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myOtaku.com: Frozen Kokoro


Wednesday, June 23, 2004

|¤Hope¤|
I woke up this morning just as I have the past fourteen years of my life,Wondering what life would have to offer today.Though I feared this day.Hated it if that.We go on living as though life means nothing to us.Like it's forced or something.Well...yeah life is forced.I mean, no one really gave you the choice to be born.But then again the choice WAS never really ours in the first place.In life we face pain and pleasure,triumph and disaster,love and hate.Yet some of us are blinded by the bad and have a hard time seeing the good.

I dreaded today for the simple fact that I would be alone.My best friend of seven years was leaving me today to move to California.Though I know it's not the end of our friendship,It broke my heart.I just can't stand the fact that I wont be able to walk across the street anymore.I can't stand the fact that Chad wont be there to hold me when I'm scared,Cry with me when I'm sad,Laugh with me when I'm happy. In my normal human nature I do wonder why God puts me through this.But the answer is simple.All living things must go through pain,for it is how we grow as people.We would know nothing if we spent our entire lives only seeing the good.But just the same,we would also know nothing if we saw only the bad.Life is a test and we must learn to balance both forces.Life is too short to be sad and depressed all the time.Every human being must also go through Change. Many fear that word and I did once too.In fact,I still do.Though change can be a tough and painful process, The outcome is beautiful.

I honestly don't know how to carry on the same life I have been living without Chad here with me.But,I will.I will keep living.I have to... I just have to keep living.... I refuse to be a pussy and die.I owe myself more then that.
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