Tuesday, May 31, 2005

   NEWS HOUR 2: This time, It's Personal!
Hola, me amigos! If I may quote Super Mario, "It's a-me!" Yes, your old buddy Flint's back from another "Hiatus", and I'm ready to do whatever it is I usually do in these things. Like I remember.

I could explain where I've been in a long-winded sob post, about how Flints gunned down my parents in a dark alley, and how my Uncle Ben was shot by that very same Flint, so I took up the mantel of Flint, because Villians are a cowardly and Superstitious lot. But I won't. 'Cause I don't feel like it. So, instead, I'm doing the News, because I haven't done it in months.

NEWS TIME, BAY-BEE! Hello viewing audience, this is the news. My name is Flint, and I'll be your anchor this evening. Religion is a "Hot-Button" topic these days, I'm assuming. I don't know. I haven't been around in months. Anyway, I decided to speak to Jesus Christ and ask him the BURNING QUESTIONS you've been asking. Roll it!

FLINT: Hello, viewing audience. I'm Flint Marco, and joining me today is Jesus Christ. Good evening, Jesus.

JESUS: 'Sup.

FLINT: So, how's everything?

JESUS: Good as gold, baby. Did you catch my movie?

FLINT:..."the Passion"? With all due respect, that came out, like, last year.

JESUS: Yeah, an' it was awesome. You see the part wit' Judas an' dat dead friggin' goat? CLASSIC, man!

FLINT: Sir, I'd like to ask you a few questions.

JESUS: Shoot.

FLINT: How do you feel about the factioning of religion?

JESUS: Da factioning of what?

FLINT: Religion.

JESUS: "Wit all due respect" PLUCK Religion! You think I ever see a dime o' dat collection money? Huh?!

FLINT: What?

JESUS: An' annuder thing! What's up wit' th' watered-down wine they serve up?! How'm I supposed ta get hammered on water an' bread?!

FLINT: ....you're not jesus, are you?

JESUS: ...Nah. Nah. I'm not.

FLINT: This interview is over.

JESUS: WAIT! I got somethin' you wanna know!

FLINT: What, good sir, could you posibly tell me that is of any interest to the viewing audience?

JESUS: ...Batman is Bruce Wayne.

FLINT: LIAR!

JESUS: Superman is Clark Kent!

FLINT: Clark Kent? Hah! Lies, of course!

JESUS: Yoda's living on
Dagobah these days!

FLINT: Dagobah?!... I gotta go! X-WING! TO ME!

There you have it. Another succesful interview, by successful interviewer, Flint. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go see Yoda about some Jedi Training.

By the way ,this is a little late, if you haven't checked out SG's "Nougat:Origin" story, do so now. It's is most fierce and awesome.

I'm off to another 7-month hiatus! Have fun now!

-Flint
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