Tuesday, July 24, 2007

Since no one listens i guess i can say whatever i want!!! (this is my best work yet i think)
Cross me out, erase it, take it
Leave me alone
You never where my only home
I hope you send it, scream it to them
I couldn't care, you weren't my only friend
So you wanna see the real me?
Honey i've been standing here waiting for you to see!
You didn't forge me, I got there on my own
Selfish little darling thinks i'm alone
When you look at me you see nothing
I'm emptiness in black
A pandoras box you can't get back
Clouds of white come to you
Telling you your reasons they aren't true!
What you said were lines torn from a script
A line used over and over like a cd thats been skipped
Like a child with fingers in her ears
I tell you I don't want to hear!
I'm the girl who you dream at night
Dancing in the meadows of eternal light
China roses black and blue
Bruises and cuts that came from you
Not physically you see
But emotionally you destroyed me
Pieces scattered everywhere
From Tokyo, Budhapest, and Bel Air
Absorb me earth, the only friend of mine
A flower i will grow until the end of time
Dripping fire blue, red, and gold
Molten colors everywhere, I'll sing them stories of old
Fireworks over a thousand years and pictures too
I'll be the moon, sun and earth and who are you?
Identity, identity your only just another
I'm the friend of all and your no brother
I'm Aries of the stars and the the moutains of Mars
But just what can you say about who you are?


I think i'll call this one aries or china rose. I think it's my best work yet. the beginning is still a little rough but it puts exactly how i feel in words. writing this has really given me a sense of who i am and who i aspire to be. and for those of you who already know, you know i've been trying to do that for a long time. please comment on it! i know i've asked that before but this time i really mean it! I love this poem it really speaks to me (besides the fact i wrote it...) i really have a picture in my head about the end...in fact i might have to include some of this in my now long book, Magnolia. And you all know i've been working on this for a while. Well theres the end of my rant or speach rather. So i leave you with this:
"A true friend is not one that will stand by you because of weakness or duty. A true friend will stand by you because of unconditional love. Not love in the sense of a spouse, but a genuine love for the other person. I only surround myself with those such friends."-...ME (Yeah...uh profound moment i guess)
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Monday, July 23, 2007

Who I Am
I remember,
Stormy weather,
The way the sky looks when it's cold
And you were with me,
Content with walking,
So unaware of the world

Please don't drive me home tonight,
'Cause I don't want to feel alone,
Please don't drive me home tonight
'Cause I don't wanna go

Tuesday morning,
In the dark
I was finding out,
Who you are… oh

I took your picture,
While you were sleeping,
Then I paced around the room
If I had known then,
That, these things happen,
Would they have happened with you? Ho ohh

Please don't drive me home tonight,
'Cause I don't want to feel alone,
Please don't drive me home tonight
'Cause I don't wanna go

Tuesday morning,
In the dark
I was finding out,
Who I was…

And if you turned around to see me,
And I was gone… oh oo woo
Should have looked outside your window
'Cause the sun was coming up… ho oo woo
The sun was coming up… oh ho oo woo, ho

Please don't drive me home tonight,
'Cause I don't want to feel alone,
Tuesday morning,
In the dark
We were finding out,
Who we are

Tuesday morning,
In the dark… oh, oh
We were finding out,
Who we are, who we are… ho woo oo oh… ho woo oo oh
Who we are, who we are… ho, woo oo oh
Who we are

"Tuesday Morning"-Michelle Branch
Sad mood...but this song means so much. i have it on repeat.

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Sunday, July 22, 2007

Poemness! Again! please comment!
If you couldn't see
then you couldn't know
how everything seems to be falling
Don't you understand
I have to be who i am
Even now i'm still amazed
How you could just throw it all away
And still i try not to forget
Why i do it all again
Just to be misused again
I'm confused
With every single word that comes from you
I Try!
Oh how i try
To be just like you had wanted me
But it didn't feel right
No it didn't feel good
to be living with their expectations
To be like everyone of those others you adore
i don't want to be another
I don't know exactly where i stand or who i am
But without this frustration
Just maybe
I can find it
I can't be you
Nor do i ever want to
But somehow the reason i know
Is because your just on for show
I'm not a fake
I'm so real
I can be broken
But i won't
No i won't
I won't be broken
I can't be broken by you anymore

-"Refusal" by...ME! Ashaliegh Sophia

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Saturday, July 21, 2007

And she finally wakes up!...at 2 in the after noon...damn jet lag!
I'm so happy to be home! Hawaii was a great experience but after a week its exausting and i missed my doggie. I've started to read Howls Moving Castle the novel finally! I've had it for like a year and i never got around to reading it. Well...not much else besides boredom and exaustion so...i'll write you guys a poem! (You guys are probably going "Dear God that woman never shuts up")But my site so nah!

I can't open my tired eyes again
They will show me its soon to be the end
What went so long ago
Seems to follow me so
I'll try to sleep so more
But the waves keep pounding me like i'm on the shore
Salt and sand with freezing wind
Water by the thousands pulling me in
Tide to come in and take me out
And all this time i thought it was my drought
Everything is falling
Under broken water i'm spinning
My eyes still closed
Where i am no one knows
I need no more oxygen
I breathe in the ocean
I'm pulled into your sea
No one will let you forget me

-Uhhh it kinda sucks but i'm tired so yeah...i dont feel like naming it. you guys can if you want to. ttfn.
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Friday, July 20, 2007

Guess whose back and you should tell a friend!! (Just lose it is stuck in my head)
So hawaii is all people say and so very much more. i'll start with a list of things i did:
1)ATVing at the Kualoa Ranch (where they filmed lost, godzilla, 50 first dates, windtalkers, you me and dupree, jurassic park, and ect..)
2)Snorkeling (I saw the most amazing coral and fish...then i got the worst sunburn of my life and spent the rest of the day with ice strapped to my back)
3)Ate at Romy's (really famous shrimp truck)
4)Ate at Motosumotos (The freaking best shaved ice in the world)
5)Swam in Waikiki (My first time in the ocean)
6)Saw the USS Arizona, Missouri, and Bowfin (it took all my strength not to cry when i was at the memorial and saw the wall with the names)
7)Went on a submarine dive (85 feet down...very deep)
8)Went to the Aloha bowl flea market (the best deals for the coolest stuff)
9)Went to the Polynesian Cultural Center (the most amazing experience i've had in my life...i wish i was from Aotearoa...they rock my socks!!...Tonga is cool too)
10)Lai'i Luau (hawaiian food is truly wonderful especially the taro bread)
11)Saw live free or die hard (not hawaiian at all but a good movie)
So yeah thats all i can remember after being awake for 30 hours straight...the flight i had left honolulu at 11 pm and got back aroung 7 am. this lady behind me had a baby that cried and kicked my seat all night long...i'm a little irritable right now and i want to see harry potter...maybe abby will take me...or roxie! but i'm scared of roxie on the streets driving...i luv ya hun but ya know what i mean...you feel the same about me! i got EVERYONE gifts and when i give them to you all i hope you like them. well off to get some much needed sleep! Aloha!
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Wednesday, July 11, 2007

Last post before i go on vacation!!
very busy...lots to pack, lots to do. not much time. hasta luego mis amigos! until i return, but if i dont em you can have my guitar and all my books! jk jk...i just dont wanna fly over water!!! but yeah laters to you all!
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Tuesday, July 10, 2007

Hey Hey Anako Wa Amaichi!...i hope i spelled that right...
"So should i bring the barbeque sauce?"
"For what?"
"The pizza."
"In Italy they would shoot you for that."
"Well this is America where we unappoligetically bastardize everyfood we can."
"Fine. Bring on the imperialistic condiments."

God i love that quote. Its from gilmore girls.
It never fails to make me smile.
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   Packing...blah...
My day so far: Dog peed on the carpet and i cleaned it up, had little to no sleep even after taking Melatonin, What little sleep i had between four and five in the morning was plagued by nightmares and waking up with a pillow over my head so i couldn't breathe (my fault but hey i wasn't conscious), no food in fridge so basically i'm starving, and hey at least i got a couple comments on my site today! Ummm..bright side...thinking...oh yeah...Hawaii...6 hour flight over the ocean...kinda scary but for the beach i will prevail! Okay i am seriously tired. Need coffee and loud music. must organize clothes for trip!!!...but too tired to do anything but type and thats starting to get harder. Okay...i started work on sophi and milo again. and i've been writing lots of poetry too.
Well...thats all for now!!
"I'm not denying
My sorry eyes can see
The way you fight shy of almost everything
Woah if you give up you'll get what you deserve"
-Paramore
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Monday, July 9, 2007

For A Pessimist I'm Pretty Optimistic by Paramore ....And my day!
"Just talk yourself up and tear youself down
You fixed your wooden wall now find a way around
Woah, Whats the problem? You got alota nerve
So what did you think i would say
That you can't runaway, that you can't runaway.(x2)
You wouldn't
I never wanted to say this
You never wanted to say
I put my faith in you, so much faith
And then you just threw it away."

LOl i love that song. The lyrics are amazing. They've got some talent. Haha...listening to rest of the song. So yeah not much here except me and abby might go see a movie and then go out to eat. She called like a week ago and asked me and i haven't heard from her since so hence the maybe. Today i'm gonna call em and roxi and ask them if they seriously want to start a band with me this time. i'm working on playing the guitar and roxie plays the piano...we just need em to find an instrument...or she can sing but i've never actually heard her sing. Everyone has heard me sing because i'm not exactly shy and i'm a total goof ball. It's not that pleasant but i can work on it. I've already come up with a couple name suggestions:
Nothing Matters (a little too emo)
the Cut up angels (kinda the title of a Used song but i didn't realize this till now)
The jacked up penguins (this one still makes me laugh)
Deception of Perception (A song title of mine)
Understanding Hayley (weird and random but i like it alot)
And last...Flood Area (emo yes but still cool you gotta admit)


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Sunday, July 8, 2007

three posts in one day...I KNOW...grr anger
Fine just sit and stare at me
but your the one whose lost something
i can't figure out why i do what i do
a self distructing habit that i call you
i'm a danger to myself and i know why
but my heart won't let me pass it by
i feel so dirty, attached, and bruised
sitting here taking it like some fool
if you won't listen then i won't speak
feeling you draw me in makes me weak
Sorry doesn't matter when you don't mean the word
But you never understood what you had heard
I'm not trying to yell at you
that message isn't quite true
I just want to know why you do what you do
do you hate me that much
or is it that you miss my touch
i can't tell so i'll let it go
it can be so hard when your feelings don't show
nevermind me i'm a broken record skipping
one sad lonely wish for you to be happy
if i'm insane to you now, i guess i've earned that
I won't say anymore of my final regrets
But before i leave this and you fumigate
let me say one thing, it's never too late
Now i'm done, finished my tirade
but i hope you get the message of love versus hate
I'm crazy at times, sure that i know
But i can wait for loves eternal glow
I'm not patient but i'll try to be
Something more to you, something more to me

-Something more by ashaliegh Hope you all like it.
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