Saturday, July 2, 2005

   ive been held captive since the end of school and beginning of summer. so ive had time to think about things...lots of time..its funny, coming back to this computer...the keyboard is..dusty..i guess it has been a while. but..its good to be sorta back. im not totally myself just yet.


Your word is: Brooding. You are a true thinker and
often try to figure out the meaning of life,
why we are all here etc. You may not be so
social, and often think twice before acting but
those thoughts you have in your mind never stop
flowing in. Sometimes you can be so
concentrated you forget about other things that
you have to do. Don't change, this world needs
deep people.


What dark word represents you? (anime pics and 7 outcomes)
brought to you by Quizilla

Comments (0) | Permalink

Wednesday, June 1, 2005

at the moment im nervous because i sent a portfolio of my drawings to be check by my friends cousin to see if they..."qualify"...for insomniac...im scared...ive never done this before..i know for a fact that my art is not the most colorful and interesting...i hope they atleast get an okay and i need more practice.>_< so scurred..but other then that life has really evend out the rough edges and now my problems are kept to a bare minimum..and my neck hurts from a friend of mine who put me in a head lock..hope his butt doesnt hurt from me hitting it.



E:

Your Beauty lies
in Mystery. Captivating, mysterious and alone. You
are the girl in the little
black number that no one seems to know, the eternal
mystery girl. You make it a
point to never let anyone know more about you than
you want them to and do a
very good job of it. You're there one minute and
gone the next leaving them in
wonder of who you really are. A mature and normally
calm individual, quiet and
enjoy spending many hours of the day on your own,
most likely preferring night
to day . You love the dark and some may find you a
bit strange. You seem to be
rather distant and cold making hard for people to
get close to you, though you
probably like the distance they usually keep. You
probably wear make-up, but
concentrate more around your eyes than anything.
You know the effect you have
and enjoy keeping people in wonder.

Some Things
That Represent You:

Element:
Dark, Water Animal: Panther Color:
Black, Maroon, Dark
Tones Song: In The Shadows by The Rasmus
Expression:
Sly Smile

Gemstone:
Black Diamond Mythological Creature: Demon,
Vampire Planet: Venus
Hair Color: Black Eye Color:
Garnet

Quote:
"In the shadows for all time."

Where Does Your Beauty Lie? ..::Original Pictures Are Back! Detailed Results::..
brought to you by Quizilla

Comments (1) | Permalink

Sunday, May 29, 2005

   im feeling a bit under the weather...my head hurts as does my throat...but...my mission is accomplished being my cousins wedding shower. glad its over, its so stressful..
OH! i have just remembered...if u have ever wondered how i came across such a name as "FlawedPerfection" it all started a while back when i was playing Gunbound with toily (deltastrikeX friend) and he was helping me out to make up some supercool names..we stumbled across this one and it stays to this very day. =) thanx toily.


Your wise quote is: "Reality bites with a
variety of sizes of teeth"(-Tony Follari)
As a person, you think life is just plain
painful, horrible and everything else you don't
like. Happy people confuse you. Alot. I mean,
why are they so happy anyway? You are depressed
and perhaps utterly alone and live life rather
montone. You feel there is no reason to really
be here and feel helpless.


What wise quote fits you?(pics) UPDATED
brought to you by Quizilla

Comments (2) | Permalink

Friday, May 27, 2005

the year is coming to a close for me...im so sad =(. so many memories...ive written a poem for my "senior bio." about memories..hope its good.

--Remembrance--

-broaden horizons become visible as we chase the invisible dreams.
-we've created a past and now waits the product of future it seems.
-the net is broken from gained knowledge as we use it to fix our lives.
-our time to build steps and break walls we overcome and strive.
-as lunches were shared and tests taken, we became close.
-in meer minutes we became a class and in seconds friends arose.
-we have lived brand new lives and stained them with our friendship to last.
-facing the good times as well as the bad, our futures are cast.
-we separate and grow apart
-walking different designed ways
-creating our futures, step by step
-i will have thoughts of those days
-forever stained is my heart
-these years will remain kept
-in the tears we have wept
-all we have is remembrance....
Comments (2) | Permalink

Wednesday, May 25, 2005

   kinda bummed at the moment, friend lost money...rather sad..i go to a school that has no trustworthy kids within its walls...its like backstabbing...im just flooded with rage at this...its pathetic..all i can do is watch her cry..i cant think of anything that could help her out...
Comments (2) | Permalink

Monday, May 23, 2005

   today was a regular day...i suppose..i just feel extremly upset for i have no idea what reason it may be..wish i knew..all my feeling and emotions are pretty much scattered everywhere and when i pick them up i have this numb sensation so i dont know which i am picking up...i went off on one of my friends today but i dont know what came over me..i just wanted him to leave me alone eventhough he didnt do anything except just ask a simple question as to what is for homework. and i blew up in his face telling him to leave me alone..my cousin/teacher saw and asked him why he was bugging me, i walked away trying to collect my thoughts (whats wrong with me?)before the bell rang for lunch to be over i apologized for the way i acted and he was cool with it i felt so bad for doing that...its not like me..i cant believe i did that..God help me..
Comments (1) | Permalink

Sunday, May 22, 2005

   things are finally looking up, this weekend was a possible pivotal point for me and i would like to thank those that have left me comments through my time of teenager trama. Bryan your great thanx for cheering me up. aodtr666/poem buddy thanx for the comments helping me see the brighter side of what i have ignored most of my life. and Melfina lol thanx for just visiting.and everyone else that has taken the chance to visit. i think this is the start of something that i will reflect on for the rest of my life. for me...letting go and forgetting is the first step to a new life.

here is a poem that i wrote during this experience i think it needs a second half.

(no name yet)
-sad skys surround my sight
-my life looms lively with light
-annihilated alternative awakening, nothing asended
-eaten away, energetic embers ended
-anticipation and anguish hault
-and i am gone...
Comments (2) | Permalink

Saturday, May 21, 2005

everything is so...complicated..how is it possible to have fun and yet be a good sibling and child...its so hard..on one hand im having a good time with friends bowling and goofing off but then my mom is sad to see me go...and when i do help it goes unnoticed..and forgotten..then im left to blame...maybe im thinking too much..
Comments (2) | Permalink

Friday, May 20, 2005

   i can help but spill my guts out here...feels like it fits here in this box for most to see..i feel rather sheepish yet really pissed at everyone that i have made contact with Thursday...i cant say that its there fault i just think that the whole world is better off without me....it hurts to be anywhere now...im somewhat confused..my situation is extremly complicated and all i can do is dook it out with my parents and see what results..but in the end there is always one person hurt...i hate to see who that is..if its me..i dont care...
i feel so lost...yet caged...
Comments (3) | Permalink

Tuesday, May 17, 2005

   today was okay...tomorrow will be better and my future will be forgotten..ive got a poem.

-- Silent Deal --

pent up anger is hard to conceal
when silence is all that i long to feel

maybe i am confused, my emotions running wild
but an explosion is stirring from my meek and mild

the internal rage building inside
and now no longer i am able to bide

images of slaughter and red consume my mind
there is no other way to suppress this find

the thoughts fill my body with hot bloody pride
that must be let out to seek and not hide

so lets make a deal, i keep my sanity and you your voice
under such short notice, i think its a rather good choice

if you can please sit still and save your breath
be considerate of silence and prevention of your death

but if you feel the need to talk, yell or shout
let me help you by ripping your vocal cords out

--i wrote this during a quite annoying class. it helps to write things out..a 30min. poem...
Comments (0) | Permalink