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• 1985-09-29
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Female
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• Philippines
Member Since
• 2004-08-14
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• Student
Real Name
• Fuuko Kirisawa
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• forgotten
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• Rekka no Honoo, Angel Sanc, Onegai Teacher, SK, DBZ/GT, Gensomaden Saiyuki/Reload, Get Backers, HikaGo, Initial D, Karekano, Mahou Tsukai Tai, Noir, Slayers, Taiho Shichauzo, Tennis no Oujisama, Wolf's Rain, etc.. it might got cut again. -_-;
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• to be live simply with my loved ones
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• reading books, playing video games, writing fanfics, surfing the net, editing photos and experimenting/learning with html
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• cooking...i guess.
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Tuesday, September 7, 2004
random rants.
so stupid...i already typed my post when i accidentally press ctrl+r. agh. now i got to do it again. <_<
anywayz, as i was saying, it's been 3 days since i last posted here. it's just, i don't know if i'm going to rant here or not. but i just want to be true to myself, so i did this.
ok, the title said it. i'm not very much in the mood. i'm not an angsty person. i don't consider myself one. but i do am alone most of the time. but, not now.
what's the rant all about? it's about my mom. yeah. i was just wondering, why does she keep on doing 'this' to me? sometimes, i thought, maybe she loves her siblings more than she loves me. it happened this sunday. a technician looked at our broken tv. when my dad went out to buy the needed parts, and it's just me and my mom in the house that time (my aunt that's living with us is out. btw, my mom got 8 siblings, so that makes them 9.), she told me, she'll give 'MY' tv to her sister, my aunt. ok, i know, some might think i'm so selfish. but hey, that is my tv. i was the one who chose that tv, the color, style and brand. i'm with them when they bought that. is it coincidencial that whenever we bought my tv, my dad's tv will be broken? i dunno. this is the second time that this happened to me. maybe, after we purchased my tv, 1 week or 2, my dad's tv will breakdown. and as a good daughter, i'll let him use mine 'coz he will be complaining, blahblahblah. then, they'll promise me the tv will be fix soon and just wait for months, blahblahblah. then it'll take, like, 1 yr or so before it got fix. and when that times come, the big tv will be fix, courtesy of one of her siblings, and 'MY' tv will be hand to one of my aunt in province. swell deal huh? why does it have to be mine? why not theirs? i know, i don't have to complain, i'm just their child. but why do they promise me those things that are only for the meantime? as i told some people here in myO, i can't have my own PS2 'coz my mom object about it. and her reason? "ur a grown up to play that. that's just for kids." fuck. shit. damnit. why can she give my uncle and aunt's luxuries while i can't have mine?! last year, my 2 uncle bought a new cellphone and they used my dad's credit card. honestly, they don't real need a new cellphone. they just want to invest on their status image. they just want to boast. or maybe they envy me because i'm using a colored cellphone. i don't know. i thought, they just don't want me to get ahead of them because during their times, they don't have the chance to have the life i have. then, why the fuck are they stopping those that can possibly make me happy? envy? jealous? even my relationship with raijin-sama was almost at stake then. my uncles and aunts will be saying blahblah things about me going in a relationship. agh. why the fuck are they meddling with my life? they are just my relatives.
back then, whenever i'm having this hard time in my life, i was always alone, crying alone in the dark. not until i found my very bestfriends and raijin-sama.
enough of this. sorry for this post. i just want to let it all out. i know, raijin-sama always hear this complain from me and i feel ashame telling him the same story again.
i guess that's for now. again, sorry for the long and boring rant-post. i'll try to get into all ur sites now.
ja ne~
me loves raijin-sama ^_____^
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