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Saturday, April 22, 2006
New Rules Special: Earth Day
New Rule, the democrats must take the rightful place as the party of enviromental protection. For too long the republicans have gotten away with rolling there eyes every time someone mentions the planet. Like it was smurf forest instead of the one and only place we can SURVIVE!
Now, today is earth day, the day where Bush takes a picture in front of a tree and Dick Cheney shots whatever flys out of it. As dispicable as this administrations take on this issue is, this never was their issue. Al Gore made his living talking in the senate about the enviroment. He makes his living talking about the enviroment now, which you can see in his up coming movie "The Inconvienient Truth" coming out in may. In fact the only time he shut up, was when he was running for president.
That's why democrats keep losing. They shrink, yes like girlie men, from making the counter arguement. They complain "How can we make our point in a 30 second campaign ad?" Like this: Republicans want your children to die. There, I did it and with 28 seconds to spare.
Is this scaring us, well somebody ought to. How can the republicans take such seemingly random and bogus issues like boys kissing, and activist judges, and immigrants pouring over our borders, and whip everyone into a frenzy over it, but the democrats can't do the same for armageddon. Hey, you wanna know what else is pouring over our borders: Greenland.
Listen, republicans do alot of things badly, like plan wars, set budgets, and .... Dance. But they sure do understand that the one who wins the election is the one who scares the most crap out of the voters. "Gay marriage, Terror alerts, the war on christmas. How long til Janet Jackson's tit strikes again. And now it's even bigger. But the enviroment is real. You seeit, you can smell it. In parts of Houston, you can pick parts of it up and use it to lube your car.
And if there is a face you wish to use to personify this evil, he was in the news this week. Yes, the retiring, handsomely compenstated, chairman of Exxon/Mobile, Lee"Fat Bastard" Raymond. Now, if you see this man and it looks like he's been eating the earth, he has. Even worse, his company has been using fake science to confuse people into thinking that global warming is still to iffy to act on. You know if the democrats can't make this prick their next Willie Horton, then they might as well go ahead and nominate that nice blonde lady who married Bill Clinton.
Ladies and gentlemen, I fear for my kids future and I don't even have kids. Glacier national park in Montana, you know the park named for it's glaciers, had 150 when the parked opened, and now has 26 left. Now, if we don't start taking care of places like Montana we are going to faced with an even bigger problem: Gay married men with no place to go fishing.
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