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myOtaku.com: Frozen Kokoro


Friday, June 18, 2004

   [¤|Trance Music Is Still Alive|¤]
hmmm What to say today..I really dont know lol ^^;;Nothings really happend lately..but..ugh..Somethings going to happen in a few days..

Chad moves on wednsday..I..really dont like bringing this subject up...but even so..its not going to make it any easier to give him up in five days...I've just tried to put a mental barrier up...I havent wanted to come to the conclusion that my best friend since I moved to this god forsaken town is leaving me..That makes two..Soon..Mary and Yessi are probley gonna leave me..thats always how it seems to work with me..everything I care for gets taken away from me..-sighs- I really dont want Chad to go..I love him so much...I was inlove with Chad for a while..even though I got over it...I...dont think he did...that damn boy has spilled his heart to me so much..and I pushed him away...why?..Chad was the first one I met out here...He was on this huge dirt hill behind my house (granted it was still a skeleton because it was being built) me and Chad have grown up together...our parents want us to get married...but thats just for selfish reasons..and sorry..but Chads just alittle too girly for me XDDDDDDD god knows how many times we've missed the bus because it takes him so long to get ready in the morning...

me: damnit Chad! It takes me ten minutes to get ready for school..>.< AHHH and you've been up for two hours!

lol..well..ugh..First Jasmine leaves..the one person who kept me sane through that whole ordeal with my family last year...now Chad....I barely have Mary..and I feel like Yessis drifting too..Im just really scared.....Im so scared to be alone..... I want someone to love me..whos..not going to leave me....But then again....its only what I want..maybe I NEED to be alone..-shrugs-...I guess i was just ment to stay that way.
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