Sunday, January 7, 2007

-_-;

Mom and I were "super late" to church this morning. I have to finish homework before I go back to school.*sigh* I hate learning and I hate being around people my own age, so why do I bother going to school? I wish that I could drop out, but then my future would be bleak. I have to tough it out. Highschool is not for sissies. :x I hate my hair. It is the texture of steel whool and it looks horrible. I just want to chop it all of and wear a wig all the time but I don't know whether or not if I'll regret it. If I took all my classes online, I wouldn't have to worry about what others thought of me. I could shave my head, wear a wig and be happy. I'm afraid to start school again. There's so much stuff that I didn't do. It's disgusting how expensive clothing is.

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Saturday, January 6, 2007

w00t!

After two hours of waiting and days of studying, I finally got my learner's permit! Most people in my class already have their driver's license and have cars...but who cares about them? I'm finally going to learn how to drive. That means freedom from having my parents drive me everywhere and making me late and stuff. :x I bet that I get in an accident sooner or later. I'm so scatterbrained. This weekend I have tons of work to do. No fun. I am scarred for life. I saw a really disturbing AMV the other day.

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Thursday, January 4, 2007

I need someone to play with

T_T I'm tired of my stalker. His obsession with me is dangerous. He is sinking deeper and deeper and just wants to die now. I'm tired of crying for him. He won't get a job, he jon't go back to his parents, he refuses to live. If he's going to kill himself, I want him to do it sooner rather than later. I constantly worry for him. It seems like he only loves himself. I'm bored. I have schoolwork to do but I don't do it. I am such a boring person.

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Wednesday, January 3, 2007

It's no fun here

0_o Yesterday I had FOUR comments. That's more than I've had since I joined this site. Thank you. Today was yucky. We arrived at my pscologist's offic late and had to wait three hours because my psycologist was late. I couldn't even study. Dr. Phill was playing on TV. It was about girls who form relationships with middle aged men they find online. My mom didn't let me watch all of it. :P The rest of the shows were boring and I couldn't concentrate on reading a A Tale of Two Cities or My DMV book. My psycologist was super sick. The way she talked and held her stomach freaked me out. I thought that she was she was going to throw up. So, I got home and I was hungry. I still am. :( Now that I'm home, instead of doing homework I am watching the America's Next Top Model Marathon. The girls on that show are soooo skinny. They make me feel so fat. T_T Anyway, it's the season where the contestants get to go to Japan! I'm so envious! I want to go to Japan and learn about Japanese fashion. T_T Oh well. I guess that will never happen ¢¾ FruitDefendu

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Tuesday, January 2, 2007

School Starts next week *_*

I hate school. I don't want to go back. Where did my vacation go? I haven't had any contact from anyone online in a while. I'm feeling lonely. I need to get out of the house. I wish that I could drive. The holidays are over, and my family didn't do anything to celebrate at all. I wish that we did. I spent most of yesterday sleeping.

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Monday, January 1, 2007

No past, no future, only now

Happy New Year. I hope this year will be better than the last. I've lost sight to what is important in life. I sit in front of this computer, in front of the TV, in front of my peers at school and watch how other people live. I recently got an e-mail from two people from middle school. One was a back stabbing meanie who would never associate with me. Another is someone I was actually friends with me but we've lost contact starting in eigth grade. Both have moved on and don't need me anymore. They have new friendss and they're comfertable at their new schools. I on the other hand haven't made any friends at my high school, even after all these years. I hate school and want to switch out or take all of my classes online. *sigh* Why haven't I moved on? Why do I live in the past with no reason to live? I wish that I could live alone, but the truth is that I am the same as I was in middle school. I long for companionship. *sigh* Maybe it's just jealousy and boredom. *rubs eyes* I had a dream that I drew pictures, went back in time and became the slave/bride of an Egyptian prince. I tried to escape but woke up before it ended. I haven't heard form my stalker.

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Sunday, December 31, 2006

I can't sew anyway

Every time I think about school, I have trouble breathing. I hate school and I don't want winter vacation to end. I tried making pancakes today and I started a HUGE fire. I told my dad about my stalker yesterday. He acted calm but I knew that he was angrier than he seemed. He even said, "Why are you telling me this?" I don't know whether or not I want to switch schools next semester.

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Saturday, December 30, 2006

Getting a Life

I'm Going to Sew Lace around the edge of my heart!

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Saturday

It's Saturday, which I am starting to hate almost as much as Sundays. I have chores to do and my mom has no idea what to do with my hair. I want to shave it and just buy a wig. I need to do schoolwork, which I hate and help my mom buy her books for college. *sigh* AND I need to study for my learner's permit test. I wish that I knew how to have fun, like all these crazy people online.

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Friday, December 29, 2006

Boring Day

I'm posting later than I usually do today. Hmm. I've been having a bad hair decade but today was especially bad and it was part of the reason why I was late to the library. It was really boring today. I hate volunteering there. Oh well. Only 150 more hours of volunteering to go. My therapist is so rich. It disturbs me how much money she has when she's not even helping me. I had to do errands with my mom again today. :( At least we got to try out free samples of food. Then, I went home, slept, ate and started sewing. Sewing is so hard. ;_; I feel like I'll never get good at it (or have the patience to do well.)

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