Tuesday, March 25, 2008

so happy

sorry i haven't posted i spent the weekend at shelby's yesterday i stayed after school and jon, shelby, and jaclyn and me all went to walmart to buy easter candy but it was all gone T.T so we bought some chips and condoms (for shelby and jon) i sent in my application for me to work at harkins theatre a week ago harkins theatre is a movie theatre and there is a new one opening by me so i want to work there and the manager called me last night and i have a interview today after school ^____^ i'm so happy i might get a job but i hate it because i have to dress nice >.< man i am so tired i wish school would just end now junoir year is way to hard for me. in english class we are reading another novel this one is called "the great gatsby" ive never read it before and it sounds like a good book i dont like the books the school picks out for us. well i got to go i'll talk to you guys later.

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Friday, March 21, 2008

random facts are funny

so yesterday i watched 9 hours of CSI yes 9 hours thats all i did and last night i found a website with random facts on it so i'll give you guys the good ones. In Singapore, it is illegal to sell or own chewing gum. 45% of any dollar bill you have ever owned has been in a stripper's G-string In Natoma, Kansas, it's illegal to throw knives at men wearing striped suits. It's illegal to slurp soup in New Jersey. Five Jell-O flavors that flopped: celery, coffee, cola, apple, and chocolate. The cigarette lighter was invented before the match. The longest word in the English language is pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis Rats can't throw-up Every year, 100 men are diagnosed with breast cancer On average, 100 people choke to death on ball-point pens every year. In Reno Nevada it is illegal to lie down on the sidewalk. On average, 63 people each year in the UK die due to inhalation of animal hair. More than 40,000 people each year die from Toilet Injuries. These could be from drowning in the toilet to tripping and knocking their head on the toilet. There is a an island of plastic and trash floating in the Pacific ocean that is twice the size of Texas. China has more English speakers than the United States. well that is my life you just read i look up useless stuff that i will never need for example a blue whales penis can reach as long as 100ft. well i'm going to go i'm going to shelby's house today

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Thursday, March 20, 2008

almost over

well spring break is almost over i kind of want to go back to school and kind of dont but o well i dont really have much of a choice. yesterday i went to jon's house with shelby it was fun shelby kept getting on top of me and jump up and down XD jon's was doing the same with me to but he is a little shy about that stuff like he doesn't even like taking off his shirt in front of somebody and it was funny shelby got him to wear her pink skrit XD and then later on jon became more comforable around me he started to walk around in nothing but his boxer it was funny. today i dont know what i am doing i might go to shelby's house jon's as something to do with work haha he works at mcdonalds he just got the job and he has to go to this thing to learn how to use the stuff and learn the rules stuff like that so he is going to be going for most of the day. well thats all i have to say i'll talk to you guys later.

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Wednesday, March 19, 2008

damn shelby

so the zoo was really fun i like the one we went to its a lot better then the phoenix zoo at the one we went to its called wildlife and we can feed the giraffe's i love the giraffe's tongue its purple and really really long i was holding my brother helping him feed them and my mom wanted a picture my mom is a camare whore she takes so many pictures its not even funny well she started yelling at me because she couldn't get a good picture so i'm holding my brother and my chest starts to hurt and my mom is still yelling at me later on i was like MOM MY CHEST HURTS YOU DONT NEED A PICTURE!!! that made her stop. it was so cool we got to feed this birds and you get a slice of apple on your hand and hold it out and a bird will land on you and eat it it was so cool >.< but then my eyes started to burn and i was sneezing like crazy since i'm allergic to all feathers but it was so cool when i was walking around the zoo shelby texted me and said help... the condom broke... yes she said that and i dont know if it is true or not sometimes she plays mean tricks on me i'm not worried about her tho later on if its true i will but not know i'm under so much stress i cant deal with anymore. well i got to go i'll talk to you guys later.

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Tuesday, March 18, 2008

more nightmares

yesterday was ok nothing good happened i had more nightmares but now i have a stack of cartoons on DVD next to my bed so when i cant go back to sleep or i'm just to scared i can watch cartoons on my laptop. well today i am going to the zoo with my family and cousins it has been really cold and cloudy for the past few days but it looks like it warmed up and its a clear sky right now well i got to go i'm running late already >.<

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Monday, March 17, 2008

lies and more lies

so i haven't told you guys this but i haven't been sleeping for the past week and its not because of the break up it started before that but i'm just to scared to sleep at night i can only sleep during the day. its silly that i'm scared to sleep but i'm hearing things again not voices this time but like somebody walking around in the room touching stuff and sometimes it gets really cold in my room and i have been having nightmares. last night it was really bad in one dream i was being tortured by this guys and they were just doing painful things to me at the end i was ripped to pieces and in my other dream i was being raped and nobody came to help me and stuff. i dont know why i am having this yesterday i was texting jaclyn and by mistake i told her i cant sleep at night only during the day i can sleep and i think she took it the wrong way like i think she is the cause of my not sleeping and its not i know for a fact since it started days before the break up. well that is it i'm really tired and my cousins are finally quite its 9:30am right now so i'm going back to bed

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Sunday, March 16, 2008

nothing can take away this pain

so yesterday i mostly slept the day away then at night my chest started to hurt like hell the pain was so painful i was crying and i went to tell my mom but all she said was oh great well i cant take you to the hospitol go take your inhaler i was so pissed at her i took like 6 puffs of my inhaler and some strong pain killers it still didn't help so i just went to bed. the pains are gone so that is good i have to go to my grandma's house today and my cousins are staying with us for half the week so i might not be on very much this week well i have to go to last minute cleaning talk to you guys later.

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Saturday, March 15, 2008

so pissed

so you guys know that i worked 5 hours in the middle of the night to do my history project well i went to class and my teacher wasn't there we had a sub >.< i was so pissed but i'm glad it is done cause i dont want homework over SPRING BREAK!!!! yes thats right i'm on spring break. yesterday i went over to jenna's house with kyle and trevor and we had a fun time we went down to the pool and it was late at night and we were sitting in the hot tub and this some what old some what fat guy comes over to us and sits with us now we are the only people there and he starts talking to us and i'm think are you going to kill us but then trevor left cause it was freaking him out and it was just jenna and me in the hot tub with the creepy guy and his phone rang and this is what he said "ya you should bring the stuff and the other stuff and we can do stuff" i look over at jenna and laugh and left. and when we left the pool was when the creepy guys friends came and so we went over to the bathroom and showered (with clothes mind you) and you need a key to get into the pool and the bathrooms it was funny cause jenna and me were in the bathroom and kyle came with us we didn't care and jenna went to go change in the first stale well kyle is really tall and he started to laugh and i look at him and i was like OMG KYLE GET OUT!!!! and i pushed him out the door cause he was watching jenna change cause he can look over the stale wall XD haha and when we were walking back to jenna's house trevor forgot his glasses at the pool (dont ask me how he did that) and he went to get them and when he came back he told us that the creepy guy was having sex with the old lady EWWWWW really no joke they were so we ran from there. well thats all i can think of what we did that was good to tell i have to help my mom clean the house because this week my cousins are coming to stay with us T.T they are all guys and they are so loud and they have to much engery well talk to you guys later.

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Friday, March 14, 2008

fucking teachers

so yesterday was hard to deal with trying to be friends with jaclyn is hard since everytime i look at her(god she is beautiful)i think about what we had and it makes me want to cry but i am not going to cry i will not i will cry for her, not for me, and not for what we had but it got easier. so after school we all had projects to do so shelby, jon, jaclyn, and me stayed after school to work on our projects will i sat there in the library spinning around in the chair for 3 hours and i didn't do any of it XD my project is that you have to make a storybook talking about the 1920's and the great depression they were all mad at me cause they got done and i was still on slide 2 ^_^ and it was fun cause i was talking to jaclyn like friends were nothing negative just happy stuff and it was fun then i went home and worked on my story it took me 5 hours to do O.O i worked from 6:30pm to 11:00pm straight and i was on the phone with kyle the whole time he said that going to 7th hour jaclyn hugged him and started to cry and all she said was that she has been making bad mistakes a lot lately and then she walked off i feel bad because i wasn't there for her but i'm not going to get into it its not my place but kyle and me dont know what she means by that kyle thinks that she thinks breaking up with me was a mistake i dont know but i'm dont going to dwell on it one day we will talk about this just not now. well i got to go i'll talk to you guys later.

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Thursday, March 13, 2008

i'm a bad gf

remember yesterday's post when i said i felt like i did something wrong will turns out i'm right and jaclyn broke up with me yesterday morning. she said she felt like we were just friends i wanted to say everything to her everything on how much i love her and what i love about her but all i could say was ok and so i walked away to go walk with a friend to get breakfast and then i saw skyler and rissa and i just cryed with him holding him he told me i needed to go talk to her but i didn't know how but i did but all i said was i know this is my fault and this is just really hard for me since i love you i finally told her i loved her after she broke up with me then after that she didn't say anything we huged for a little bit then i walked off i was building my walls again and i was not going to cry again. so through out the day in every hour i took a walked just the classes were to happy it made me sick i punched a couple of brick walls and in 6th hour i took the bathroom pass to go on a walk and it was taped back together and i was seening if i could cut my hand with it XD it didn't work (i'm not a cutter) so then i asked trevor if i could come over cause i was afraid if i went home i would just cry. and trevor helped me a lot i told him everything that i wanted to tell jaclyn i told him everything on how i love her and what i love about her and he said i should tell her that but i dont want to make it harder on her since we are kind of a part we are friends and we are talking to each other just not talking. trevor doesn't know why jaclyn broke up with me and neither do I (i didn't want to ask jaclyn) but trevor thinks i should go back out with jaclyn and that he is going to talk to her he thinks she just freaked out but the thruth is i dont know if i could go back out with her again if i'm just going to hurt her again and if she doesn't have feelings for me anymore. i want to ask her so many questions but i dont want to hurt her and make this break up even harder. right now i'm fine i'm done crying and i'm ready to move on i'm not mad at jaclyn and i dont regret anything spending all those days with her being my gf was worth every second and spending time with her as just friends is just as worth it. well i got to go

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