Thursday, February 23, 2006

   sup peepoles!! im kinda not myself right now but i just wanted to post some stuff which dont really matter. first of all has anyone seen the adventchildren movie yet? i wish to know if its worth seeing (although anything FinalFantasy is worth seeing)how is it and if its good/fantastic/awesome as its hyped up to be. and on another more solumn note i am to busy for live >_<+ i have too much on my brain and i feel it is about to burst with gooey pink stuff if i dont get myself in control!!!>=O i have a painting to do for homework, fix my room (it just got painted a nice bloody red...i mean a light green color and i got new carpeting which is fleshy pulp..i mean silverish blue, my brother is going to drown on saturday....i mean he is going to be baptized. ^_^ yay for him, i hope his new him is better then the old one; maybe less sarcastic and bitter, that would be nice and lastly i had the most F'd up dream possible i woke up in tears, it was awful. =[ as is sung in cinderella "a dream is a wish your heart makes.." i just hope this dream will never see the light of day it will crush me and know that i will die inside forever and ever a living cold and hateful existance. i had a dream where i was waiting for him and he didnt show up so i went home to find that my friends were there with him and he was hitting on one of them. it was like he didnt even notice me at all...thery were laughing and having so much fun..like i was never there...ever...it was mute everything that happened in the dream was silent...i was so grief stricken i just cried and cried as i knelt on the floor..i woke up with tears that morning..i hope this is not the dream that comes true...i pray the bad-dream-eater monster gobbles it right up and never lets it out, ever. i know this dream will never come true, he loves me as much as i love him and then some...this will never invade my life. i wont let it.^_^
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Tuesday, February 14, 2006

hey everyone!!! hope your valentines day has been awesome ^_^ mine has been the best valentines day i have ever had XD. haha an in response to the comment that i received no i did not get married, yet. at the ripe age of 19 i dont think that i am mature enough to get married =P.

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Sunday, January 22, 2006

   hey, how is everyone doing..alright i hope. not much to say but hello. Friday i went to see Underworld with my boyfriend, and i have to say that that movie was an awesome sequel except for the sex and all everything turned out action packed =].wouldnt it be cool to have those glowing blue eyes!!! i think it would be awesome hahah. well it just so happens that i have a poem of some sort to put here, hope you all enjoyz it or hate it haha.

Phoenix

the crash and burn is never forever
take flight, advance from the mistakes
surge and conquer no matter, the times you have fallen
below the cinders the earth quakes

inside awakens an ember so long gone
a persistant drive to fly away
ascend from the soot to evolved wings
be whats inside the mirror, a virtuous ray

pick up and move on
a rarity amongst ashes
to rise again and make the choice
believe in second chances

titan of time give way to wonder
from the soil soar to the clouds on crimson wings
continuous cycle, scarlet thrush
keep going, never give up prodigy
aspire from your ground where life springs
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Thursday, December 29, 2005

i havent been updating because i have been busy with college finals and family. i cant help but say that so far life has been really good to me and i thank God for giving me such a great experience and i hope that it persists and continues to change and that i get to meet new faces and personalities. anywho i hope that everyone had a great christmas, mine was somewhat interesting ^_^. i just want to say thanks for everyone that visits here, eventhough its not much to look at...i appreciate it =]. and thanks for commenting in the past when i was crumbling, those helped me recover and grow much stronger =).its great to be alive =D
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Saturday, November 5, 2005

its been a while..every moment i live is placed in my heart of a thousand scars. over and over, again and again continuous bombardments of new feelings and cherished memories consume my heart and other half. i know that i will never be the same nor try and attempt to be the way i was before... all that has changed me has blemished me for the better. everyday goes by with worry and i cant help but let it flow, like blood in water it swirls and mixes to bring something new, something different. i wonder what situation the future will present me and anticipation sets in..i dont want to predict for i know that my thought will be cast out and disappointed. i love the mystery, it consumes me with wonder and amazment. there is nothing that i want more...a surprise for my eyes and my feelings overflow to meet the water that churns with my blood..

and old poem that was once true...
Hopeless

born into crimson and cold
cursed and customed to fit this world
memories start to take hold
my character revealed, childhood sold

an endless waltz of perpetual scar
youth accomplished yet completly marred
all are close and yet so far
undetermind future leads to internal war

what is there for me when i have no key
to the doors that are wide open
think it through the answers will come to you
but when that is i dont know
from tears strike my eyes crimson
as i wander into cold
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Tuesday, September 27, 2005

   i wish i wasnt so busy >.< school and all its keeping me busy sadly =[. i hope everyone is doing just swimmingly and making amends =]. i just want to say that after having a splended weekend with myboyfriend i have had a pretty antisocial childhood. last friday he took me out to "speedzone" its like a mini themepark somewhat. but they had minurature gold and these go-carts which was so fun!! ive never played mini gold in my whole and entire life!!! O_O" so it was an awesome experience. and since this was my first time on the green he decided to make things more fun by placing a bet. whoever wins receives a massage from the loser >.<" luckaly it was a tie XD im guessing it was beginners luck on my behalf which is cool :).but after that he forced me to go on the go-carts. i have this thing...im just terrirfied of cars and carts per se... but after a few laps around it got easier and FUN!!! =] and i ended up infront rather than tailing him =D. it was quite the interesting place. so when i have something to fear i know that i wont face it alone, he will always be there for me. and whatever i face..i face it head on..no turing back =].
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Monday, September 12, 2005

   things are just getting better and better. this weekend was awesome!!! last friday i went to the beach with a group of friend it was so memorable i will never forget it. i had so much fun. lots of unexpected moments but thats why i love them all. Phil (my boyfriend) picked me up after he got back from school and we picked up and left to the beach to meet everyone else. when we got there we dropped everything off with everyone else and he and i went straight to the ocean. i was building a sand castle and he was writting something in the sand that i didnt know until he told me that he was done. then i see PHIL (heart) LISA =]. hes so sweet. then we both made eachother a necklace out of seaweed. (which is kinda corny) but it was fun. =]. and on saturday we went out to eat with the same group that was weird...i bet everyone has a friend that is LOUD but doesnt know it. its hilaruious but somewhat embarrassing. well then after we had dinner we went to our old HS and watch some slides and movies of our last year together on a trip. it was great fun, lots of pictures and it was great to see old friends. i just wish things could stay the same...but eh..change is AWESOME!! =D

here is a section of meaningless typing thats somewhat confusing and intersting. tell me whatcha think. =]

...beads of life strung around my neck grow longer and longer as i pass
through moments and memories chained together by a single strand of light. they will forever be
not of mine when i leave but of everyones. the lives that shared their time with me. perhaps there is
a bead for you darkness and sadness. i do recall a past of sorrow and black. but it is through gladness
that i remember you. the pain that you have scared across my heart is still there. between the love i
feel and the memories embedded within.
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Wednesday, September 7, 2005

   i fixed up one of my old poems...tell me what you think =].

Affection Photo

take it, develope it
keep it safe with you
close to your heart
close to your soul
so that mine will be with yours
it doesn't need much
-just you

take it, develope it
keep it safe with you
alive and beating
it's just like breathing
only in your arms
happiness abounds me, all i need
-just you

of summer born, new
an affection photo of me and you
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Sunday, September 4, 2005

   its been a while i suppose...lately i have been busy as usual with school and boyfriend. last friday we went out to watch transporter2 it was a good movie lots of action which i love to watch. KABOOM!!'s and stuff like that =]. but yah kinda busy..papers to write and old friends to see. when we got back to my house we sat around for a bit on the couch when all of a sudden my dad puts in a movie. i didnt care much about the movie but it was the preview that it had that had drawn my attention. it was the preview for Advent Children!!! it looks soooooooooo awesome. i saw the preview before in japanese but this one was longer and in english. so cool!!! Phil (my boyfriend) said "omg!!! when that comes out im so buying it! and we will watch it together, you have to watch it with me!" i was so excited =]. i cant wait til it comes out but its been held off for some time now..im not sure of when it will appear. so as of now im playing the final fantasy 7 game just to get feedback of the past events of the characters. its quite exciting...may all be well..
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Monday, August 29, 2005

i dont have much to conclude from a same old same old day. except he is involved with my life now. my life is no longer one sided but now i see another view. one that i have not seen before. its good to see different views of life..different perspectives, ideas and opinions bottled up waiting to be found and broken open..life is vivid..sometimes too much to handle but as of now..life is a living book and one that i can easily read and see perfectly..yet..on the other hand it has deeply embedded secrets and truths that take time to uncover and reveal. and though you think that your day is full there is always something nagging you at the back of your mind to do one more thing that if you dont you will regret...or..there is a moral that you have passed up in which you should have learned in order to deal with a fault or stumble in life...so many paths..so many futures..its hard to chose where to go and why go...there are tons of things that i regret for not doing and some that i wish i hadnt done..but i cant change the past i can only perfect my future...
...school has brought this to my attention..now that i am a college girl i now stress and depress with papers and midterms...but i know that everyone goes through stress and depression..some more then others but the outcome will always be your choice..no matter what change is a part of life and though sometimes unwanted it benefits the future..decisions,decisions...
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