Wednesday, June 20, 2007

Simple Observations By Ash and Em
So in our day and age there seems to be a little confusion as to what is "sexy" and what is...well..NOT. Even though it is hard to categorize with all the stereotypes and whatnot, there are just some universal "i am a buttweasel but will still be living in my parents basement when i'm 30" signs and (lack of) mannerisms. Now, this may seem a tad opinionated yet we have to suffer through high school and the male species so we have every right to this.
*there are some good guys out there but i havent met any of them yet....ash*
Lets start off with some not-so-*ahem*attractive characteristics:

-guys that are skinnier than me(almost size 4)
-guys who look in the mirror more so than looking at how rediculous they look in size 0 jeans. *seriously- if they are in danger of tearing at the ass seam DO NOT WEAR THEM.em*
-guys who flirt even when they have a girlfriend*especially the ones who claim "oh shes just an old friend from school" * *and/or the ones who have a kid...dont ask.-em*
-guys who burn through hair gel and mascara faster than me.
-guys who think showing off like an idiot is going to get them chicks*seriously this makes me think "uh...dumbass"-ash* *but ti is really cute when they attempt to show off and..uh..FAIL.-em*
-guys who think they know EVERYTHING and the patronize you because of it.
-guys who wont stand up to their friends if they snub his girlfriend. *RAHHHHH..i know this too well!!!-ash*
-some lies are cute but the big ones- like the 2nd girlfriend...ya...not so good.
-guys who are afraid to say what they feel to your face but will openly post it to the world on a blog. *....-ash*
-email is NOT a source of valid communication when your dating some one. *it helps to have a face-to-face conversation instead of one consisting of smiley faces and computer jargin in place of real words.-em*
-when guys say they want to be friends they never really mean it cuz odds are they are already onto their next catch of the day. *ha, sounds like fish.-em*

And now a list of what makes us think ALL guys are not dweebs.

-when they talk to you first and make the first move instead of you having to do every damn thing in the relationship...em doesnt agree with me but hey i have experience in this matter.
-when they find that nice fragile line between rude and honest. for example- expresing feelings but not blurting out EVERY little thing that comes to mind when a girls gets dressed up for a date. *this can be a tramatic experiance...for both parties...pervertedness is only cute when its funny*
-it IS attractive and charming when a guys VOLUNTARILY opens a door for you...not just becuase your parents are right there or because it is physically impossible for his date to do so.
-tatoos are neither masculane or feminine. *they are awesome on anyone who wears them with dignity and NOT just because they got drunk the night before.-em*
-it is also neither attractive or stupid to have a motorcycle...it shows that you have an intrest and like a little danger....and gas isnt as high!*however, if your riding around in a chinsy little yamaha that your mother bought you because she pittied you...then-NO. get a job and move out of their basement you lazy ass.-em*
-reading is sexy!*especially when you UNDERSTAND the words in front of you. *speaking with more than 2 syllables in each sentence is also a nice attribute...in any language.-em*

epilogue-
(Em's)
So-reader- at this point you are either laughing...or callin your lawyer to take us to court. well, in that case, grow a backbone. Moving on, this is in no way sexist or discriminatory, like we said, they are observations and true accounts and experiances. we wish you good luck and you may take this as an educational lesson...minus a lecture. In closing, i know it is incredibly hard to find that balance and conscience between right and asshole-ness, but thats just it. you werent born a moron so you'll always have room to change. cheers!

(ash's)
What she said...and i hope that many of you can learn from what we have experienced and took the time to share with you...trust me its hard to collaborate when two girls are strongly opinionated! ...this is in no way a diss or sexist...so learn from it!



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