Sunday, March 23, 2008

   Worlds
Hey everyone I just wanted to let you all know that me and scooter7 are writing a story in the theotaku wrolds. The url is theotaku.com/ourworld. Feel free to stop by and read or comment. Alright then, later.
Comments (0) | Permalink

Monday, February 18, 2008

   Life by Devin B.
Life.
That one word never seems to make sense to me anymore.
I can't put in words how I feel about life,
without it coming out wrong.
I have a creative heart but to put down words of my feelings,
Is something I can't seem to do right.
I mean I can say life sucks,
I can say life is a waste,
Or I can simply say my life is slowly draining,
going down a drain I wish it would not.

This may not make sense but it is truly not supposed to.
I have a troubled soul who wishes to escape
but doesn't know how.
I can soothe my soul with music but that only last till I have to turn it off.
When my music is gone I am once again in need of an escape.
No one can help me,
I am somewhat to stubborn to listen.

My life has always been, how should I say?
Somewhat unpleasing.
But I have never complained.
I don't even complain now.
But now instead of saying my thoughts,
I have become frustrated with myself and others.
I want to run away.
Start my own life.
Be my own person.
Not have to worry about things.
Like my mom:
Is she going to kill herself with drugs and not even realize she's doing till its to late?
Or like my dad:
Will he ever truly be happy again?

To be honest,
I don't really care.
I don't believe I ever have.
Well maybe for one person but they died a fate they couldn't fight or win.
I will end my silly words here
but what do you make of that one little word?
That one little miserable word,
Life.
Me?
I don't think I'll make it really at all.
Comments (0) | Permalink

Sunday, February 3, 2008

In regards to all poems
All of these poems are written by a very close friend of mine so I do not take credit for any of them, if you like them please comment and I will send whatever any of you say to her. Thank you.
Comments (0) | Permalink

Lost love By Briana B.
You gave me your heart and soul

You said that you would protect me from my fears

You said that loved me

You lied to me

Now that the confession is out

My heart is re-broken,

my soul re-shattered

Your words have left un-healable scars

Your voice an echo of words I wish to hear

The face I once adored now brings nothing but tears to my eyes

Memories of us together; I feel nothing but regret

Regret of not being what you wanted

Not being perfect or pretty enough

Regret of not opening up

Not being hyper enough to satisfied your needs

I wish I could heal our love, and make it last longer

But I fear that was the one and last chance

Last chance to kiss your lips

Last chance to feel your embrace

Last chance to know someone truly loves me more then a friend

For you will move on to someone better then me

I will become a distant memory

you've forgotten who I am

A faint voice in the back of your mind

Save me from myself

My hugs will mean nothing to you

I'm sorry

Same with my words

I care and love you

You will never see me the way I still see you

A beautiful girl

If only I could tell you how much I still love you

It's to late now, if I tell...it'll mean nothing to you

I mean nothing to you

I just wish you could see what you mean to me

But no matter what happens between us

Your are my "master"

I am your "dog"

You are my friend

I am your shoulder to cry on

You may be my ex-girlfriend...

I may mean nothing to you

I will always love you until the end

I will always be waiting for you
Comments (0) | Permalink

My love By Briana B.
I hang on for your sake

I try to hide in all my tears

Erasing all my mistakes as we start over

Walking down a fresh path



I open up and complain

I don't cut to seal the darkness

I pull you deeper inside my soul seeing a side I've once forgotten

Hoping you won't run away



I obey your every command

I tell you everything that's wrong with me,

Even if you do have to force it sometimes

But please my love

Why do you pull away from me?



Am I that much of a problem

That you won't let me in?

To understand your pain

To hold you when you need it



My love, you hide your tears so well

That even sometimes I forget their there

You can stop hiding

I won't turn you down



I'll stay by your side from now until I die

Comforting you when you need it

Wiping away the few tears that escape your eyes

So please let me hold you tight in my arms

Making sure that you're truly ok



In my arms you can stop holding back

Allow those tears to fall

I'll still be here

Scream out your pain



My love, you're not alone

So please just put your guard down

Allow me to feel your pain

Your sorrow, your hate



All the times you thought you where alone

Your not, I'm here for you

Just release yourself for a moment and let me see you



You have always been there for me

Allowing me to fall and cry before you

You make sure I'm safe at night

My love, now it's time for you to relax



Allow me to do the work now

Scream and complain over everything single thing

Cry in front of me fall to your knees

And feel my body wrap around you

Please just put down your guard for one last time

I will listen to your every word

No matter the time



I know you've been through lots

So have I

We both hide

Terrified of getting hurt by the outside world

Hidden by walls

Nothing but darkness surrounds us

We live in our own reality



Separating ourselves from the others

But we don't have to separate ourselves from each other

Let me feel your pain and see you cry

Just one time



I'll always be here if you need me

You don't need to hide from me

I'll understand what you're going through



Just put down your guard and tell me everything

For you my love

I will be your everything
Comments (0) | Permalink

   Potatos By Briana B.
Potatoes are interesting

There not round

And there not square

So what could they be?



Could they be a fruit?

A fruit? No way!

Well then could they be a flying disk?

A flying disc? Come on, be serious!

Then what on earth could they be?



They can not be a fruit or flying disk,

They just don't have that capability

If they were a fruit then I would die

Because my mother would have been all wrong

Do tell



She use to bring us potatoes every year, for Christmas!

NO way

Oh yes how we loved it so!!! We would dance and sing

Eat and drink

All round this potato field



So if a potato is not a fruit? Nor a flying disk

Then what possibilities could it bring?



You see here darling, a potato could end all hunger!

It could stop the iron war!

There's a war?

It would solve this dilemma of yours?

Really?



Potatoes are interesting

There not round

And there not square

Nor a fruit, Nor a flying disk

So what could they be?



They must the cure for cancer!

The cure for insanity!

Insanity?!?

With this potato in thy hand! I shall rule the world!!



How?



How? You may ask? I'll tell you!

With this one potato I shall rule this land!



Again…how?



I will bring the people to there knees by telling them it Jesus

In a form of wheat

Potatoes are wheat?

No you idiot I was being cute

Oh, I see



No listen here and you might actually learn!

Oh boy,

The potato is a plant, that you can eat see how the root are in the ground?

Oh yes indeed but how will this with the ruling of the world?



I shall ruin all the land, destroy all the crops then the potato will rise again!

And everything will FALL!



Ooo, scary are we?



Yes I am feeling a bit…scary

Anyway, as I was ranting



Then the potato will rise up and rule the crops!

Forcing everyone to grow it!!!

And with this growing of potatoes! We shall end the iron war!



No you dope, I'm going to get rich!

From a potato?

Yes, from my potato fields!!!
Comments (0) | Permalink

I miss her By Briana B.
In Memory of: Jenny

I miss her smiling when I walked by

Every day

I miss the way she laughed at my limping walk

Every hour

I miss her phone calls at 3 a.m.

Every night

I met this girl, to trap her in my hold

To take away her freedom

To make her suffer from my being

Forcing her to live through pain-filled years

Taking away her smile

Her laugh, her rights

Choosing her death to come early

Making her die on the inside and rot in a grave

Never letting her free of my grasp

I miss her hugging me

Every time someone else does

I miss her screaming my name when I do not listen

Every waking second

I miss her running to me with open arms

Laughing if she dared to fall

Forcing a smile to gather on my face

Only to get up and hug me tight

Every time I open my heavy eyes

Eyes that are worn from lack of sleep

That burn from fresh tears

Looking down in disgrace of myself

Smiles are harder to draw

Laughter is harder to awaken

Happiness is harder to drag

January 15, 1992 to September 18, 2006

Was the span of her life

The last 4 years I caused her suffering

The last 4 months I lied to her

The last 4 weeks I failed her

The last 4 days I cried for her

The last 4 hours I begged for her

The last 4 minutes I screamed for her

The last 4 seconds I listened to her die

I waited with her

I cried with her

I shattered with her

Now her grave awaits the decades

Her body rots underneath

This is my friend Jenny's story

And she died before me, because of me, without me
Comments (0) | Permalink

   Thank you By Briana B.
Dedicated to my big sister Missy, Devin, Katie, Tina, Todd, and Jenny. For being there when I needed you and when I did not. I love you all so much do not ever forget that. (Missy I love Todd as a friend)

I cried in your arms

I cannot thank you enough

I cried in the corner

You pulled me out and held me

I cried on the street

You brought me back home

I cried for 3 days with little sleep

You helped me finally dream

I can push you away

However, you'll come back

Demanding what is to be told

What is to be shown

Allowing me to cry in your arms

I can call you at 11:30 pm

And not worry of your anger

For you will listen to me as I cry over the phone

You will force me to eat when I am depressed

You keep me in arms reach when I am suicidal

You make me laugh to uphold my smile

I can complain to you for days

You will listen to them all

I can cry to you for months

You make my tears fade each time

I can call you when I need you

You will pick up the phone and be there

I can demand that you leave but you will stay

Worrying over me, making sure I am not dead

I can come to you shattered and broken

Hopeless and beaten

Crying and screaming

You will help me stand, and help me though

Helping me rebuild myself

With duck tape and chocolate

Laughter and smiles

Hugs and compassion

Dear close friends of mine

Who have been with me through my worst

Who have seen me fall

Seen me give up

You all helped me pull through

You were there when I needed you most

When I did not want you at all

I wish to repay you

However, I have nothing to give but smiles and hugs

I must thank my big sister Missy; for helping me through all those nights

Making sure, I see the light of day, making me laugh to hear my voice

Allowing me to stay those extra nights just so I can make sure, I will make it through the week. Letting me know that I am too nice and that I need to stand up for myself.

Holding me when I cried for Jenny.

I must thank Katie; for making me call her, letting me cry on her shoulder

When I could not hold back the tears, letting me know that I'm welcome at her home

Knowing that she will always love me for who I am, and feeding me every time I go over

I must thank Devin; for being my other big sister

Letting me cry to her over the phone, making the bad things go away

Even if it was for a little while, allowing my laugh to return

With her jokes

I must thank Tina; for listing to me complain for weeks at a time. Letting me express all my hate of this world to her. Knowing that she has been though a lot and will help me to stay alive just like the others.

I must also thank Todd; for giving Missy the words, I needed. Entertaining me with random shit. Allowing all my pain to disappear even for a little while

Finally...I must thank Jenny; for hugging me for hours at a time

Telling me everything was going to be all right when it wasn't

Making me laugh with her stupidity. Running after me if I ran away

Pulling the rope off my neck, pulling the razor out of my hands

Hiding the gun from my head.

Letting me know that no matter what, I should hold on to life

Because someone will need me one day as well

You helped me through some tough times

Well, we have a shit load more to go

Before I can be on the right path again

Nevertheless, you're getting closer to me each day

Letting me live a little longer each time I see you

Helping me in rebuilding myself

When I cannot find the pieces anymore

I pushed you away

I hated you at times

But you stayed by my side until I smiled without pain

Until I could sleep without crying first

Until I could laugh on my own

You helped bring back my long lost dreams

My lost love for humans

My lost voice that fell into a dark hole

I may not stand up for myself

But that is another battle on the horizon that I must face

You have done so much I cannot thank you enough

Because you brought back the missing girl

You brought back a missing smile

A missing laugh

A child who use to hate the human race and world

But you change that child

You opened up a locked soul slowly but here she is

Waiting to see you smile

Ready to fight the battles you face

The people who shall judge you

Arms open for a hug at any time

Ears waiting to listen to your problems or jokes

I may not stand up for myself for I am still fragile

However, I will stand up for you; I will protect you until the end

Because I feel,

That is the only way I can repay you my friends

For smiles and hugs just don't even come close to the repayment

And I love you all more then you shall ever know

Because I have been locked away for 13 years

And you have pushed your way through, making me speak

Making me complain

Keeping me alive when I thought death was my only answer

And that my loved ones, my take my whole life and longer to repay
Comments (0) | Permalink

True test of forgiveness By Briana B.
You say you'll understand

So I put up my wall again

But you just break it down

You're taking over my life

I want you to go away

I can't breathe

I can't sleep knowing you'll find me

I look at the puddle of blood

And I see your soul

My tears have become your own

You clam that you won't hate me

But you can't see that you're lying

Can't you see that there's this wall for a reason

It's to block you out of my mind

But you won't quit

You break it down, screaming at me to stop

Can't you see I cut my veins

To end this pain

I have own problems

Don't you have your own

Stop making mine worse with your pity

I don't need it anymore,

I hate you just go away

Your voice is echoing though my head

Why you just let me rot and decay

Every one else has but you won't go away

Your stupid voice won't leave my mind

Every time you hug me it burns my soul

Your eyes cast away my hatred which I want to keep

You care too much for me

Go away

I'm screaming at you

You just stand there trying to stop the bleeding

Your laugh makes me sick

Your smile makes me want to break your teeth

Can't you see I really hate you

So why don't you go away

Why do you stay with me

Why do you cry for me when I push you away

Behind my eyes is an endless void of hate for you

I've always hated you

Are you that blind?

How can you not see the obvious!

I want you to die, your worthless to me!

Leave me alone!

You can't love me

It's impossible to love one as hatful as I

I'm too much of a burden

I cause everyone pain

God dang it, don't you understand

You stupid insignificant repulsive child!!

I hate you!

You annoy me to hell!

I wished your death to fall upon you

Thousands of times and yet here you are

Holding me

As I scream hateful things towards you

You stay right here

Taking it all in

Listening to my screams of hatred upon this world

Upon the humans that ruined my life from the very start

Feeling my fists pound against your chest

While my nails dig into your skin ripping it apart

I bite into your arm

Making you bleed

Waiting for you to scream at me

You just sit there taking it

Like it wasn't even happening

I glare at you through the thickness of my hair

You're looking at me saying with a voice full of worry

A voice full a care

"It's ok, keep screaming

Don't hold back anymore

I forgive you"

I call you a foul name and slam my fist in your face

You move only slightly

Yet still you hug me in place

I pound and scream

Bite and claw

Yet you still are there

Even when the night over

And it is Dawn

My energy is gone

Anger has died within my being

Now I'm just sitting here crying, never ending

I scream for you to leave me

To go and die already

Yet as I call you foul names and beat upon your body over and over

You stay by my side, saying you would forgive me for giving you this test

The test to see how forgiving you really are
Comments (0) | Permalink

Thursday, January 31, 2008

   One new pic anyway
Well I scanned a few pics but the computer I was on wouldnt let me put them up on the site but I did manage to get one up, its not much except for the out line. Well anyway later...
Comments (0) | Permalink

Thursday, January 10, 2008

   Blah..
I have new pics I just have to scan them when I can so I think they should be up soon. Thank you if you are waiting to see something new.
Comments (0) | Permalink

» Archives