Friday, December 10, 2004

   ahhh!!!
i have my braces. and they are starting to hurt like hell. *resists clawing at mouth* i cannot stop smiling for some reason as well... OMG I AM BRAINWASHED!!!!!!!!! i will fight the man! fight him!! i am going to my dads today. so my mouth will hurt while i have 4 hours in the car. grrr....I WILL DRAW THE WHOOOLE WAY! and when i ask u guys questions, mind responding? dosent matter i am posting all my recent things for ya guys anyway! i dont care if they are on lined paper, i have gotten really good! amaki is still the best though. *bows to amaki* i will post a ch. in my story on fictionpress and a song i wrote. sky hates me. he dosnt want people to know about me! his friend! damn him! WHY THE HELL AM I SO NICE TO HIM?!?!?! gah! owwww *holds mouth*
Comments (0) | Permalink

Thursday, December 9, 2004

   crawl on me
sink into me
die for me
living dead girl
crawl on me
sink into me
die for me
living dead girl

blood on her skin
dripping with sin
do it again
living dead girl
blood on her skin
dripping with sin
do it again
living dead girl
this my friends is the one song that i can say i think TRULY describes me. not all of the song but my favorite part in this particular song. thank u *bow* i know u all agree
Comments (1) | Permalink

   GAH!!!
i just ate soooooooooo many carbs...... i think i am goin to puke. ohhhhhhhhh....and a meatball. and a bag o chips at lunch AND a snikers bar(to keep up on chocolate intake) and when i first woke up today a vitmin. i am REALLY going to puke. i wasnt gonna eat lunch except it was so nice, these people started DAN-YELL(FLAMEY-CHII) DONATIONS! hehe so i can eat, isnt that sweet? how can i say i cant eat cause ill get huge then....*sigh* I AM A SOFTY! gahhhhhh!*goes and attacks something...*
Comments (0) | Permalink

   *sigh HAPPILY*
i am soo good at drawing right now.....i wanna post them but you guys dont care id they are on lined paper? hehe, anyway, today wasnt as bad. my hair looked kinda good today acctully. my mom is still all worried about me. on monday we are going to get on pictures taken DURING SCHOOL!!!!!!!!!!!! grrrrrrrrrrrr..........anyway, these new pics are all about the lovley guys in my brain! i only have one more and i am not sure if he wants to BE drawn. i am done with MOST of my hw. i still gotta do stuff for rachel and study for a test. tomorrow i get my braces on....lucky me.... we got our tree. DAMNIT THIS IS BASED ON THE WINTER SOLSTICE! ENGLISH LEAVE MY HOLIDAYS ALONE!!!!!!!!!!!! gah...haunka(sp??) aint so bad though, dreidels,candles(a personal favorite tehehe), and of course LATKAS!!!(again sp?) MMMMMM.... sorry~! anyway, two good things about christmas THAT ARE STILL BASED ON MY RELIGION(wiccan)
1-mistle toe(plant of looooove)
2 eggnog..ok so this aint based on wicca BUT IT IS DAMN GOOD!!!!! *sigh* welp love peace and chicken grease to all.....for some reason i am allso VERY tired and my sister, i have to go to her concert but they dont even bother to come to mine...WHICH I LOOOOVE!!! hehe i just wanna go to bed though...not really listen to her crap singing. oh well. moms telling me to get off...better do that before she starts yelling...
Comments (1) | Permalink

Wednesday, December 8, 2004

   strong
i am strong. i know it. fuck it all. i need to leave though. i am gonna break soon. it was so hard not to hit her. i am so used to acting on impulse. its my nature. gah............... where r u jared?
Comments (0) | Permalink

   my attempt
my mom tried to get on my user. i wouldnt let her. she screamed and i said i wanted to talk to my pysicatrist. she said no. i told her this was against my 5th admendment rights. she screamed. i ran out w/o any shoes. i walked and decided that would go get my backpack then go to a neibors. call kaze and tell her to pick me up. rents caught me and i was rude. really rude. they shoved me into the car. yelled at me. i was silent the whole trip. more yelling and screaming. i was silent. acted all "nice" to katie when she said i couldnt go. then to my sisters. i was silent. i want to go away. i jut made a fake apology. i wanted to hide this diary and my bf.the gods know now that it is irrelivant. i want to cut. really bad. i wanna feel something. but all i feel is anger and saddness. but i cant scream and i cant cry, it shows weaknes. and i need to be strong. like hess. a warrior just like amaki and pudge. i am not an emo. i WILL NOT be an emo, b/c i am a punk. ill do w/e i fuckin want and have noregrets. i love u guys. *sigh*
"you turn off the tv and you SCREAM AT ME. i cannot wait to LEAVE THIS PLACE. i cannot wait till you GET OFF MY CASE. this house is not a home."
Comments (2) | Permalink

   anyway, sky is ok now. damn him for making me wory so..... anyway. i am addicted ot quizilla. i just cant get off it heheee! oh wait quote"i was high on life until i built up a tolerance" hehe soo...i made this thingy that kinda looks like a greeting...hmm...maybe i am getting betterz! oh my loving friends forced a bad of chips down my throught today. and i am eating an apple. but no more.....not that i am gonna get fat.......DAMN IT YOU WILL EAT! NO I WONT! YOU PROMISED! *sigh* ok....oo check it out, one o my all time favorite songs by bush(AWSOME BAND)
It must be your skin that I'm sinking in
It must be for real cuz now I can feel
And I didn't mind
It's not my time not my time to wonder why
Everything's goin' white
Everything's gray
Now you're here Now you're away
I don't want this
Remember that
I'll never forget where you're at

CHORUS
Don't let the days go by
Glycerine Glycerine

I'm never alone
I'm alone all the time
Are you at one, or do you lie
We live in a wheel where everyone steals
But when we rise it's like strawberry fields
I treated you bad, you bruised my face
Couldn't love you more you gotta beautiful taste

Chorus
Don't let the days go by
Glycerine Glycerine

Bad moon white again
Bad moon white again
As she falls around me
I needed you more when you wanted us less
could not kiss, just regress
It might just be clear simple and plain
Well that's just fine that's just one of my names
Don't let the days go bye......
Could've been easier on you you you
Glycerine, Glycerine, Glycerine, Glycerine
my favorite part is the end of the 2nd verse..... *sigh* i am extremly tired. but i am going to..... CHURCH GROUP~!!! omfg you say? but she is wican you add? we are talking about OUR flame right you might question. yes, i flame/delli/dan-yell AM going to a church function. why? b/c i want to. simple aint it? + free cookies(hahah! i just made a joke about wanting food! progress! lol sorry) i got two really high bs today. YES! hehe i such a smartass. welp off to take a nice,long,hott, steamy....(goes on rambling about shower)-flame
Comments (4) | Permalink

Tuesday, December 7, 2004

   ok
i am ok now, i am no longer anorexic or depessed. just. tired. *sigh* i love u jared...NONE OF YOU HEARD THAT! O.0
Comments (0) | Permalink

   ok
i am ok now, i am no longer anorexic or depessed. just. tired. *sigh* i love u jared...NONE OF YOU HEARD THAT! O.0
Comments (0) | Permalink

   ..
*sobs incessantly* he wont talk to me! i dont know whats wrong with him! omg he could kill himself! amaki call him! please! i cant! *still crying* not a good day today. except for drawing. let me know if you want to see a group pic as drawn by me. or me as a math cheerleader(complete with costume) and ill trnsfer them to white paper and then to amaki to post. oh shit i forgot *sob* SKYLOS!!! OMG! HE COULD KILL HIMSELF..~@!!!! WHERE IS MY MOPEAD? I DONT HAVE ONE!!???? HELP! SOMEONE GET ME TO SKY'S HOUSE! omg .....skyyyyy
Comments (0) | Permalink