Monday, October 25, 2004

leaving- final goodbye
Now, living seems more painful than dying..

Goodbye

And no! this is NOT a suicidle note! lolz
Its as good as that! I'm leaving myotaku and its as simple as that! Sorry- i know i should be staying longer, but theres just too much work to be done and i have no time and i know that if i DO stay-it will be distracting me- im pretty sure i'll be back on christmas- but most defanitly in the summer, but for now i just need to let it go- i AM working hard to my way from highschool to university and its turing out to be hard, but im COMPLETELY determined- i just have to let a few strings loose if you know what i mean.
if you wanna contact me my e-mail address is kutiegot_break@hotmail.com for those of you who dont know. Alright!Its been fun and i'll miss you all!
Love- natsuko//gonna miss you guys
p.s. if you can -- could you spread the word? thanks love u guys
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Friday, October 22, 2004

   Now, living seems more painful than dying..

Skipping/Nervous

Omg- im skipping last period class today completely becasue this guy named fatti and his 'boy' (friend) Charles asked me to go to the mall with them---im at the library now with fatti waiting for Charles to get his stuff from his locker. Im kind of nervous- its just because today my theoligan teacher wanted me to present my project-- grr im so stupid, but its way too late to go to class NOW! This- this is what boys do to me..Just get me into trouble..
Fatti says: hey calm down- i go through lots of bid (trouble) for you baby.
Natsuko: Yeah- well..Thats your OWN choice
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Saturday, October 16, 2004

Now, living seems more painful than dying..

Heres a little thing i thought about! come on! try it! plzzzz!!! :D

Underline the space on top of "is blind"

LOVE

IS BLIND.

Now underline the top of "is blind" and see whats there- hope you can understand my message here.

Jamie: I took this pic. lol he was pissed. Jeremy: lol this was taken last year @ skewl Left to right:Arnie,Phil,Jay,Amon,Matt. Kevin & Arian: lol there almost like twins.

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Friday, October 15, 2004

Hmmm..Done with the suicidle thingy!
Now, living seems more painful than dying..

Im through with that suicidle thingy

Yeah- i dont mind talking about it when its needed to be talked about, but right now i'd like to push that away.Yeah well, OH YEAH something just hit my head- maybe you guys dont care but YEPE i have 109 Gbookie sugns. Gotta go kkyez.

Im just putting this up bc/ ive had some requests- geez why do you ppl wanna see this ugly piece of shyt lol

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Thursday, October 14, 2004

Now, living seems more painful than dying..

Mood:(undiscribable)

So back to reality-Suicide

Okay i just wanted to talk about suicide- because lately on otaku there have been and ARE many members who are attempting it and going through the thinking process of it. I have to admit that I myself had once been in that situation, but i turned away for a few days of major thinking about me and my life. (sometimes taking a walk or going outside helps..maybe even drinking or whatever) But i figured to hold on to the saying "Theres someone for everyone"- although it seemed useless at the time- i knew i wasnt DEAD YET- so theres still a chance of me finding that special person- yeah i may sound like a hypacrite bc/ my whole theme is based on death and depression and sorrow...forsakenlove, but all together i know that one day i will die at any time- just not by my own hands.. PLEASE even at those time when you will feel absolutely without doubt hopeless- think again what life is worth- dont commit suicide bc/ if you strongly believe it will be much happier on the other side- then you are WRONG! If there is a god----there is evil.

 

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Wednesday, October 13, 2004

Please DONT DO IT!!!! Ancient Iruka
Now, living seems more painful than dying..

Okay guys...Seriously this IS serious- even if its not true....A guy i hardly know wants to KILL himself...but commiting suicide isnt the way..This is what i wrote in Guestbook and i hope he reads it bc/it means alot to me.
NOOOOOOO dont leave us Ikura keiko Nanaki ( if thats your name) it doesnt matter though- its all the same! I once wanted to end my life and that depression wandered in me for four years..please dont do it..I know it feels as if you really should.. but DONT! its not worth it...what lies on the other side may be even more painful than what is already going on on this side..I dont know what is happening with you in your life right now, but i do know that everyone doesnt have a perfect life! please reconsider- better yet- FORGET! realize the life you have can be turned around and start off new!!!! I myself always feel like that once in a while- as if my pain is coming back again..and you know what? sometimes it DOES! but i push it away- if the pain is too strong- it might never go away, but love is stronger!
****Feeling lost in this world of dread...Slowly falling...Feeling dead****
~Natsuko loves you~
I hope he realizes that life can be full of pain, but you dont have to die with it.

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Sunday, October 3, 2004

Cant.....Keep...Eyes..Ope-....*zzzz*
Now, living seems more painful than dying..

Well yeah- basically I've been up all day until the next. Its 1:14 right now and im not allowed to have any more coffee bc/ my eyes are starting to burn. Or maybe ive just been on the computer too long or something! Or SOMETHING! lol ive literally been on the WHOLE day- ate breakfast while on the computer- also lunch and diner. lol i think my eyes are going screwball lol i think i see flies all over the house- but thats impossible! this house practically anal clean like a hospital lol and mom would freak if she saw one fly.lol OMGOMGOMG!!! I know i dont usually watch other movies besides anime or japanese film- but i just finished watching the movie: MAN ON FIRE! it was the sadest movie ever! I practically cry in ALL movies..yes even the lion king lol...but this movie as so dramatically intense that i started to baul..lol i would still baul now just thinking of it..Well what else is there to say that isnt weird..well nothing. Ciaz
p.s. I'll be posting more pics of me and my friends later on..hey maybe even a pic of my room..but for now all i have is that ugly piece of shit down there. lol

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Saturday, October 2, 2004

Now, living seems more painful than dying..

 

Heres just a pic of me- finally my friend was able to put this on the internet. yikes theres more on her website- but i am NOT giving you it! haa aha haa very Embarrasing pics- i just stole this nice on eat least of me from her..Yeah IM UGLY ARENT I? lol

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New Feelings
Now, living seems more painful than dying..

 
My New Feelings-(Standing,Waiting)
 
Well, hi everyone. AS you can see- ive changed my site AGAIN! Yeah i know, but my feelings change all the time- and when they change- my site changes along with them too. I've started fresh AGAIN also, but as you can see i've dedicated this version of my site to my love No$. Seriosly- hes such a sweety- you guys should check out his fanart- he himself dedicated one of them to me...*blushes*
Here are just some pics to start off my new version.
 

This pic just describes my whole theme..(standing, waiting)

 

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