Friday, April 22, 2005

   *sigh* the days go by so fast..i wish they would slow down just a tad..everything is going swimmingly..its kinda scary to see so much great things happen when im used to hurt..but deep down my mind is still mending scars of my dear beloved friends..
next week i will be gone im headed to the northern part of CA for some fun with friends..its gunna be great or so i think..i hope.. i wrote this poem yesterday...tell me whatcha thinks of it..

robotic-ly yours

genetically inhanced to improve this trance
with my eyes transfixed upon yours

you said i need to be fixed
with a pseudo smile
but i knew all the while
my parts would be matched and mixed

attached to wires, unable to leave
i hang in shame, as i am drained
of blood...then pain..and now..nothing remains
but an empty messanger, what good can this achieve?

i wake up to find a different mind
placed inside my head, instead of mine
i feel strange..not the same..
the feeling of change but in vain

and now i feel sick from the gears that tick
purged sight i see now in black and white
oil flows within..i feel no longer blood red
and from pools of steel, tears i cannot shed.

why did i do this...the scar to large to mend?
can you comprehend?
all i wanted was a friend...
but instead i'm used...over and over again...


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Monday, April 18, 2005

   THE PROM/BANQUET WAS GREAT!!! i loved it, it was awesome no....uber awesome!! my date...he was the sweetest guy..my first date to something like this and he was the best date EVER!!! i took so many pictures that night...i just might put one on here eventually but for now i just want to relish in what a great night it was...i cant help but smile...its hurting me..as for anime news...the FMA videogame is pretty cool...Oh and this movie called "SteamBoy" by the makers of "Akira"(thats an awesome movie)...i cant wait to see that movie...it looks action packed
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Friday, April 15, 2005

so far i am extremly nervous..i dont have much to say but the big day is in 2 days >.< kinda worried but at the same time excited...but on an anime note..i drew a picture..on fan art thing..dunno if u can see it but try to and tell me what u think of it..its kinda old like...last year but i still like it =P. and as for poems.. i have one i made 5minutes agoo..
tell me what u think of this one..

--fuel--

these things i feel, are they all real?
what good am i...as i slowly die

feelings of hurt are all intact
of friendly dents and stabs in the back

no matter to me if they can't see
the pain i feel, or the oil i bleed..

am i all but mechanic? or all but flesh?
as spiders build within me webs of mesh..

the strands of memories broken
as i begin to rust
happiness looms, never woken
i fear of commited trust

the gears within continue to turn
as i search a decient memory to burn

the pain is gone, no longer of use
i now run on nervousness and glee an audacious fuse

as pools of awarness open and close
just above a single nose..
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Wednesday, April 13, 2005

   well...its about time i put a little sumthin in here...it seems kinda lonesome.. as for excitement for today my "prom" date and i went to pick out his tie after his vball game it was pretty cool. WE WON!! nice guy...we have alot in common..im so nervous..i cant help it..my stomach is aching "like" butterflies..and my head is pounding..its a weird funny feeling..hope its nothing.. well i hope all is just peachy beyond the internet made up ones and zeros..as for me i will be counting the days that pass by..until..
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Monday, April 11, 2005

   it has been quite a bit since i have placed something of value one this site...i have been uber happy this whole week. Friday i "got married" it was for a class at school it wasnt a major thing to me but i thought it was off topic so i placed it here. great thing was i got to wear white, it was awesome. sad thing is my groom was shorter then me =/ but eh...hes a nice guy..the service was okay..it was a mass wedding so i didnt really pay attention..but thats pretty much it...i Finally got a dress for my "prom" its pretty...uh...pink.. and i just got back from a train trip it was awesome...
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Thursday, April 7, 2005

   im getting married tomorrow!!!
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Wednesday, April 6, 2005

   he invited me to a volleyball game...i dont think that means much but it was a great game eventhough our team lost. hes great at volleyball...never would have thought...i need new anime..any suggestions anyone?
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Monday, April 4, 2005

   everything is going SPECTACULAR!!! i love living!!! everything is going quite swimmingly~ im just uber violently HAPPY!!!! i cant think of the last time i have been this happy..last weekend was THE best weekend i have ever remembered..my brother is FINALLY no longer mad at me..scary thing is he actually "loves" me...thats RADICAL!!!XD. and to top that sunday was uber awesome. i went to my friends birthday party shes the coolest paying for my lunch and all i owe her biggie!then we went to see a movie..that was eh..but still awesome to hang out with great friends...then happieness struck when i least expected it...some one asked me out to the junior senior banquet (sorta like a prom type thing)my school was hosting some musical which in my opinion was a great preformance.. while my friends were setting up one of my guy friends comes and sits next to me and we started talking and he brings up the Jr.Sr.Banquet and straight up asks me out. i was suprised..it was akward..i said sure XD. why would i say no to one of the nicest dude ive ever known...i was smiling the WHOLE evening. i finally broke it to them "how cute!!" pretty much was all they said... i was sooo nervous and happy at the same time it gave me a headache =/...=D last weekend was awesome... great bro and a great guy. XD he also says im hot *makes grrr sound*.. which is what my bro and guy friends told me XD...life is grand =D
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Saturday, April 2, 2005

nothing much to say today...just busy pretty much..tomorrow is my friends birthday i wish her the best. all i need to do is clean my dungeon and then i can party with them...but its hard when there is two inhabitants within the chambers..as usual my brother is pissing me off...he sees me in the family as the same level as the house pet..i think he needs to cry somemore...
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Thursday, March 31, 2005

   i cant wait to see pictures from the cruise that i went on. im too giddy~ sadly i didnt take any pictures but my friends with their digital cameras did. so eventually they WILL send them to me. i wonder how they look...well i must relax and wait for the time being..relax my arms for bowling..YESH!!
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