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Birthday
• 1993-04-27
Gender
• Female
Location
• tied up in his closet...i dont think u wanna know what comes next
Member Since
• 2007-02-07
Occupation
• being depressed...more like a hobby i suppose
Real Name
• Caryn

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• ur kidding, right?
Anime Fan Since
• like, forevurrrrrr
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• Fullmetal Alchemist, Inuyasha, and Trinity Blood
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• Not to commit suicide and not to get my ass kicked by a prep
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• singing and writing poetry
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• gimme a break, talents? yeah right




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myOtaku.com: fmafreak1313666


Wednesday, March 28, 2007

   Out of Random I Suppose
Take this pain away and try to imagine the idea that I still love you. I would rather die a thousand deaths than to see you with her. And the best part is, I won't regret anything.

I hate being so damn depressed over you, yet I smile whenever you're around. I'll think of you night and day, but it's not changing anything. If I cry for you, you're not gonna see my tears anyway.

I'm gonna let my mascara run off all over my face before I get to school. I'm gonna turn around in class and ask what the hell you want again. And I'm gonna smile and say I'm only fuckin with your head.

When the school day ends, I'm gonna roam those empty hallways, in my mind thinking about you. I'm always going to wonder if you're thinking about me, or if I simply cross your mind at most. And I'll slam my fists off of the floor and bash my head off the lockers near and scream, "Why did it have to be you?!" over and over until my head starts to bleed. Maybe that'll help a little bit.

As I'm walking home, I'm gonna just nearly get hit by a car again. These people must be getting pretty pissed that this happens every day. But I'll be listenin to my iPod, blasting "This Kiss" and wondering why I couldn't have the story book ending romance I always dreamed of with you. Why did Snow White have to make it look so simple?

I'll walk in the door, and throw my books at the wall. Storm up the steps and into my room as if I was scared or pissed off again. I'm gonna dig
out all the papers I've been hiding from myself to keep me from crying all over them and making all the pencil smear. Sarah's gonna flip if she finds out.

Eventually my parents will call me downstairs for dinner and I'll be forced into eating a "family dinner." I'll keep my silence, since the last thing I need is for them to bring you up. No, we don't want that to happen, now do we? I don't want Daddy kickin ur ass for calling late again.

When I finally get back upstairs, I'm gonna call you and ask what was for homework. I really just want to ask you to the movies that Friday night. Instead I sit and bite my tongue, since you're always leaving me on edge your delayed reactions. I'll never be sure if your thinking of a responce or excuse to go or a nice way of saying no. That's what I always get, don't I always?

So at the end of the night, when I go to sleep, I'll think of you, no doubt. I'm gonna put even more stains on my pillow from all the crying I do. I'll wonder why we can't be together, or why I love you so much. Love at first sight isn't that believable.

And I'm gonna fall asleep in your, as you would say it, "irresistable," grasp. Damn that's gonna hurt.

No. I guess you can't help it I want you, now can you. 'Cause you're just too damn irresistable I guess.
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