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• Casey Hengstebeck
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• Become a surgeon
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• Marksman
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Sunday, February 5, 2006
It is now time for New rules
New Rule, You might think this one is self-evident, but: don't watch TV when you drive. A man is on trial for a fatal crash that happend while he was driving and watching "Road Trip". A moving automobile isn't a theater. It's a place for eating, drinking, talking on the phone, doing your hair, checking your amkeup, and getting blown.
New Rule, No more "talent competitions: at beauty pageants. Being hot is a talent. The only reason we endure watching Miss Texas play the xylophone in the first place was because it made her breasts juggle. The talent contest is just an interminable delay to the whole point of the night: getting date raped by an athlete.
New Rule, Enough with the bitching about the credit card companies. Sure, they're a bunch of predatory loan sharks, but your credit problems may also have something to do with the fact that you just can't stop buying stuff. So, set down you $5, double mocha, no foam latte and your plasma screen, internet accesible, camera cell phone and face the fact that there's only one surefire wat to erase credit card debt-- by picking up a big, shiny pair of scissors... and cutting your wife in half.
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