Wednesday, August 24, 2005

' i see you dieing on the inside '
once apon a dream ,
a bleeding , britle , weary gleam ,
with softly spoken lies ,
and tears in your eyes ,
you had to say these broken words to me ,

dont tell me your okay ,
each and every passing day ,
dont put your feelings aside ,
i see you crying on the inside .

once apon a dream ,
i heard your angel scream ,
she cryed and cryed ,
as if you had died ,
she said all of these broken words to me ,

dont tell me your okay ,
each and every passing day ,
dont put your feelings aside ,
i see you crying inside .

once apon a dream ,
like millions it would seem ,
the rain floated high , turned into the sky ,
like night this passes by and by ,
and God said these broken words to me ,

dont tell me your okay ,
each and every passing day ,
dont push your feelings aside ,
i can see you dieing on the inside .

well , how is every one doing today ? i have been feeling better actually . a friend i hadent talked to in a long time called today and she really helped cheer me up . she always does though . i wish i knew how to thank her . also along with that i recieved an e-card from another close friend that cheered me up even more ! i love all of my freinds so much . its kind of scarey though ... i doubt most of you could understand that feeling though . ^_^ but then theres nothing wrong with not understanding something . it just means you still have a life to live and lessons to learn . well i hope you have all been okay lately , and that you all have a good day . good bye .

~Sunamaru Gaara
08/24/05


Comments (1) | Permalink

Thursday, August 18, 2005

' the withered soul '
sometimes ...
when i look into peoples eyes ...
i see things ...
things that represent the soul ...
when i looked into your eyes ...
i saw a withered flower ...
engulffed in darkness ...
your soul represents a flower ...
you used to have someone ...
someone to care about ...
someone to love ...
they were your sunlight ...
they kept you strong and beautiful ...
sometimes the sun would fade ...
and you would hurt ...
and you would hide ...
and when the sun came back ...
you would stretch and blossem once again ...
a long time ago ...
you lost your sun ...
you lost it forever ...
now you remain to wither in darkness ...
only the moon will light you now ...
but sometimes ...
its just not enough ...
darkness is all your sun left behind ...
thats why you cling to it so ...
your tears like dew ...
always collecting on your peddels ...
and voices ...
in the darkness ...
tell you secrets ...
tell you lies ...
tell you fate ...
you listen ...
if only to distract you from your own lonliness ...
you learn ...
through your demons pain ...
and your own ...
you become wise ...
the withered orchid knows the most ...
the withered soul knows the truth ...
the withered love will never die ...

~Sunamaru Gaara


Comments (5) | Permalink

Sunday, August 14, 2005

I could never have been strong enough ...
My fists collide ...
with feelings inside ...
My being has died ...
until the sun raise ...

I could never have been strong enough ...

And its so hard to see ...
through mine eyes wich bleed ...
But I must succeed ...
its some thing I need ...

I could never have been strong enough ...

Nothing I can do or say ...
could ever change that feightful day ...
Still every night I cry and pray ...
that it was a dream and things arent this way ...

I could never have been strong enough ...

I know it sounds just like a myth ...
but by what beats inside my chest ...
Even untill my very last breath ...
I will defeat the cursed death ...

I could never have been strong enough ...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

i suppose this came from a feeling of hopelessness ... lately i have been doing very poorly because of these pills i must take ... the side effects have probly crashed my immunity system quite a bit ... i keep getting sick on and off ... and i do believe i now have an eating disorder thanks to it ... -_- but there are other reasons as well ... i just ... feel alittle down lately i guess ... but something will happen that will cheer me up alittle ... like always ... its just an endless cycle ... i think i am just looking at it the wrong way ... never mind my ignorance ... i hope you all have a good day ...

~Sunamaru Gaara


Comments (1) | Permalink

Saturday, August 13, 2005

apologize ...
i wanted to apologize to all for not being on reciently ... see i had to stay at my fathers house for a week while my mother went on vacation ... and my father has no internet service ... well ... i guess i am back now ... i figured i would give all who wanted it a little treat though ...


for all who would enjoy ...
Comments (1) | Permalink

The black ink
The black ink fell apon my skin
The black ink sunk deep within
The black ink makes dark flat lines
The black ink knows that the shadow lies
The black ink ate into my flesh
The black ink sees that im depressed
The black ink hears me scream inside
The black ink knows where i will hide
The black ink watches as i decend
The black ink fixes what should be mend
The black ink thinks of different ways
The black ink starts to trick and betray
The black ink gazes amongst the demons
The black ink has so many reasons
The black ink feels so dead and cold
The black ink knows its all alone
The black ink brings a silent haze
The black ink stops and finally says

... Amen ...

Comments (0) | Permalink

Friday, August 5, 2005

I felt so alive ...
My heart skipped a beat ...
And my legs became so weak ...
That time I could 've sworn ...
Because you were so worm ...

I felt so alive ...
For the very first time ...
I felt so alive ...

We held each other tight ...
And it felt so right ...
All of our demons scrame ...
But we didn 't hear a thing ...

I felt so alive ...
For the very first time ...
I felt so alive ...

I gazed into your eyes ...
And began I realized ...
You weren 't really there ...
Because life 's never fair ...

I felt so alive ...
For the very first time ...
I felt so alive ...

I awoke in pain again ...
And it seemed like a sin ...
For you to die that way ...
I wish you would have stayed ...

I felt so alive ...
For the very first time ...
I felt so alive ...

Now every thing is gray ...
But I hope that in some way ...
That with you by my side ...
That I can feel alive ...

I felt so alive ...
For the very first time ...
I felt so alive ...
For the very last time .....

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

in case you couldent tell its a dream about some one ...
Comments (0) | Permalink

ello ...
truth be told i live in texas and i traveled all the way to mississippi in a car ... there and back ... it was exhausting . but it was worth it i suppose . i was staying at a relatives while in mississippi and she cooked REAL FOOD ! that was deffinatly worth it . see she cooked stuff like eggs and bacon for breakfast where as atr home ... well lets just say i dont eat breakfast any more . and she cooked real meat and veggies ... versus the hot pockets and tv dinners at home . she just spioled me times a million . and we actually ended up doing some fun stuff . but most ppl in mississippi , even though they have the same problems , arent as corrupt or depressed as ppl in the town i live in . any way im glad to be able to get back online now . thats what i missed ... almost the most about being gone . aspecially so long .

Comments (4) | Permalink

Tuesday, July 26, 2005

notice
i just wanted to let ppl know ill be gone a week , but when i return i will get to gb s and pm s k ? later
Comments (2) | Permalink

Saturday, July 23, 2005

ahhhh this is halarious !

Comments (3) | Permalink

i like the scream of the butterly ....
when rain falls ...
apon my face ...
im baffeled by ...
its sating grace ...

like fallen angels ...
tears of vein ...
and ill never forget ...
there screams of pain ...

the scream of the butterfly ...

well , thats the poem i promised ... i hope you likey ...
anyway i found some funny pics online and thought id share them








Comments (1) | Permalink