Tuesday, June 8, 2004

GAY ALIENS FOUND IN UFO WRECK

Never until this day did I dare imagine how far the stupidity of humanity (or at least tabloid newspapers) at large reached. That's right, folks: that headline is taken straight from the cover of the only black-and-white magazine line to be left utterly and forever untouched on the racks by the cash at the grocery store. And it got me thinking--who buys these things, anyway? My first instinct would be to imagine it's the people who find the headlines funny (to laugh at, as oppose to with, of course), and feel like showing them to their friends. However, it would seem that this cannot be true. After all--how can something that takes itself seriously live solely off of being mocked? And then there is the question of whether or not they do take themselves seriously. I have only one thing to say to that question: Well, I fucking hope not. Or are there really that many people out there, in the world, who buy into this crap? I mean, honestly: looking at the clearly-modiphied images of "every one's fav celebs" with pot bellies (I don't know what they're trying to push with some of these headlines--what do you mean Ashton Cutcher (sp?) is pregnant?! : O ), and the plastic human (okay: I will give them that they elongated the backs of the skulls a tad) skelletons (the kind Ms. Frizzle keeps by the classroom door) groping each other... Aiya. That's all I can say: Aiya. So, now comes another question: who here is willing to admit to having ever purchased one of them? I haven't, and wouldn't admit it if I had (And reduce myself to the lowliest of the low of mortal beings?! I think not!), but if there's any one here who has, would you mind telling me exactly what you find/found at all in-drawing about whatever crappy title you own? I highly--highly--doubt that any one here has even considered purchasing a sleezy tabloid newspaper/magazine, but hey. As for this specific headline... What is with it? Do they (whoever they are) really think people care? Would it not be sufficiant to merely state that alien skelletons (ignoring the fact that this is clearly false information...) were found in a UFO wreck? The country has all but completely forgotten about the issue of gay rights and marriage (The only people who seem to care, still, are those bitchy cult-members who whine at us about "saving marriage" over the radio--get a life. I mean, really.), so it's unlike that aspect of the headline has any degree of shock value. Perhaps if they had concocted this headline a few months earlier, it woudl have sold a few more copies (or gotten a bit more attention), but it's too late for that. And aliens. Who cares about aliens any more? Eight-year-olds? Pft. It kind of makes you wonder what these people went through before resigning themselves to publishing tabloid newspapers.

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Saturday, June 5, 2004

*babbling in Japanese*

"Give me that flashlight!" Just a little bit more Uber-Ninja dialogue there for you.^^ Truth be told, I am not sure as to whether or not this game would sell, were it ever to actually be created: not only is its plot hopelessly random and not there but the blood and gore would probably render it banned iN New Zealand. Then again, sheep don't represent a very notable percentage of video-game consumers, do they? (Sorry, Hong Hing: couldn't resist.) I'll give it to you that the name is a real eye-catcher, long-winded, strange, almost self-contradictory. It's the kind of title that makes one stop, pause, and, inevitably, wonder "What the hell is this thing?" It's the kind of game you off-handedly mention having seen (just because the name is so the-adjectives-I've-used-before), but never actually buy. After all, how could something so foolish be worth your time and money? However, there is always the question of how one of five or six "collectable" (who actually collects these kinds of things?--you'd go broke in no time, flat...) boxes, with the title scrawled across the front in what is meant to look like blood (or so I'd imagine the cover) could possibly not become an instant hit. If only I knew anything about video games. Alas. Let's make a couple of lists, shall we? It will help us annalyze the probability of Uber-Ninja's actually becoming known to more than seven or eight people. Reasons why it wouldn't sell: -it would be 0% fan-service, because that stuff's just over-done by this point -it would be rated at least M for violence/gore -it would make no sense what-so-ever -it would contain no angsty, "hot" characters -it would defy all logic, the (often minute) sense of RPGs, sports video games, dating games, fighter games, and just about everything else -its sound-track would be obscure, and mostly made-up of over-100-years-old instrumental compositions -the words in its dialogue would be too large for all but the elite (w00t) -Dango (yep, that's her name--hee^^) would be all but impossible to understand, unless you 1)were very lucky 2) spoke Japanese fluently Reasons why it would sell: -the graphics would be drop-dead gorgeous -the blood would be drop-dead gorgeous -it would be utterly hilarious to play -it would be so satirical, "they" might even dubb it "intelligent" -it would contain mroe senseless violence than all but the elite can handle -the voice-actors would be perfect -the misleading-adds would sucker people into buying it -one of its "collector" boxes would have a picture of Dango (as in the character) holding a samurai sword dripping with blood, smiling wickedly on the front -it would be rated at least M, and probably be banned in New Zealand -we'd burn you if you didn't buy it (that is, we'd circulate around vendor's locations, and stand next to the shelves where it was held--if you looked at it and put it back down, we'd light you on fire >:^D) So, what do you guys think? Would you buy a game that met the above criteria, entitled "Uber-Ninja Killer-Snowboarding of DOOM"? (The "of DOOM" would be splattered across in what looked like blood, because you know...it's better that way. The cast would include the following: Young Ninja Bored with his life at the time, Young Ninja told his beloved mother and father that he was moving on to seek his fortune. In Spain. Spaniard A loveable, daft, noble young man armed with a fencing sword, Spaniard tags along with you for some unkown reason. Dango Japanese school-girl, trained in the art of Kendo. You see her for the first time when a guy on a subway, downtown Tokyo, tries to molest her. She teaches him a powerful lesson about what metal rods can do to your bones if you're not careful. You then must face her in a live-or-do-her-homework battle in DDR. She speaks entirely in Japanese unless, like I said, you are one of two things. David For some reason, it was decided that my friend needed to be included in the game. I don't know why, because he's basically a total pansy. : / He'd fight with the handle from his back-pack, if he fought at all. Man, it'd take forever to explain: you'd never know what that handle was unless you got a detailed description and demonstration of how it works. Aiya... He'd be the healing character, or simply the useless character. And there you have it: your party. So--what's the verdict?

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Friday, June 4, 2004

Spaniard! You've been impaled! Nooo! How could you do this to me?! You were too beautiful for this world...!!!

"Uhh...Ninja? I'm right here. That's a corpse." You just wait until Uber Ninja's an actual game and not just some crazy thing my friends and I take great delight in adding detail to!!! Then, that exchange will be famous and considered hilarious by all! You just wait... Then nobody will look at you funny when you run around screaming "Who's up for some uber-ninja snowboarding?!" No more will they look upon us as a collection of failures! >:^O We will own you all, and there's nothing you will be able to do about it. (That is: if.) *** It might sound weird, but I always, at this time of the year, have trouble deciding which I loath more utterly: the school year? or the summer? During the summer, I find myself forced into more boring, painfull, stress-inducing activies than during the school year. During the school year, I have a chance to get away from my family for about ten hours a day. This means that I don't have to have everything I say argued with, don't have to constantly hear that there is no comprehendable reason for my being allowed into academic math, that I'm greedy and rude, that I should talk more etc... for most of my waking hours. For two months of every year, I am stuck with this twelve hours a day (the half I'm not sleeping through), more often than not on a boat, with no degree of privacy aside from when one is in the head, no A/C, and NO COMPUTER. I know I must sound irritating and angst-ridden, but I have realized that there's really no part of the year (as a whole) that I enjoy. I've gotten to a point where I simply don't like being at home, where "Don't think there's anything special about you. I don't care how smart you think you are." and "You never have any regard for any one else." These two statements, the like of which I hear all-too-often, are probably the worst things I could ever hope to hear from my mother, of all people. The second one used to make me question my actions, and wonder if I was greedy and rude, but you know...whatever. Just. Whatever. I'm tired of trying to guess what she wants me to say and do every waking moment of my life. I can't help it if I'm not acing everything in school--and if I can, I don't care. And I don't care about the narrowed eyes and grunts of disgust when I tell her that I did tell her I was going to have a test, that I am capable of understanding more-than-basic things. And I don't care if she claims that I have "too much freedom." I can't help but O_o in referance to that, because I get yelled at for staying up past eleven on weekends. I remember when she wasn't trying to be a "perfect mother", when she didn't hound me while I was eating, when I could sit and draw for hours without it being a waste of my time. I remember when I had any shred of respect for myself. *** You ever notice how little kids are so motivated, until things start to matter? Life's funny that way, huh?

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Wednesday, June 2, 2004

ISS: three letters of your worst nightmare.

Not only is it boring as crap, but it's unpredictable and irritatingly dinamic, as well. When you are getting 51% in a course, you can only lay the blame on yourself. However, when the entire class is getting 50% in a course, you can only lay the blame on the teacher. (No exageration took place in the above sentences.) Apparently, I have to complete a three-page essay and two assignments (one of which I already handed in...@_@) by 8:50am, tomorrow. What. Fun. *yawn* *** On a positive note, I will soon be having my hands on Gravitation Number Five. *maniacal laughter* I read Sammie-chan's copy, but you know... I WANT MY OWN. I utilized the larger font to display how much I want it. : P Never, ever, ever, ever play frisbe at 10:30pm, in the rain. You can't see it until it's hitting you in the face because your cousin was all talking at you when your sister chose to throw it at your head. Well, that's one lesson leared. I like the Law Set Down by Justin: "Jeffrey, old friend, anything is possible when you are a ninja." : ) (No, he didn't say that to me. *chuckle* I mean, my name's not Jeffrey...O_o"") Oh, and let's all blame anything Inane does to irk us in the future on Mr. Regalado, as he is now one of them. We're proud of you, man. EDIT: "Katie (Sakura): A real go-getter, she rounds out the Taebo Tactical Team, and provides the much-needed intelligence to go with Darrell's gusto and Sammy's gloominess. She's very smart, and is always focused on studying even you don't realize it. However, even she has a dark side when you get too close (so watch out, or better yet, tune in!). She, as well as most of the female Taeboists, likes Sammy and tries to impress him. Darrell, however, does not approve of this." I feel special now.

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Friday, May 28, 2004

Just to see how it ends...!!!

If I do not get my hands on this (and the one before it T_T) soon, I think my head is going to explode. I have volumes one through four, and am utterly dead for money. I have a total of eight dollars to my name: this means that it's no-new-manga day for Godel until I can save up enough to buy more. T_T Oh well, it's unlike I'm unhappy with what I spent my last hundred dollars on. : D And now, every one thinks I'm insane. Huzzah! *confetti* After having watched Gar and Moni-chan play it, I have come to the conclusion that Animal Crossing is the single most undeniably weird game on the face of this planet. *** I note, with some amusement, that you can always tell who the cool (by my standards XP) people in the class are simply by looking at them. They're either genuinely asleep, reading comic books, reading Adbusters collections, drawing pictures of stick people dying/killing/killing sheep in creative ways, or illustrating the desks. Truth be told, I bring this up because I find it quite funny that, during math class, if you look at the students, about five of them are reading either Gravitation or Naruto. Something else that amuses me is how my male friends have started following me around, demanding that I lend them my Shounen Ai manga. Woosh. Their excuse? "You made me read the first part! I want to see how it ends! Now gimmeeeeee...!!" *muffled laughter*

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Thursday, May 27, 2004

The Hindenburg was a giant zeplin...

There is nothing--I repeat, nothing, like running out of your English classroom after the final bell has rung for the day, moving as fast as you possibly can, in order to get to the dumpster in the parkinglot before any one else. Try it sometime--you'll agree. As an explanation for the above, I will say this, with as much disgust as is possible while typing: The library at my school threw away about 300 books, along with about 800 pages of sheet music, today. I find this appalling. In fact, I (along with about ten of my closer peers) find it appalling enough to be willing to Climb into a garbage dumpster and dig through it. And, hey, I wasn't the only one. There were a good number of people digging through the "trash". It was pretty cool: books, sheet music, old posters. There was an abundace of posters with cars on them (they were rather huge), so we made a hole in the driver's side of the wind-shield, and stuck Gil's head through it.^_^ He, and several others, ran around the parking lot screaming "Vrooooom!" And so, I have two large cardboard boxes of books sitting in my front hallway, waiting to be given to the Salvation Army. Ahh, good times. (The first thing I did upon entering the house was wash my hands.^^) Speaking of washage...if I were against animal testing, I think I'd start a mass-protest. I would rally as many willing people as possible, and make them boycot soap of all kinds. >:^O Ah man, the strings sucked major ass last night: especially me. I was hacking up my lungs during the cello duet, and finally had to run into the hall, in order to avoid ruining Yin and Gordon's preformance (they weren't the cellos, though--XD). I'm doubled over, coughing my throat off, in the hall, when some guy yells at me to be quiet. What a jackass. *** Wow! A new post! Dude...I've sucked recently, around here, and I appologize for it. : (

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Saturday, May 22, 2004

We do yaoi commisions!

There is an unhealthy number of people in the world that simply cannot see the benefits of standing in line, outside, in the cold and wet for an hour to get into an equally-crowded ballroom-like facility without a working payphone. Thank the Powers That Aren't that I am not one of them; that's right: it's convention weekend in T.O. again! We thought going at 10:00am would get us in, as it opens then. Boy, were we ever wrong. Next year, we are so showing up at 7:30am. But that's not the point. The point is I got a Sakura plushie. It, much like Pocky, is better than you. (I payed $25.99 for it, and I am the only--only!--one who touches it. >:^O) I also got a Shikamaru figurine^.^, volumes three and four of the new-edition Nausicaa releases, two identity cards that give "the license holder immunity over any law within Japan", a free booklet with a school-girl running into the bath-house from Spirited Away, and two fabulous fan-prints! *does a dance* The first print is of Sakura-chan as a jounin, with a mask covering the bottom third of her face. I chose it over the comical one of Lee saying, "Wachoo lookin' at, foo'?" (at least, it looked like he would have been saying that XD) was because of the colouring. Aaa--and it is gorgeous! The style is beautiful, and the water and mountains in the background are simply astounding. However, nothing could ever match up to the second print; Shikamaru, Kakashi, Sasuke, Iruka, Lee, and some one else who you can only see the hand of, all in a pile with Naruto on top of them. Sasuke is grabbing at Naruto's ass, and, at the top, it says "mine." (<--there is some punctuation difficulty here, but I did the right thing--it's ugly; i'll change it back...) It was the last copy, too! The lady who was about a foot away from me lost it by a second. Muahaha...! Godel strikes again! Truth be told, I was astounded by the number of Inuyasha's that were walking around. There were a few Vash's, alot of Sakura's, a few Sasuke's. Two Gai-sensei's, three Lee's, two Orochimaru's, about five Temari's. Oh, and the Gaara's! Unbelievable! Never before in my short life have I seen as many paper-mache gourds at once, in the same place!^^ There was even a Nabeshin--I think I must have been the only person to identify him to his face, because, when I screamed out, "Nabeshin, we love you!", the guy's face contorted into the widest expression of delight and relief I've ever seen. Heh. And he dind't even have a pink jacket. >:^O I also managed to correct a few people's ideas about who Godaime is, talk to a Neji look-alike, have a discussion about male-male butt-grabbing with some people selling prints (Guess who I bought mine from... They had a sign saying, "We do yaoi commissions!" with a picture of Naruto and Sasuke kissing! How could I not have bought something from them?!), talk about Sasuke's over-popularity with the plushie-selling-lady (I thing I got that address right--haven't been to the site yet, so don't kill me if it's in any way disturbing. XD), and much more! Oh, and I got a name-tag.^^ (I plan to use the A.E.G.I.S. I.D. in my wallet, if I ever get one. Well, one with an I.D. holder-place. : / My current one is...cool. : D ) I have yet to wash the cross-scar from my left cheek, and damn did today own or what?! The only sad thing was that Sammie-chan was too sick to come! *cries* You would have loved it there, dude! Especially the guy dressed as Lee who sold me my first print! He was cool.^_^ *runs around in circles screaming*

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Thursday, May 20, 2004

And I thought I'd seen oblivious suply teachers before today; when there are people playing badminton across the English room, you know something is horribly, horribly wrong. Actually, it was kind of cool: I mean, sitting there, discussing Gravitation, while half the class is reading comic books, and the other half is either playing badminton or screaming at each other is pretty damn refreshing. Especially after having just scored a 0% on a French quiz. It's rather strange: one of my (male) friends spent half the day following me around, demanding I let him read 'Gravitation'. He read all of volume four. I was surprised he was willing to read anywhere past the scene with Mr Aizawa the Shmuck From Uranus. *ahem* 'Gravitation'=a consistantly good thing. The other day, a school-chum of mine gave me a Naruto bookmark.^^ It was a free give-away at a bookstore in Japan (she used to live ther) and she had it lying around, so she gave it to me. Whee--I'm such a sucker for anything Naruto-related. : / Speaking of Naruto-related things... I CANNOT WAIT 'TIL SATURDAY. Ahh...cosplaying, shopping, AMVs, the possibility of finally meeting Arvie! ^_^ Haha! What a strike! I cannot believe that Alanna has exactly what we've been looking for all week: a plastic, yellow, bent baseball bat! *maniacal laughter* Too bad we couldn't get Mr Gar to dress up as anything fun. "I refuse to go as 1) a girl 2) a homosexual 3) a sexual predator." But what else is there to go as?!

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Wednesday, May 19, 2004

Today, as I was arguing, yet again, with an old/former "friend" of mine, I was finally able to place the scent that always hangs in the air around her: cigarette smoke. I was quite alarmed to realize, at that precise point in time, that I didn't care. Go figure. *** Today, I read a book entitled "Eats, Shoots, & Leaves" by an English lady, known simply as Lynne Truss. Any one care to guess what it was about?^^ That's right: PUNCTUATION. Finally! A book about something so intensely interesting and relevant! T_T (<---tears of joy) However, the above paragraph was not the true reason I bring the existance of this work of majesty to light. The reason is that I was almost offended by the last chapter and its way of antagonizing the internet and all who use it as a means of communication. Now, I am extrordinarily fond of my compupter, my e-chums, and all that perifernalia. I am also a manic grammar/punctuation enthusiast, so I was very pleased to find this book. (It actually has an entire section on how emoticons are destroying the English language. o.o"") However, I disliked the way it railed about young people and how we're going to kill off all sense of righteousness in the world of language. And this is not the only source of such attitudes (though they are not necessarily language-related). A while back, I read an editorial in the newspaper about how one man doubts that anything students submit to school any more is their own work. I despise this attitude. To almost quote him correctly, "It's like they just download everything and call it their own." I may be a lay-about who never does her homework, but if I ever did (actually, I do English assignments--so, HA!, Mr Broom-Up-His-Bum) I would do them myself. Unless, of course, they were mundain, unoriginial calculations. Then, I'd copy them. But I wouldn't download them. That'd take too long. Old people--honestly. *rolls eyes*

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Monday, May 17, 2004

I wonder if Allen Iverson knows his Chinese tatto says 'I desire young boys.'

The above, among other things, was written on the piece of paper my friends stuck to my locker last Friday. The results of this action have left me contentedly aware of the fact that my friends are some very cool people. After all, what kind of un-cool people would write what they did? May you kill billions of humans! -Monika May your head never asplode! -$amm Orc orc orc orc orc orc orc orc orc orc orc orc orc orc orc Riceballs o_o; -orc "SorryWhoever said "fighting doesn't solve anything" obviousliy never won a fight. -??? I think the last one there came from Yin, but I am unsure, as most of these people did not sign their names. -.-" Ahh, yes. It was a good day. I ambled down the hall, after exiting the strings room (there was morning practice again x_x) to see the smiling face of Rock Lee shimmering in the flourescent light. Upon changing the angle from which I stood, I was also able to see the beautiful violet eyes of Hyuuga Neji staring straight back at me. *faints* So, now I'm a teenager, whatever that's supposed to stand for. Hoo. Ray. *** The summer she was eleven, Drusilla went abroad with her parents. There she climbed endless flights of stairs. She tried to make out the subjects of vast dark paintings. Sometimes she was made ill by curious dishes. She was called upon to admire views. When the weather was bad, she leafed through incomprehensible magazines. One morning her parents, for some reason or another, went on an excursion without her. After luncheon an acquaintance of the family, Miss Skrim-Pshaw, took Drusilla with her to pay a call. They walked to an inn called le Crapaud Bleu. They were shown to a garden where the topiary was being neglected. Drusilla was told she was oging to meet a wonderful old man who had been or done something lofty and cultured inthe dim past. Eventually, Mr Crauge appeared. He kissed Miss Skrim-Pshaw's hand, and she presented Drusilla to him. After they had sat down, Drusilla saw that Mr Crauge wore no socks. He and Miss Skrim-Pshaw mentioned a great many people who had done things in their conversation. Tea was brought: it was nearly colourless, and there was a plate of crystallized ginger. Mr Crauge asked Drusilla if she liked paper. He said he would have liked to show her his albums filled iwth beautiful pieces of it, but they were upstairs in his room. Drusilla promised when she got home to send him some insides of envelopes she had saved. Miss Skrim-Pshaw said it was time they made their adieux. On the way back a few drops of rain fel. Somehow Drusilla was hungrier than she had been before tea. Days went by. Weeks went by. Months went by. Years went by. Drusilla was still inclined to be forgetful. One day, soemthing reminded her of her promise to Mr Crauge. She began to hunt for the evelope-lingings in her room. On a sheet of newspaper at the bottom of a drawer she read that Mr Crague had died the autumn after she had been abroad. When she found the pretty pieces of paper, she felt veyr sad and neglectful. The wind came and took them through an open window; she watched them blow away. The above story is entitled "The Remembered Visit". It was written by Edward Gorey, and is quite possibly my favourite book, although it is short. I would have loved to show you the wonderful artwork, but I don't have it on my computer. Just thought I would share that with you.

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