Thursday, April 12, 2007

   Some poem type thing i TRIED to write earlier...
When I'm down and out like I was today,
I'm glad to know that you really do care.
While I wept, then sulked, and bitched at you,
You were tolerant, and you held me close.
I wanted to grasp back, but I was nervous cuz,
I didn't want you to feel awkward or strange.
I just wanna fall into your grasp,
And change what I felt to pure blankness.
I'm glad to know that you're not afraid,
To give me just a simple hug.
Since for quite a time, you wouldn't even,
Touch me, or hold my hand like you once did.
I know you're not trying to single me out,
But it's just that this pain is killing me.
When you hugged me today, when I was so upset,
Everything seemed so much easier.
Though it may not have looked it,
I enjoyed every moment of that.
Remember when I said I wanted something I can't have?
Well that's it. I saw it today and thought of you.
I thought, "Why can't I have that? Why can't I have someone who would love me for who I am?"
As I looked at that cute couple that I unusually sat and stared at in jealousy.
I'm thanking you for that moment though,
Cuz it was the highlight of my day.
I still want something that I'm not gonna give up on,
That something is you, so give me a chance.
I know that it's not me you want,
But damnit, I love you, isn't that enough?
That's all you need to know, honest, it is,
You'd come to like me too, maybe even love.
When you love someone, you know it,
But when you're IN love with someone, everybody else does.
You don't know how literally that is with me.
You keep saying you know me, but it's all just a hoax,
I just wanna be held, I wanna be loved.
I see you're not ready,
Take it one step at a time.
But take me seriously,
Let me be yours.
Forever.
And.
Ever.
I love you.
And that's all that matters.
Give me a chance.
This isn't love at first sight.
But it IS love.
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Wednesday, April 11, 2007

Wassup ppl? Like what I did w/the place? ^^ lol I was bored, and i havent posted in a while. Ya, sorry bout that. I haven't updated much. Soooo...instead of me talking and blathering on, how about u comment and tell me bout ur day? i dont get around too often to see u guys,so um..ima work on that..^^

~fmafreak1313666
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Saturday, April 7, 2007

This Week's Poll Results...
Well, since nobody was here to vote all week, I had the kids in my classes vote...and here are the results...(hopefully this week's will get more publicity on TheO...)

Best Female Singer

Annie Lennox...5%
Fergie...5%
Pink...5%
Leigh Nash...10%
Natalie Horler...10%
Avril Lavigne...14%
Amy Lee...19%

And the winner is...

Melanie Wills...32%
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Friday, March 30, 2007

This Week's Poll Results...
Hottest Anime Guy

Tuxedo Mask...0%
Cain...0%
Ichigo...11%
Sesshomaurou...11%
Sasuke...33%

AND THE WINNER IS....

EDWARD ELRIC WITH 45%!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

WOOT WOOT!!!

I LUV U ED!!!!
LOL...

the new poll is in my profile...yes, if u wanna vote in the polls, they are now in my profile...have fun!!! oh ya, and if u have ne ideas 4 new polls, tell me...i want to have a few new ones 4 the next couple weeks and im gonna do them all now....^^
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Wednesday, March 28, 2007

   Out of Random I Suppose
Take this pain away and try to imagine the idea that I still love you. I would rather die a thousand deaths than to see you with her. And the best part is, I won't regret anything.

I hate being so damn depressed over you, yet I smile whenever you're around. I'll think of you night and day, but it's not changing anything. If I cry for you, you're not gonna see my tears anyway.

I'm gonna let my mascara run off all over my face before I get to school. I'm gonna turn around in class and ask what the hell you want again. And I'm gonna smile and say I'm only fuckin with your head.

When the school day ends, I'm gonna roam those empty hallways, in my mind thinking about you. I'm always going to wonder if you're thinking about me, or if I simply cross your mind at most. And I'll slam my fists off of the floor and bash my head off the lockers near and scream, "Why did it have to be you?!" over and over until my head starts to bleed. Maybe that'll help a little bit.

As I'm walking home, I'm gonna just nearly get hit by a car again. These people must be getting pretty pissed that this happens every day. But I'll be listenin to my iPod, blasting "This Kiss" and wondering why I couldn't have the story book ending romance I always dreamed of with you. Why did Snow White have to make it look so simple?

I'll walk in the door, and throw my books at the wall. Storm up the steps and into my room as if I was scared or pissed off again. I'm gonna dig
out all the papers I've been hiding from myself to keep me from crying all over them and making all the pencil smear. Sarah's gonna flip if she finds out.

Eventually my parents will call me downstairs for dinner and I'll be forced into eating a "family dinner." I'll keep my silence, since the last thing I need is for them to bring you up. No, we don't want that to happen, now do we? I don't want Daddy kickin ur ass for calling late again.

When I finally get back upstairs, I'm gonna call you and ask what was for homework. I really just want to ask you to the movies that Friday night. Instead I sit and bite my tongue, since you're always leaving me on edge your delayed reactions. I'll never be sure if your thinking of a responce or excuse to go or a nice way of saying no. That's what I always get, don't I always?

So at the end of the night, when I go to sleep, I'll think of you, no doubt. I'm gonna put even more stains on my pillow from all the crying I do. I'll wonder why we can't be together, or why I love you so much. Love at first sight isn't that believable.

And I'm gonna fall asleep in your, as you would say it, "irresistable," grasp. Damn that's gonna hurt.

No. I guess you can't help it I want you, now can you. 'Cause you're just too damn irresistable I guess.

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Saturday, March 24, 2007

need/would like to know what to do...
ok...the guy i like is my best friend. which makes this so so much harder. well, ive been trying to find out who he likes. i cant persuade him as easily as i usually can tho. he keeps tellin me, "caryn, when the time is right i'll tell u..." well ive been gettin that for a while now. i was really miserable today, and what made it even worse was cuz it was over him. i wanna know who he likes becuz im scared that if he finally does get a g/f then she's gonna come in b/w us and im just really scared. i was relieved but the same time really pissed cuz he was on the fone w/me today and wouldnt let me hang up w/o havin him call me back 30 seconds l8r. i kept tellin him, "ur only hurtin urself by sitting here and dealing with me" cuz he hates it when im like the way i was and he said he felt really bad cuz i wouldnt tell him and he thought it was sumthin he did. and he just went and said, "well i dont care ur my best friend and that's what friends do theyre there for each other." i wanted to cry right there and i feel so pathetic but thats the first time in so long ive actually heard him say that to me. i was really upset after that. not at him, but w/myself, because i can nvr tell him nething. i really want to but just cant. hes my best friend, which makes it harder for me to love him the way i do cuz i dont want nething to happen b/w us if i make a wrong move, or i act 2 late. i'm just really scared and i dont know what to. can sum1 help me? plz? and whoever does comment and help me, or attempt to, i love u 2...lol...

o ya and if ur not too exhausted frum reading my long and lovely depression statement, dont forget to vote in this weeks poll...^_~
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Thursday, March 22, 2007

Results...
Here are the final results of this week's quiz...

Which Anime is Best?

Naruto...o% (HAHAHAHAHAHAHA)
FullMetal Alchemist...17%
Inuyasha...17%
Bleach...17%
Sailor Moon...17%

and the winner is.........

TRINITY BLOOD!!!!!....32%

I'm either gonna have the new quiz posted tonight or tomorrow...I havent decided yet...it would be nice if I had more voters though...o well...remember to vote!!!!!
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Monday, March 19, 2007

Okay...
Wellllll...I've come to a dumb conclusion that I'm gonna please request that you ppl that come here vote in my lovely poll..if by any chance I happen to post every so often, then I WILL say to vote...so save me some time...^_^ and i will be posting a new poll on friday, so please come back!!! lol...well have fun voting!!!

~fmafreak
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Sunday, March 18, 2007

Out of total Randomness...I wanna see how many ppl actually take the poll

Get your own Poll!



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Saturday, March 17, 2007

Tear me to Pieces
As the depression grows deeper
She asks herself this,
Is it worth all the pain
Are these tears gonna help.
Is this love gonna last
Since he's not listening
"He's just breaking your heart,"
"No! Damnit he's not!!"
As she hides in her closet
Cutting her wrists,
She's calling his cell phone
Crying to him.
He asks what's the matter
He's getting more scared,
Every breath that she takes
Every step he's misplaced.
She's slowly taking her life away
While he doesn't know how she felt,
Because she was waiting to see
If he'd really come back.
Was he really gonna help her
If he knew what she'd done,
If he could get there in time
To save her life.
To stop all the tears
To give back her life,
To show her his love
He's been hiding from her.

With one last kiss.
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