Tuesday, December 28, 2004

Merry Crimbo!1!1111
...yeah it's late. So what?
I've been away, and didn't have time to post before, cuz I of Kessra. *salutes* And I dont even know if she's ok, because the forums are down. Left Blue Laguna. Because it's a shit hole. My very first forum....*sob*... but I'm not needed anymore. So, yeah.
I'm feeling a lot richer now. Xmas was generous. Completely forgot to get my uncle anything *headesk* Meh, whatever.
Been slobbing out for the last few days, Sporked some 'Sues and stuff, but that's pretty much it.
Me installed lots of pretty fonties. Fonts!!!!! Love em ^^ Couldn't be bothered to pay for downloading them super quick, so I've been sitting around installing them for 4 hours or something. -_- I seriously need to get a life. Anyway, off to download more fonts


Tattybyes


--Dory
Comments (0) | Permalink

Wednesday, December 8, 2004

   .....beep
Okay, got over me lil angry stage. Still only 89 visits, but tis okay. ^.^
I have a complete obsession with the song by Elvis in Lilo and stitch, Burning Love. But I cant find any decnt mp3s or midis. Grrr. Been stuck in my head all day, never giving me a moment's peace. ...da da dum da dum dum dum dum, burnig love...

Wrote a peom. Not great due to major brain fart (yay! am obsessed with saying brain fart)

My Last Lullaby;


Hello
My alibi
I see you coming
Won’t run and hide

So they all know
that you're with me
But they don’t see

That each kiss beats me
down lower
Takes the colour from my soul
Constantly
You're killing me
With the cherubically sweet gag
called 'love'
My murderer
My tourniquet

Each touch spun with narcotic
Kisses laced with balm
Put my strivings to rest
Induce me into wake-less sleep
I wont arise
My last lullaby

Stilling me
Crushing me
Put a smile on my face and call me your friend
Capture my sluggish heart's beating again
Temporary grin
No! No!
I wake for the while
I'm here
Can’t you, won’t you, hear me shout?
Throw me a life line
Before deep waters take me
Throw me a life line!!
I'm drowning again.

Powerless
I turn to you
I'll keep taking my poison
My daily dose
Can't stop
I can't
But it's okay
The end's light is still there;

You'll take my pain...
And all that remains
I'm nothing
The content of my very soul
Is like but a prayer on the wind
My last hope
Abandoned;
I take your hand

Hold my head under the water
I'll stop struggling soon
And things get foggy
Oxygen-deprived
Love's carbon monoxide
Seep through my bones
Sedated sense...

I'll stop struggling soon..


And thanks to Egill for commenting me posts and talking to me. Not many people do. *runs and cries in corner* sniffle. I wont be turning me comments off hun. Comments are nice

Tattybyes
Comments (4) | Permalink

Thursday, November 11, 2004

   I'm pissed
I'm feeling really shitty and unwanted and I feel like nothing and that nobody loves me. Which is true. And i'll tell you why.
1. I was visiting a site of a newb, and she has millions of comments on her posts, which are like 2 lines long, and she has no fan art or nothing. WHY?! Nobody pays me attention! And ok, maybe I'ma bit of a newb, but she's even more newbie! Rrrr! I feel so worthless.
2.On the little give me love questionarre thing, I got no replies. None. I'm not loved
Comments (1) | Permalink

Sunday, November 7, 2004

Broken inside.....
'....There's nowhere to go, no where to go, to dry her eyes. Broken inside....' --Avril Lavigne, Nobody's home.

Yeah, that's about how I'm feeling right now. Nothing seems to be working out. Nothing. I'm just....drifting away from everything. I'm losing my christian faith, for one thing. Everytime I look at something from the faith, it just seems more and more biased and ridiculous.
Right, I had a go at a poem. I'm not feeling great, so it didn't turn out great.

She died

I couldn't tell you why
She was dead inside
I guess, so long ago,
she must have died.
I didn't know how to help her
I went with the crowds
Stumbling along
It seemed easy like that.

But what about her
What was her life?
Was it easy?
Will she mend?

Her desires are hidden
She lost it, she's lost it
Somewhere along the line.
She died.
Her tears are empty
She's empty, she's burning
She's burning inside

I never knew what she went through
She felt it...
Everyday
Weren't we meant to be kind?
She's lost, she's hollow
No one can save her now

Would sheshe cry?
Because of me
The reasons why
She couldn't see
She's so different
Doesn't she just want peace?

Her grave is the schoolyard
Her tears are insults
Her funeral march is
the route back home


Yeah it's not brilliant. It shall be oficially the sister piece to 'An Empty Shell'.
DO excuse me if I post less and less. Just deak with it, kay, if there's even anyone reading this.
I'm going now. Gunna go train on FFX-2
Oh, and, Dark Sephy? If you happen to stumble across this, let me answer your comments on BL:
This strike isn't pointless. And it's not just because of that fight, either.
Yes, I do love BL, but the place is just deteriorating, as am I, and, anyway, I need some time away.
And your last comment: maybe you dont know me like you think you do. i'm sorry to dissapoint you so. Maybe I'm not who you think I am.
Comments (3) | Permalink

Thursday, November 4, 2004

Everybody! Love! And peace!
Me no feeling too good, in fact this suicidal shit is still going on. Urrr...blood is addictive. Do it once, you can never go back... Anyhoodles. Fill out these questions. I need love!!

1. Who are you?
2. Are we friends?
3. When and how did we meet?
4. Do you have a crush on me?
5. Would you kiss me?
6. Give me a nickname and explain why you picked it.
7. Describe me in one word.
8. What was your first impression [of me]?
9. Do you still think that way about me now?
10. What reminds you of me?
11. If you could give me anything what would it be?
12. How well do you know me?
13. When's the last time you saw me?
14. Ever wanted to tell me something but couldn't?
15. Are you going to put this on your journal and see what I say about you?
16. What song are you listening to right now?
17. Do you love me?

Comments (1) | Permalink

   Bush won
NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!! You stupid faggot Americans!!! No offense to anybody of course. But, as a nation, HOW COULD YOU BE SO STUPID????? Ah well, it's their problem, not mine. Let them die and burn in hell with their suckass leader.
Whatever. Do not care.
Am so totally considering running away. I hate my folks, my brother's a bawling cry baby and the always proscecute me. Bastards. And worse, it started me doing it again, getting a needle and scratching my arm til it bleeds. I need help. But no one in this godforsaken worldis going to give it to me.
Comments (1) | Permalink

Monday, October 25, 2004

Lover boy
Come, step in through my door
Lover boy
No need to implore
Lover boy
Come out of the rain
Come and rattle my chains
But, I wont sin again
Lover boy.

Come and sit by the fire
Lover boy
What else is there to do
Lover boy?
No, I know what you're thinking
But I'm innocent, I'm blinking
I can feel yout hope sinking
Lover boy.

Shall I pour another glass
Lover boy?
I'm feeling quite giddy
Lover boy
But I'm still in control
Wont have virginity stole
Yeah, I'm still keeping whole
Lover boy.

What do you mean
Lover boy?
You mean, now? And here,
Lover boy?
Alright, ignore the warnings
We wont regret 'til morning
Then contempt'll be dawning
Lover boys

You cause such ecstacy
Lover boy!
Drowning in you, in me
Lover boy
Indulging in pleasure
To no mortal measure
And all to my leisure
Lover boy

So hungover when I wake,
Lover boy
My vision clears, and I see you
Lover boy
You bastard! I'll kill you!
How could you do this, how could you!?
But it was my drunken fault too
Lover boy



I like this poem. You agree? Basically it speaks of someone drinking too much then doing something that they regret in the morning. I think the flow went nicely, reflecting the mood of the speaker. So anyhoo.
Doubt I'll be posting much over the next week. I'm on me hols, so little will be happening. But if it does, I'll post. See?
Meh. Chow

-Dory
Comments (1) | Permalink

Friday, October 22, 2004

An Empty Shell
Like the condensation on the window
Waxes high, yet wanes on the swell
I know how he cried
and I know how he died
Just another sad story to tell

His portrait's gone grey and misty
The smile on the picture is cracked
But this picture, it's like
The deal in real life
Slow and still before the impact

He treated some with his rare smile
bore the burden, bore the blame
But was he as strong
As in one blue song?
Shook from black blows and wept for the shame

And all he was, an empty shell
Dragged through spite and hate and hell
This is all he was; an empty shell
But, yet so far, I hope he's well

Take your life, leave a sweet letter
A lost soliloquy, white
Red handprint
and a scribbled note
Burning letter and broken ropes

I tried to call out and I tried to be strong
But as I spider I hid, too afraid
I always called you my friend
But made it worse in the end
Was it my fault all these years, all along?

And all he was, an empty shell
Dragged through spite and hate and hell
This is all he was; an empty shell
But, yet so far, I hope he's well

I would have died for you
But it ended vice-versa



Beautiful, ne? Kinda rushed, didn't edit it that much. Another poem telling the story of suicide. Doesn't take it that far into the background story. still. Meh
Drew a manga style Anna Valerious in me school planner. Ah, faithful planner! A hive of creativity all by itself. And I drew a little siamese cat. The fore-shortening actually worked. lol.

____________________________________________________________________

-Dory
Comments (1) | Permalink

Thursday, October 21, 2004

I am poet of the Poetry Guild of Otaku
It's true!! Mwahahahaahahaha. I suppose I have to write something to prove it to you. So here goes;

Crying
Sleep to lullaby
Little one, little one.
Dont worry;
When it all goes wrong I'll take away your pain.
Sleep to lullaby,
little child, my little child.
Dont worry
Life is just a summer bird
so quickly flown away

But you
You wont grow old.
You'll be ageless
Ageless forever more
Can you guess what I'm trying to say
By this blood on my hands?
Why are you crying?
Cuz I'm not smiling?
What? There's nothing to be scared of.
My little child dont cry.

My little one
Dont cry.
Dont cry, or I will kill you!!
A little siren going off
Shut up! Shut up!
Why d'you have to be so loud?
You better be scared that Mama's not home!!!

My little one
pull out your throat
The way to stop the screaming
There
You're not in pain anymore, are you?
Cuz you're not .
screaming.
Little siren's been turned off.
We always need to redecorate this room.
But I never did like red

Oh, little one
Why do you bleed?
And how come everyone...
Their looking now.
Why do they pay attention now?
I've stopped you crying, right?
I ONLY STOPPED YOU CRYING!!!


Comments (1) | Permalink

Monday, October 18, 2004

Yaaaaa....
Hoodly hoo. Tres bored. Wrote another poem. You want to read it. Dont you? Go on I know you want to.Very little thing that I ended up writing in my planner. In History class, I believe. How he drones!! So here goes;

How she sat and she watched
With no breath on her tongue,
With no words on her lips,
With no weight on her hips.
And how she watched, so outcast
And she differs from them all
How she cried for it to last
Though she hated every moment.
Every moment that passed by
Like the empty, empty sky
And this empty, empty life
That she led, that she led
And this tainted, scarlet blood
That she bled, that she bled.
But at least this shit was something
Unlike lonely, blackened nothing
And she laughed
As she bled
As she cried
As she laughed
Hoping for the bitter days to pass.

Pretty much a description of me. Lol.
Amd desperate for Abhorsen to come out in the sodding UK. DESPERATE, I tell you. Lucky american buggers. Also am waiting in anticipation for Advent Children. My bro has an obsession with Tifa. At least they've adjusted the...hem, hem...Chest problem

pip pip

--Dory
Comments (0) | Permalink