Thursday, June 16, 2005

   qiuzzy!
LITTLE BILLY ON GETTING OLDER

Little BILLY was sitting on a park bench munching on one candy bar after another.

After the 6th one, a man on the bench across from him said,

"Son, you know eating all that candy isn't good for you. It will give you acne, rot your teeth, and make you fat."

Little BILLY replied, "My grandfather lived to be 107 years old."

"Oh?" replied the man. " Did your grandfather eat 6 candy bars at a time?"

"No" replied Little Billy, "he minded his own fucking business!!"


LITTLE BILLY ON...PHILOSOPHY


A teacher asks her class, "If there are 5 birds sitting on a fence and you shoot one of them, how many will be left?"

She calls on little BILLY.

He replies, "None, they will all fly away with the first gunshot."

The teacher replies, "The correct answer is 4, but I like your thinking."

Then little BILLY says, "I have a question for YOU. There are 3 women sitting on a bench having ice cream: One is

delicately licking the sides of the triple scoop of ice cream. The second is gobbling down the top and sucking the cone. The third is biting off thetop of the ice cream. Which one is married?"

The teacher, blushing a great deal, replies, "Well, I suppose the one that's gobbled down the top and sucked the cone."

To which Little BILLY replied, "The correct answer is 'the one with the wedding ring on,' but I like your thinking."


LITTLE BILLY ON... MATH

Little BILLY returns home from school and says he got an F in arithmetic.

"Why?" asks the father."

"The teacher asked, 'How much is 2x3?' I said 6," replied BILLY.

"But that's right!" says his dad.

"Yeah, but then she asked me, 'How much is 3x2?'"

"What's the fucking difference?" asks the father?

"That's what I said!"


LITTLE BILLY ON...ENGLISH

Little BILLY goes to school, and the teacher says, "Today we are going to learn multi-syllable words, class. Does anybody have an example of a multi-syllable word?"

BILLY says " Mas-tur-bate."

Miss Rogers smiles and says, "Wow, little BILLY, that's a mouthful."

Little BILLY says,

"No, Miss Rogers, you're thinking of a blowjob."


LITTLE BILLY ON...GRAMMAR

One day, during lessons on proper grammar, the teacher asked for a show hands from those who could use the word "beautiful" in the same sentence twice.

First she called on little Suzie, who responded with, "My father bought my

mother a beautiful dress and she looked beautiful in it."

"Very good, Suzie," replied the teacher. She then called on little
Michael.

"My mommy planned a beautiful banquet and it turned out beautifully."

The teacher responded, "Excellent, Michael!" Then, she reluctantly called on little BILLY.

"Last night, at the dinner table, my sister told my father that she was pregnant, and he said "Beautiful, just fucking beautiful."

little billy needs to get his mouth washed

Therapy
17 WAYS TO MAINTAIN YOUR INSANITY:


1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your
Parked Car With Sunglasses on and
point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars.
See If They Slow Down.

2. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, Ask If They Want
Fries with that.

3. Put Your Garbage Can On Your Desk
And Label It "In".

4. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker
For 3 Weeks. Once Everyone Has
Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions,
Switch To Espresso.

5. Finish All Your Sentences With; "In Accordance With The Prophecy."

6. Don't Use Any Punctuation When Speaking.

7. As Often As Possible, Skip Rather
Than Walk.

8. Ask People What Sex They Are.
Laugh Hysterically After They Answer.

9. Specify That Your Drive-through
Order Is "To Go."

10. Sing Along At The Opera.

11. Go To A Poetry Recital And Ask
Why The Poems Don't Rhyme

12. Put Mosquito Netting Around Your
Work Area And Play Tropical
Sounds All Day.

13. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your
Friends You Can't Attend
their Party because You're Not In The Mood.

14. Have Your Co-workers Address You by
Your Wrestling Name, Rock-Hard.

15. When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream "I Won! I Won!"

16. When Leaving The Zoo, Start Running Towards The Parking Lot,
Yelling "Run For Your Lives, They're Loose!!"

17. Tell Your Children Over Dinner,
"Due To The Economy, We Are Going
To Have To Let One Of You Go."


its time to change my theme!wat shall it b?


ne1 kno wats wrong wit Soulstalker?
again does ne1 kno how to do links?i have a quiz to put up so help ok? that'll be nice thanks

my life is as boring as a life can get!its only exams and exams and exams...

Happy Father's Day everyone...i Hate my dad...-_-'

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