Wednesday, February 2, 2005

I have 2 more exams today. I'll be taking the exam for Cisco in a little bit. I hope I'm ready for it. I didn't study and I didn't take the practice that I could've taken. I've also got another one next class. I'll probably just draw a pisture in auto cad for that exam. well I must go to take those test's.

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Monday, January 31, 2005

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today starts my exams. I have my seventh period one later today. Then for the rest of the week I get out half day except for friday. cuz I'm off that day. it's a teacher workday, no students. I should have studied for them but I didn't and I won't for any of them. my day was ok yesterday. I went to church in the morning. I played a game of pool, I lost though. then ate some cookies and listened to the lesson for maybe 5 minutes, the rest of the time I can't remember what I was doing. then came home, got fussed at for doing my homework so I had to do that, I couldn't even turn on my computer the whole day. I was mad about that but I did get my homework done. I think I like my algebra 2/trig teacher, she makes it easy to cheat on the review sheets that she gives us. at the end of it she gives us a sheet that has all the anwers on it. It's supposed to be used for checking your anwsers but I used it for smething else. not to ckeck what I had but to get them. So I got that done. and later that day I finally got online for about half an hour then I went to bed. I also ordered something from ebay. it is another wallscroll to add to my collection. This one is from Gundam Wing. finally I get one from Gundam Wing. it's my fav anime and I didn't even have a wallscroll from it yet but now I do. It's a pic of Deathscythe Hell and Duo. I also want to get one from Inuyasha. then I would have one from all my most favorite animes. I already have one from Rurouni Kenshin/Samurai X, Trigun, and Cowbop Bebop.

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Saturday, January 29, 2005

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I wrote another song today. The name is "Searching". I hope u guy's like it as much as the other's. I've lived my life without a purpose. All the people say they care, then they just brush me off. What is the point to my life if I've no one to share it with? The mask I put on every morning doesn't get rid of the sorrow. My broken heart can't take this pain anymore. I've been hurt to many times and now I'm searching for the one who won't hurt me. I'm searching for a better life (a better life) I'm searching for the one (the one) I'll keep searching until I find what I'm looking for. I've been searching for too long. It's time I found what I'm searching for. I'm tired of living my life this way. I can't go on anymore. Every time I wanna get close you just push me away again. I've tried so many times but it doesn't work. You're not the one. You don't want me for who I am You just want what I got. I'm searching for a better life (a better life) I'm searching for the one (the one) searching....... just searching....... for the one that will cure my pain. I'm still searching for that better life. I won't ever stop..... never ever stop...... I finally found the one I was looking for. You are the one, the one I need, the one who really cares. I'm searching just searching I'll keep searching for you....... I wrote it as a duet.

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Thursday, January 27, 2005

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I wrote another song and I'm posting it as well. The name of it is Suicide The torment you fuckers put me through is too hard to bear. Not matter how many times I say shit it's still there. You treat me like shit. You toss me to the dogs. You don't give a shit for me. You think I'm better off DEAD!!! My suicide is my only escape. The only thing that cures my pain. My suicide is my last reserve. The only thing that relieves the burning. I don't care how it's done. You don't care how it's done. You just want to see my blood. My crimson blood that I need to shed. It's don't matter whether by gun, knife, drugs..... Maybe this cocaine might cure the pain. The smoling barrel of my death. That's all I want. This gun pressed to my head. I pull the trigger and then I'm dead. This blunt knife won't get rid of it. Fuck the knife. My life is fucked. Take me away from it all. My suicide is my only escape. The only thing that cures my pain. My suicide is my last reserve. The only thing that relieves the burning. My suicide is all I want. Drain away the pain. Drown out all the noise with the sounds of my ceaseless screaming, as I slit my throat. Fuck you, I don't give a shit anymore. I don't care how you feel. You don't care about me. This is my only way from your lies. You bitch, you took everything from me, so just leave me my suicide. My suicide. My suicide is all I need, it's all I want. No one gives a shit. Why would anyone care? Fuck the world!!! GOODBYE!!!!....... I don't like this new one as much as I like my first one. I made a mistake in my last post. I said I got a 79% on my cisco test I ment to say 72.9%. That's still a good grade when compared to some of the other grades other ppl got on the test. right now I have a review sheet to work on for Cisco. for anyone who doesn't know Cisco is a computer class in which you learn a lot about networking. such as what devices are used and what they do etc.

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Wednesday, January 26, 2005

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I just took a test for Cisco and I got a 79%. a D. I thought I did better than that but I guess not. o well. I'll just have to try harder next time. today was boring like every other day. I wrote a paper in english on a book I read last night. though I only read about the first 5 chapters of it out of 30 some chapters. I think I did good on it, however. then in History I hoped to sleep some more but he made us work on a review sheet for our exams next week. I didn't have mine so I just sat with a friend of mine and we talked and worked on her review sheet. but we mostly talked the class away. During that period we had a fire drill at school. that was fun. I got to walk outside and feel that fresh 50 degree air. She said I was an idiot for not wearing a coat ut there but it really wasn't that cold. I also had a test in algebra 2/trig. I think I did good on that one as well. and I had another test in Physics. I don't remember what I got but I only missed 4 questions out of 15. that's not including the essay we had to write though. I've been taking too many tests lately. and then I'll have even more next week cause of exams. but then I will get out early on tuesday, wednesday, and thursday. and then friday I'm off. so that will be a joy. I also wrote another song. I don't like it as much as my first one but I still like it. I'll post it up tomorrow. well I must run now.

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Tuesday, January 25, 2005

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just to let everyone know I'm think I'm much better than I was in my last post. Thank you all for your comments. it helped me to realize that there are ppl that still care about me. and I realize that now. thank you. last night I decided to write a song. I call it "I never meant-" I never Meant- I can't be a perfect person no matter how hard I try to be. There's so many things I never meant to do. I wish that I could take it all away. I regret what I did every day. and it kills me to think that we may never be the same way. That's why I take this Knife to my hand. I can't withstand the thought of never loving you again. I'm sorry I did those things-I never meant to do. and all that pain I put you through. I wish I didn't do that to you. That's why I take this knife to my hand. I can't withstand the thought of never loving you again. I can't be a perfect person. There's so many things-I never meant to do. I'm sorry I did those things-I never meant to do. and that's why I take this knife to my hand. I can't withstand the thought of never loving you again. Is this knife to my hand the price for your love again? Those awful things I did to you-I never meant to do. I never meant to do. I really never meant to do...........those terrible things I did to you. I'm sorry for those things I never meant to do....... I really like it and would u tell me what u think of it.

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Sunday, January 23, 2005

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stupid scissors. I tried to cut my arm with them but my scissors aren't sharp enough they just left marks but not cuts.*sigh* I guess I'll just have to try it with a knife.*sigh* I don't feel like visiting anyone's site today.sorry.

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Saturday, January 22, 2005

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ohayo gozaimasu it's 12:33 and I'm so freakin' cold. but it might be b/c it's about 20 degrees outside and that doesn't help much for warmth. yesterday was a pointless day since we had thursday off. I think my exams start next week maybe the week after that I don't know. sometime. I took a test yesterday in english. I also got another test back for english. I got a *drumroll* 64%!!!!. YES!! it's a "F". but on;y 1 point away from a "D". I still failed it though. I don't really care though.-_-. I don't like that class. All city orchestra was cancelled for me due to inclement weather. The Junior ring dance was also postponed due to the weather. but I don't care about that I wasn't going to it anyway. just give me my ring that's all I want. well I g2g. I'm not really supposed to be on this early anywayz.

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Friday, January 21, 2005

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I wasn't very lucky today. we had yesterday off but today we have to go to school. even though it snowed it didn't get cold enough to freeze so we still had school. I didn't want to go b/c I have a packet that I was supposed to do for english that I didn't do but o well I just won't do it.

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Thursday, January 20, 2005

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well. first I would like to say thank you to god and to someother ppl. because I DON'T HAVE SCHOOL TODAY!!!!!!! yes that's right school was cancelled for today. we get a small dusting and they close school. but that's b/c of the ice. you see it didn't get above freezing last night so all the snow we had everywhere froze, but when I looked outside I didn't see any ice anywhere. but that's fine with me. I still don't have school. so there won't be much to post about today.

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