myOtaku.com: GhostlyNinja

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Birthday
• 1988-10-28
Gender
• Male
Member Since
• 2006-02-20
Real Name
• Josh

myOtaku.com: GhostlyNinja

Thursday, June 21, 2007

The World's pain... 2:57am

So here is what has been bothering me for quite a while now... I have now fully realized that there is always someone in the world who is hurting mentally, physically, and/or emotionally.... There are people losing people they care about all the time and there isn't much we can do about it. I feel terrible right now that I have been ignoring some of my friends both online and in real life... Some of those friends may have really looked up to me or cared about me in some way and I puch them to the back of my mind. I feel so bad right now that it is making me feel sick to my stomach... The thought of people in pain because of my actions tears me apart and i can't change anything that I have done in the past. Sometimes I really miss the past and the people that were there, but then I realize that I may not be with the people that I am with today and that makes me feel bad too. I wish there was a way to stop all of the pain in the world... Most of these feelings started to become very clear to me after watching a certain anime that is quite depressing... I don't know how to fix things between some people and others I know, but am a little nervous to try. I was just sitting here thinking of all the people that i have become friends with in my life time and how many of them I have let go... the thought is very depressing and it hurts me so much. I'm asking myself, why did that have to happen or could I have dome something to different to make things turn out better? For example, shouldn't I have noticed the signs of when my dog was getting sick and had him treated??? Why didn't I notice? Was I too busy with other things? Did I not want to notice? Did I not give him enough attention!?!?!
This is goin through my head about every body that I have ever talked to or had some connection too. I don't know what to do right now... I'm just going to go to bed and hope that things will be better tomorrow... but I realize, better is an opinion and no matter how i feel, there will always be mourning and pain every where in the world. Not just in my little circle of knowledge. I can't change the fact that the sun rises and falls no matter what any of us do, it won't change until the time when everything ends.
*sigh* I could use someone to talk to...

I'm just going to go to bed now... Hopefully my next post will be better...

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