Saturday, September 24, 2005

So the very sexi guys above are the gent's that make up the lovely Tantric. The VERY SEXI one in black (Hugo Ferreira ~ Vocals) is my NEW hunny! J/K!I guess I'm just resisting the urge to call Jake, but I think all is best left alone beacause today would have been our 5 month. *tear* Well, um..Happy Birthday Leo! Hmm, I'm so bored. I really want to go hang with someone but I'm too lazy to get calls out. Dude, I'm so cold. Exspecially my hands cause I've been at my computer playing Hearts and Snood for who knows how long. Gotta love a good game of Snood to get rid of any negitive emotions. Dowload it @ snood.com! Nerf, I'm loosing it.
Play that funky music white boy!

Felicia

Tantric ~ Falling Away

How did we let this s*** get complicated
When all of this time we knew that we were wasting

Why do I feel like I always fall through
Sometimes I feel like I just want to be you
Now that I know that it's harder to be true
I realize that I have to believe you

And it's so hard to see
But it's never enough, never enough
Anyway

How can I start the day without a destiny
How can I live again, you got the best of me
And I've tried just to feel it from another state
And it keeps on falling and falling away

How did we let our lives get over jaded
We're not the ones who asked to stay belated

Why do I feel like I always fall through
Sometimes I feel like I just want to be you
Now that I know that it's harder to be true
I realize that I have to believe you

And it's so hard to see
But it's never enough, never enough
Anyway

How can I start the day without a destiny
How can I live again, you got the best of me
And I've tried just to feel it from another state
And it keeps on falling and falling

How can I start the day without a destiny
How can I live again, you got the best of me
And I've tried just to feel it from another state
And it keeps on falling and falling away

And it's hard to see
When it's something you don't believe
Cuz I've tried everything
But it's never enough, never enough
Anyway
How can I start the day without a destiny
How can I live again, you got the best of me
And I've tried just to feel it from another state
And it keeps on falling and falling

How can I start the day without a destiny
How can I live again, you got the best of me
And I've tried just to feel it from another state
And it keeps on falling and falling away

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Friday, September 23, 2005

Yeah, so yesterday Jake and I broke it off. *sniffle sob* Oh well, at least I got my one last kiss. I guess that's a sign of closure for me. It helps me let go when there aren't the fireworks that always were there. I'm going to miss him so much! All of today I just sat and remebered all of the really good times we had. It's had to smile though. I mean really smile and laugh. All of my girls *and guys!* are wonderfull, but this one is going to take some time. I just never thought our forever would end. I mean I seriously thought he was my "one". And honestly, I still do. But he needs to figure a few things out. I really hope that we'll get back together. He promised me that if he ends up regretting it, and I'm still single and in "love" with him, we could possibly give it another shot.I guess my plans are now just to stay single and figure out who I am. I don't think my heart can take another relationship right now. To my girls: just let it alone, I have to mend this one on my own. It's not something I'm gunna wat to talk about with you untill wounds heal a bit. For now, just let it go......

Felicia

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Monday, September 19, 2005

Am I the only one that feels alone
Though, all is home
Emotions flow

Am I the only one that hears the tears run down my face
Would anybody recognize at all

Cause I know
I'm so slow
But I'm tryin
And I'm still dyin to know
Say you won't leave for the rest of my

Life's the only thing that deals the pain
Like pouring rain
Breeding hate

And I don't wanna do no wrong
My God, it's been so long
Please comfort me
Before I go insane
Rest of My Life~ Unwritten Law

So this is my theme song, if you will. I'm reading a really good book right now.
It's called "The Druid King" and it's wicked sweet.
Hmm, I talked to Leo today. It was pretty cool. You know that Gwen Stefani song "Cool"?
Well, I think it fits Leo and I now. "After all that we've been through, I know we're cool" It was kinda nice
chatting with him. It's been a while since we actually laughed around eachother. I know he misses me
in some deep part of his heart and I miss him too because we were eachother's "first love". He'll always have
a place in my heart. Lol, just don't tell Jake that. Speaking of Jake....
He's got something close to a mild flu. I miss his laugh so much. Ever since a few days before school, he hasn't really smiled or laughed.
I'm a little worried. I'm worried about a few people as of right now. I won't admit it to them, but I am.
mainly because I love them so very much and when they aren't acting like themselves..well..ya know.
But I should be going,
Felicia

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Sunday, September 18, 2005

"I'll forever love you, even in your doom
We'll always be together cuz we're both under the moon
I'll forever love you, even in your doom
We'll always be together"
ICP~ Under The Moon
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Hey All,

I'm back to doing poetry again. I definatly need an outlet for all this pent up~ness. I guess I've just been overly worried about a few people recently and it's taking a toll.And it dosen't help that Jake and I are drifting apart. I'm losing another person who was close to me. Wow, this happens way to often. I'll never understand it. I meet someone, get close, in some cases fall in love, then something happens and I lose everything. The thing is that I can't figure out what I'm doing wrong. Anybody able to help?

Toodles,

Felica
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Saturday, September 17, 2005

Sometimes a song says it all.
So I'm chronicaly posting song lyrics on my Xanga so I figured I'd post one on here. No, I won't say who it's for but it is for someone.

If You're Gone
Matchbox Twenty
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I think I've already lost you
I think you're already gone
I think I'm finally scared now
You think i'm weak, I think you're wrong
I think you're already leaving
Feels like your hand is on the door
I thought this place was an empire
Now I'm relaxed, I can't be sure

I think you're so mean
I think we should try
I think I could need this in my life
I think I'm scared
I think too much
I know it's wrong, it's a problem I'm dealing

If you're gone, maybe it's time to come home
There's an awful lot of breathing room
but I can hardly move
If you're gone, baby you need to come home, oh come home
There's a little bit of something me
in everything in you

I bet you’re hard to get over
I bet the room just won’t shine
I bet my hands I can stay here
I bet you need - more than you mind

I think you're so mean
I think we should try
I think I could need this in my life
I think I'm just scared that I know too much
I can't relate and that's a problem I'm feeling

If you're gone, maybe it's time to come home
There's an awful lot of breathing room
but I can hardly move
If you're gone, baby you need to come home
There's a little bit of something me
in everything in you

I think you're so mean
I think we should try
I think I could need this in my life and
I think I'm scared
Do I talk too much
I know it's wrong, it's a problem I'm dealing

If you're gone, maybe it's time to come home
There's an awful lot of breathing room
but I can hardly move
If you're gone, hell baby you need to come home
There's a little bit of something me
in everything in you
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Tuesday, September 6, 2005

Dedicated to the one who introduced me to Tantric
"Chasing After" by Tantric
You said that you'd never hurt me
But you did anyway

My Piece of mind now deserts me
(It fills my mind with despair)
And here I lie

Down in the cold again
But still I do pretend
That I have no one
But myself to count on

Cuz I've tried to work things out
But a little mistake has slowed me down
To find out what I'm chasing after

Another day of this conflict
Once again I've bit my tongue

For this greater reward here
Life's turned into somewhat of a lie

Down in the cold again
But still I do pretend
That I have no one
But myself to count on

Cuz I've tried to work things out
But a little mistake has slowed me down
To find out what I'm chasing after

Who do you want to be
If this is what you see
Who do you fucking blame
You're driving me insane

Cuz I've tried to work things out
But a little mistake has slowed me down
To find out what I'm chasing after

Cuz I've tried to work things out
But a little mistake has slowed me down
To find out what I'm chasing after

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Saturday, September 3, 2005

I Have Been Found...
Kyo,
You're little stalker friend has found me. How he did I'll never fully know but he did. Shame, I thought it would be sooner than this....

Everyone Else:
So, ah, yeah. I can't wait for school to start so I'll actually have something to tell you people. Right now the song is "Sound Siren" by Unwritten Law *my lovelys!* That's all that is new.

Loves,
Felicia
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Saturday, August 27, 2005

Twenty years from now I am gonna look back, and remember that you were that one person who could turn every frown into a smile in a few simple words. That person who lifted my head when I was losing faith in myself. That one person who carried tears On her shoulders after every fight,Every break up, every death. That one person who always knew what I was feeling by the look on my face.
That one person who accepted who I was when everyone else laughed in my face. That one person that accepted every decision I made believing that I’d make the right decisions. That one person who knew who I really was. That one person that made the biggest difference in my life. My best friend.

Not much went on lately. Got my schedual for school. that's about it.


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Thursday, August 25, 2005

Hey All!
I can't wait for school to start so I can see him everyday again. And so I can see all yall who put up with me year after year. Just so no one dies when they see me on the first day: I've gone preppy. Yeah, I know, it scared me too. But Areo led to AF, and then A&E and it snowballed. In a way, we all knew it would happen though. LoL. Don't worry, I haven't lost my punk style (all of it's still in my closet) but it's just taking a breather.

Ick, I work Friday and every friday after till the 9th. Really don't want to, but I need the money to pay off that stupid bass. -.-

BTW, does anyone watch the O.C?? Jake's forcing me to sit down and watch the new season but I've only watched one episode in my entire life so I have no clue what went on in the first two seasons. Anyone able to help????

Thanks and loves!

Felicia <3

Wicked Icon site *lots of anime based ones, but it takes a while to load*:

http://www.xanga.com/home.aspx?user=kickin_iconz

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Thursday, August 4, 2005

   Happy Birthday To Me!!!!
WHooT! I'm 15 now! Cake and pop for everyone!


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