Tuesday, November 7, 2006

Yay, no school today. That means that I get to catch up on homework. Wait, why am I here? I should be working! Oh well. My mom has been really irritable lately and has been criticizing me a lot. I've been eating halloween candy until I've become sick. I got my report card yesterday. It wasn't as good as I thought. My stalker asked me to move to the UK with him. What? I'm still in school. I'm still a child. He is so obsessed. -___- I wouldn't have to go through this if I never agreed to be friends with him.

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Saturday, November 4, 2006

Cany Pop Stomace ache

Wooo I have lots of homework that I haven't even started on. T_T My stalker got out of the hospital and he seems to be fine. Maybe I should leave this site. I haven't reached my goal of improvig my typing speed and very few people comment.

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Friday, November 3, 2006

   I'm currently popping pills

*sigh* I have sooooo much homework to do. My room is a mess. All I want to do in a situation like this is sleep. I'm not getting any better and I've only taken my medication once this week. Yeah, so I'd better get to work. Appearently, my stalker was in a meeting yesterday when I tried to call him. I wish that I could speak Russian. My dad won't let me go to school online.

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Monday, October 30, 2006

Oh. My. Goodness.

He tried to commit suicide. My stalker tried to commit suicide because I "rejected" him. I can't believe him. Why?! He's in the hospital now. He sounded terrible over the phone. Whether it's true love or not it's stupid. I've never experienced it. It's not my fault that I can't love someone that I've just talked to over the phone. Why love someone so much that you cannot live without him or her? He won't let me see him. Hmmph. Now he's probably going to die just because I said that I didn't love him. What a strange person. I felt better this weekend but now he's making me cry even more.

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Saturday, October 28, 2006

   Human behavior-200

I feel like crap. It's not the same when I get all depressed though. My stalker called. He's been calling every day wanting to listen to my voice. He freaked me out many times like when he asked me to sing for him and when he said that he couldn't sleep at night because he was thinking of me. He even said that he framed a photo of me in his room. Anyway, yesterday he told me that he loved me and wanted to marry me. I thought to myself WTF is wrong with you? I'm still a minor. I don't even like you! I'm too young to be thinking about marriage etc. I don't love you. I don't even love my parents or myself. I was anxious all day and today. Then he called and asked if I loved him back. He wanted me to be blunt so I said no. He was heart broken which made me sad. Grrr...How did I get myself into this? Anyway I feel bad now. He was the only one who has ever said such nice things to me. However, had said yes, it would be for selfish reasons. Was I stupid to say no? Humans are cowards in the face of happiness. I'm crying. I cant't even tell anyone what happened. I can just implode.

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Wednesday, October 25, 2006

   I'm a horrible student

Ah, school. It's not my fault that it is so boring as to make me lazy. I would rather look at pictures of cloths than do this homework.

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Sunday, October 22, 2006

Breath in

Typical Sunday. Fights and Criticism from mom. Feelings that I'm an evil person and life is useless. Procrastinatin on weekend homework through sleep. Suicide fantasies. More arguments with my mom. Feeling that I'm useless. I hate Sundays, I dislike the people around me and I hate myself. I just want to wallow in a tub of sweets. Or kill myself. However, I have tons of homework to complete.

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Saturday, October 21, 2006

I AM PISSED I hate school. My mom is The Surpreme Bitch. And, I don't care about anyone. Things haven't gotten better thus far.

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Stuff happened

It's not that interesting. I might be getting a job soon. Or not. Why is everything so expensive? I need to get started working on my scienece project.

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Monday, October 16, 2006

   Open Letter: To everyone who likes to harass me about my grades

LEAVE ME ALONE!!! I know that I get fairly good grades. I don't try to rub it in everyone's face. It's OTHER PEOPLE who insist on seeing my tests and then make fun of me afterwards. I work hard for my grades. I wake up at 1 AM to do stupid essays, I do homework every day DURING LUNCH and I study obsessively. I am not some genius who is trying to make everyone look stupid. In fact, I'm a pathetic excuse for a human being. If it weren't for my grades I would kill myself because I have no reason to live. You people harass me because I get an "A" on at test but you know nothing about me. I have no close friends, I don't love any member of my family and I plan to become a waitress in the future. I'm taking a million pills because I'mm supposedly depressed. And you know what? No.One. Cares. Even though I work my ass off to get a stupid "A" my parents don't care. Even though I may have a highest grade in my math class, the person with a grade much lower than mine is valedictorian. WTF So, even though grades are the only thing that keep me from being a complete failure, I don't get recognized. SO LEAVE ME THE FXXK ALONE! YOU COULD CARE LESS IF I KILLED MYSELF TOMORROW SO STOP HARASSING ME! Love, FD THANK YOU WHOEVER BOTHERED TO READ THIS WHICH IS NO ONE.

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