myOtaku.com
• Join Today!

My Pages
• Home
• Portfolio
• Guestbook
• Quiz Results

Contact Me

AIM
• ChaoFi
E-mail
• Click Here

Vitals

Birthday
• 1990-09-05
Gender
• Female
Location
• Under a rock with my hopes and dreams in the dusty grey of southern Arizona.
Member Since
• 2003-11-26
Occupation
• If you've already read the first part of this, then you can obviously see that I've no occupation.
Real Name
• I don't really consider that "vital" information.

Personal

Achievements
• ....
Anime Fan Since
• 1993
Favorite Anime
• D.N.Angel, Fruits Basket, InuYasha, Ruroni Kenshin and Yu Yu Hakusho.
Goals
• To be a nice and optimistic person without over doing it.
Hobbies
• Drawing anime
Talents
• Art, I'm not really that good at anything else.




Jump to User:

myOtaku.com: forlorn hope


Thursday, November 11, 2004

   I still havn't given them to her...
The gradesheets to my mother, that is. I'm just too afraid of her reaction. *sigh* Yeah, I'm always just too afraid. Every time I do something wrong, it's like that one wrong outways every good that I've done. And her reaction always makes it seem as if I can't do anything right. And in return I start to hate myself. I start asking myself, "Why can't you just make her happy? Why do I you always have to mess things up?" Whenever something takes a turn for the worse, it's almost always my fault. And I hate it. I can't stand it. It's even gotten so bad, that once, I wished I'd never even been born. Oh, and just so you know, I'm not suicidal. And I never will be. I'm against suicide, and besides, I'm too much of a coward to inflict any kind of physical pain upon myself. But the worst part of all this, is that I can't even talk about it with anyone. Why? Because I can't stand having to say "I need your help" to anyone. One time, I started balling at school and I couldn't even tell my friends what was wrong. I doubt I could even tell myself. I mean, I don't know exactly why it happened, it just did. I'm guessing it was from keeping my feelings all pent up inside.
It really is amazing that I'm actually telling you people all this. Considering the fact that I can't even tell my anti-drugs. So...Thanks for listening. And to my school friends: Sorry for making you wonder why the hell I was crying so much that my eyes went all blood-shot.

On a Canadian two dollar bill, the flag flying over the Parliament building is an American flag.
Comments (4)

« Home