and doesn’t mean any harm when she messes with things.

One week 'til the big 18.
22 'til grad.

Comments (4) | Permalink