Sunday, May 23, 2004

   bleh ._.
wow dont i feel weird today.i onno why just feel stupid or something o.o;; I cant wait till schools over x_X though this year went by reaaaaally fast o_o;..AAAAAND I ish gettin really good at ddr o_O even though i ish still on light mode and can do some standerd u__u oh well..o.o everyones gotta start somewhere,ne? well,Im gonna stop rambling now XD

ja!
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Saturday, May 22, 2004

   Social Distortion
hm...well I guess today has been a good day so far lol.I got up at 6:15 to watch the dogs while my mom and dad brought shemp into the vet to get his blood gasses done.then when they got home,me and my mom went to the mall and I FINALLY bought DDR max2!! ^^ hehe.then we went to jewel and bought some black hair dye,came home,and dyed my hair black XP muaha.It looks really good.Cause of my naturally pale skin tone and green/grey/blue eyes <--they change alot x.x.but yeah it looks really good and I FINALLY HAVE DDR!!!!!! ^___^ hehehehehehe mesa hash had a good day..even though its only 3:30 and Im already tired XDDD

well ja ne!
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Tuesday, May 18, 2004

   hm...
Well I onno what to say really...^^;; I have a choir concert in two days and I have to stay after for dress rehersal tomarow till 6..no biggie though ^^ atleast I'll be singing,ne?
-smiles- well uhm..Im tired so yeah oyasumi ne e.e
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Sunday, May 16, 2004

   heh..Its been awhile...
Sorry for my long absence..lol..Guess I havent really had any motivation to write in my journal anymore....I dont know..Im just kinda bleh now -.-;


Ugh so anyway...I'm begining to feel like Yessi is pushing me and Mary aside...ever since she started dating Albert...which let me comment on...The night me and her went over to Julians house,I did nothing but sit in a corner,quiet while everyone was loud and crazy..blasting music,playing guitar,screaming,running around,dancing...I dont know..I guess I just didnt feel very comfterble..yessi and albert were all over each other (Albert is julians older brother) all night...and I caught them making out.lol ^^ I was happy for her...but at the same time i wasnt....cause...alberts bro,Julian...damn.....I've liked that kid since 7th grade......and I was so ready to get close to him and ask him out...I mean..I remember practically stalking the kid in eighth grade..and I was about to go for him till I found out....Yessi liked him too...and ugh I just didnt know what to do..cause yessi was my friend but....I wanted Julian so bad and...........I didnt want to hurt her..........so I backed off.....and............she was making out with his brother?!..wtf?! all the nights I cried to my mom,confused,not knowing what to do and deciding to give up someone who I wanted to be with so badly and SHE MAKES OUT WITH HIS BROTHER?!....ugh......Now Julian has a girlfriend and all that..albert and yessi are together and it just feels like shes been ditching me and Mary alot lately..I asked her if she wanted to do something on friday...you know..go to the mall,DDR...our normal routine..But no..she HAD to hang out Albert..this has nothing to do with jealousy..this is about breaking the code of friends...she offerd to take albert with us to the mall and I said no...sorry..I refuse to be the third wheel while those two make out and are all over each other..Ive already been through that once.I talked to Mary about it last night..she said she felt the same way I did......I mean....all Yessi talks about is albert..albert this,albert that......shes always complaining that she misses him....thats all she ever talks about..and I dont want to say anything to her about it cause shes my friend but...you NEVER put a guy infront of your friends..you know why?! because guys come and go..there are always going to be more guys out there to date and make out with.....even if you do like him alot...........Guys may come and go....but good friends dont.....Its not every day you make a friend thats going to stick by you no matter what....not every day you will find a friend who wont care about what you look like or anything stupid like that...its not everyday you find a true friend..and I hope yessi realizes that before its too late...

hn..well ja!
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Friday, May 7, 2004

   o.o;.....eh

...My guinea pig died...I knew he would..I saw it in his eyes last night..his name was Mario..he was 4 years and 3 months old...so..RIP Mario.

Other then that....today was ok..I had my hair temporarilly changed to black..Im gonna get it permanent soon n__n.hehehe! aaaanyways >>;;...i stayed home from school yesterday and today,cause of mario..I stayed home yesterday to take care of him cause he was really sick..and he passed this morning..before I got up v.v...so yeah I stayed home..I wanna go DDR tonight though ><..oh well...e.e; erm ja!

Vamp! You can call me femme-fatale.Woho, you're a
dangerous lady. You're dark and full of
riddles. Men can't resist that. Sometimes
you're moody and you can freak out very easy
but in general you are gentle... Fact: You're
the most mysterious girl ever!


What's your female appeal? ( with pics! )
brought to you by Quizilla


You are most likely to be the Vampire
Recluse!

The Recluse hides from others, and more
importantly, itself. Ashamed of what it is and
what it has become, the recluse feels varying
degrees of guilt over the thought of having to
feed off the living; usually the recluse has
become a vampire against its will, or if a
voluntary act, quickly grows to resent this
decision. Often the recluse's physical
appearance will lack the influence of the
vampire charm, instead being replaced in equal
by the alluring quality of its heart.
Ironically, the recluse is often times a very
powerful vampire, perhaps gaining power from
its own aversion, or perhaps because its
painful clutches to its lost humanity
strengthen it.

Dominant personality trait: Guilt

Dominant color: White

Fictional Vampire Examples: Louis ('Interview with
the Vampire'), D ('Vampire Hunter D:
Bloodlust')

Curious to see how you would fare as a creature of
the night? Come this way...


Vampire Classification Quiz (w/ Pics)
brought to you by Quizilla

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Sunday, April 25, 2004

   o-o
hmm....o.o........Im tired...e.e...Today is my mom and dads 23 year aniversery n__n.hehehe..their downstairs watchin TV together o.o'..okie anyway O____o;; I made a few avatars this morning..they suck but hey..they're muh first ones so yea >___> the one up there is my first one ^____^Well..Imma go play some games or something o_o;; so yea..ja!

You have an angry soul! Angry Souls arent always
angry, but they cannot easily forgive and hold
grudges. You probably often get in fights with
your friends and family, and its difficult for
you to understand. When someone makes a
mistake, you dont let go easily and hold on to
those memories. Your very stubborn and your
rage is known to everyone. Though you never
actually mean it, you can say mean things in a
fight and go over board. Many people are
sometimes intimidated by your anger. But you
have many redeeming qualities and those are
that you are quite intelligent and smart. You
would make a good businesswoman or lawyer
because you know how to prove your point. You
cherish the ones around you, and appreciate
life, even though you can complain or throw a
tantrum now and then. The good things is, you
keep your emotions very outspoken, and are
normally a very happy person because all your
rage is let on the outside. Anger is simply a
state, but you, yourself as a person, are
great.


What Kind of SOUL do you posses? (For Girls only) Incredible Anime Pictures!
brought to you by Quizilla

Lonliness dominates you. You can hide it well, but
its there, and your friends can see it. You
constantly feel alone, and need to do things to
fill your time. Your afraid to tell people
this, but sooner or later it gets out in a bad
way, and you think you screwed up everything.
And when you are in love is when you are sad
the most. (Please Vote)


What Emotion Dominates you?
brought to you by Quizilla

Your a Dark Angel...and hey, you probably knew it.
Dark angel are in truth, very malicious, but a
sign of one also is very sad. Dark Angel all
used to be pure angels, but something went very
wrong with their life. Either it was the
sudden, murder of a loved one, betrayl, or pure
torture to them, dark angels have commited
their life to Satan himself. They are silent,
and their wings are dark black feathers, or
blood red. Dark Angels appear when there is
someone dying, or a murder. If you see one, it
means the death of a loved one is expected.
Dark Angels cannot actually harm a human, but
they love to see the suffering of one.


What Kind of ANGEL are you? (For Girls only) This Quiz has amazingly Beautiful Pictures!
brought to you by Quizilla

You belong in the land of darkness, otherwise known
as one of the worlds in which I dwell. All here
is beauty inspired by tragedy and great sorrow.
Write or go through other creative outlets to
express the anguish you may be feeling, and
never let anyone tell you that you are just
being 'weepy' or full of 'teenage angst'(if
you're a teenager.If not, then they really
should be punished for calling you one. They
probably are trying to insult your
maturity...fools.)and always remain yourself,
dark and amazing. Never change.


Where do you belong?(ANIME IMAGES)
brought to you by Quizilla

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Friday, April 23, 2004

   .......
urgh...
Ok heres the deal..I wont be on very much anymore....my mom....shes really sick..and its getting worse everyday..and the doctor said she could die so yea...............................................I just want to spend as much time with her as I can...and help her get better.........................so If Im not online so much anymore..oh well...it's about time I realize who my real family was anyway...............................................................................................................
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Wednesday, April 21, 2004

   hmm havent updated in awhile
Yea..sorry if I uh.. havent updated in a few days..nothing to really talk about...and plus I have been busy.what to say?

Today we did the day of silence...even though it was cancled because of threats that the people participating would get jumped...we still did it and we all had ducktape on our mouths o.O;

Last night there was a tornado in my town...it took out hundreds of homes in the Cathedral district(neigborhood with many registerd historical homes in Joliet).Yea.....then they were recapping the 1991 tornado that hit Plainfield on the news...I live in plainfield..but not really.....its really confusing cause I go to plainfield schooling..and I have a plainfield address..but I live in the Joliet township o.O;....guess those farmer people dont wanna admit they got city folk livin in there town -.-..(there are three welcome to Joliet signs right in a row when u enter the town T___T...).....

Im getting sick...well..you knew that but I am getting even sicker x.X....my chest burns really bad and Im coughing alot..I also have a fever..i think its ironic a few days after I say "I wish I would just fall ill and die" I start getting sick x_X....
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Friday, April 16, 2004

   ....o.o....
so yea...what to say..I dont know..e.e...I went over to Julians house with yessi last night..it was fun.everyone was being crazy and stuff..I dont know I guess I just wasnt in the mood for crazyness....and plus I tend to be very silent around people im not comfterble with or that Im not used to being by.The entire night Albert(julians brother) and all the other guys kept telling my to loosen up e-e;; oops?...well..i dont know I guess I was just really heavy in thought..and I guess I had a sad look in my eyes? e.e; oh well -sighs-

I know many want to know what I did last night..because my screen name was appologizing for doing something I didnt want to do..then it was changed to just simply "dont talk to me" ...well......fine....I'll tell the truth ok? >.<

When i got home..i guess i was alittle upset...I was being excluded from the entire night...Yessi was getting all the attention from everyone..but I didnt care..I really didnt.I liked just being able to watch everyones smiles.not to mention yessi made out with Albert for like an hour straight on the blow up matress XDDD.I was very happy for her...it made me smile..of course the smile came after I mouthed the words "oh my god" and turned my head away from them.when i walked in the front door,my mother was asleep and my dad was on the computer....I went into a morbid stage..and sat in complete darkness in my room listening to my evanescence cd..I started to cry..for the first time in a while..and for no reason...I just sat there and cried..then.....something made me go look for my pins......and i found them..I dug them into my ankle....but of course didnt break the skin...but something made me abandon both my room and the pin..and go get a razor out of the bathroom...I did that...I didnt want to die or anything....I just wanted to see my blood...and......I placed the razor on my ankle again...pressed down hard..and pulled it up my ankle...I tore off a piece of skin..and it was bleeding..I watched my blood drip down both my ankle and my foot......it ...wouldnt stop bleeding...no matter how much i coverd it..I knew I had dug deep.....the blood just constantly flowed from the wound...i then placed the razor to my wrist....but before I did anything I heard my dad come out of the computer room....I put the razor down and walked into the room,and went on the computer......Derek was the only one I told.....about my cutting....Im sorry....please forgive me........
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Wednesday, April 14, 2004

   quizes n.n

Cutest little dragon master.

Find out what anime girl you are.



HAHAHAHA

Find out what anime character cliche you are.





Quiz Title
XDDDDDDDD >_>;



Psycho from Akira

Find out what anime villan you are.





Find out what anime series you belong in.
o.O;;;;;;

Thwack
What's Your Anime Power?
MUAHAHA IM THE THWACKING QUEEN BWUAHA >_>

Evil or not?
What character from a creepy anime are you?

What anime hue are you?



I'm just watching a bad dream I'd never wake up from.

Find out what anime bad boy you are.



Ooooo Shiney!

What Random Object From Ydoc Nameloc's Room Are You?


theOtaku.com: What Inuyasha Villain Are You?



cold.. or are you?

Find out what bishonen you are.
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