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• snarkles4673
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• Gnostica

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Birthday
• 1986-11-24
Gender
• Female
Location
• NY
Member Since
• 2005-06-22
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• waitress
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• Hope

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• being me
Anime Fan Since
• Pokemon
Favorite Anime
• Inuyasha
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• to become a person I once was
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• playing bass watching anime reading writing playing nitendo
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• i dont know what my talents are!?




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myOtaku.com: gnostica


Tuesday, July 19, 2005

  sunset has been broken now the darkness has conquered me yet again. I do not know the steps I must take in order to heal. I really am lost and I am losing myself more and more. I can not withstand the pain of not having y brothers and sister around, the pain is enough to make me become a bitter and broken soul. I have been engulfed with my own selfishness to realize that I am this way. How to change, to start anew, is a question I have not been able to answer for quite some time. I am slowl hating everything and anything, why must I become this way. Why must I become something I have been that I said I would never be like. I am a fool for my own hypocritical behavior. I can not stand this horid person I disguise myself with. Why do I wear this mask. The truth I want to discover but I am not willing to change it. WHY!!!!!!!!! I hate who I have become how come I am not willing to change. How come I am saddened all the time. How come I am am bitter towards the man I love? It is not him I am bitter against its myself and that I am not willing to change. I am bitter because I see the wa I really want to be in him and I am unable to become this. Its so hard, I just want to wake up from this terrible dream and realize I was always that way and I hope one day I might be able too. If there was a magic potion I might be able to take to be the person I once was, I know I would be happy again. What is the first step?? Please let me know I want to change but the first step is hard to see so I put it aside so I can't figure it out.

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