Saturday, May 7, 2005

Dumb people suck.
For my 30% final science project of the year, I decided to report on life on other planets. By this, I intended to focus upon necessary elements and environmental factors, allowing for the existence of cute little micro-chaps.
However, THE INTERNET seems to be convinced that over 72 separate breeds of alien life are currently in cahoots with the US government and are going to eat us or something.

Click here to learn the details of the ALIEN MASTER PLAN.

...

Fucking idiots.


I was reading the paper this morning, about how some kids from a private school created a "chat board", which was then bombarded by pro-Hitler bullshit. Some kids got expelled and suspended from their prissy-bottom education place and, of course, it's all the internet's fault. Everything is the internet's fault.
Your kid being picked on at school? Blame the internet.
Your kid failing school? Blame the internet.
Your kid watching porn? Blame the internet.
Your kid swearing? Blame the internet.
Your kid saw that one VG Cats, then set off to cut off your neighbor, Tommy's, balls? Blame the internet.

It astounds me that any one would publish the words, "...is concerned that his daughter spends time on MSN."
OH NO NOT MSN GOD HELP US.
Jesus Christ. Technophobia is the lamest god damn thing on the face of the planet. If I'm ever stopped in the street and asked if I think [insert something fun and cool here] is to blame for cancer and also Tycho killing his wife, I'm going to shove a third-party wireless mouse down whoever stopped me's throat, then run away, smashing in the windows of any store that sells products that don't require electricity to use properly, barring books, because books are books and awesome.

And know what else is lame? Old people trying to publish guides to emoticons and internet "lingo" so parents can "keep an eye" on their kids. If by keep an eye, you mean ignore them entirely, then show up and freak out because the conversation contains the words "snot" and "piss".
Honestly: if it was worth worrying about, your kids wouldn't let you know about it. Therefore, there is nothing you can f'ing do about it and Jan Wong is dumb and therefore sucks.

GAH.

Idiots. They're everywhere! They run our civilizations!

Excuse me while I go stab some random soccer mom in the face.
Comments (5) | Permalink

Friday, May 6, 2005

Lots o'spelling mistakes in here.
Tout le monde sait les personnages des jeux vidéo: Mario, Pac Man, Donkey Kong. Nous savons les mondes qu’ils habitent, mais beaucoup de gens ne savent pas comment ils sont nés ou qui a les créé et pourquoi. Ces personnages ont changé beaucoup depuis ses premier introduction au monde des jeux vidéo qu”ils ont aidé créer. Aussi, ils ne sont pas les premiers. Il y a une longe histoire des jeux vidéo: par example, Nintendo a existé depuis dix-neuf-cent-sept et le premier jeu vidéo qui on joue au ordinateur est né en 1961.
Pong, le premier jeu vidéo, a posé le commencement d’une nouvelle ère du divertissment. Willy Higinbotham a le développé en dix-neuf-cent-cinquant-huit, mais il n’a pas le breveté, parce qu’il n’a pas sait que son invention est important. Il n’aurait pas pu être plus inexact: après Steve Russell a inventé “Spacewar”, pour l’ordinateur, en dix-neuf-cent-soixante-et-un, Ralph Baer et une équipe d’entrepeneurs ont copié Pong et aussi créé une nouvelle jeu au chaser. Depuis, ils ont adapté “Spacewar” pour la télé. Le nouveaux “Computer Space” a été le premier jeu d’arcade. Pong a été réinventer encore en dix-neuf-cent-soixante-douze, par Atari. Ils ont le donné son nom.
Mais les jeux vidéo n’ont pas été vu comme autre passe-temps. On a juste peut les jouer au arcade, avant le “Magnum Odyssey”, la premier machine de jeu pour la maison.
Avec il, a arrivé “Death Race 2000”, un jeu qui on exige de tuer les piétons pour gagne les points. Il a été le premier jeu qui a pose un aspect violent. Il a inaugrée un dilemme pour les parents et jeuns—est-ce que les jeux videos influencent les jeuns? Sont-ils la cause du violence? Imagine que “Grand Theft Auto” n’a pas été inventé encore!
En dix-neuf-cent-soixante-dix-huit, “Space Invaders” a causé l’absentéisme de beacoup des adolescents en Amerique et une manque des piéces en Japon.
Un ans après “Block Buster”, le premier jeu vidéo a main, les States-Unie a utilisé un jeu vidéo du combat pour entrainer les soldats.
Et puis, il y a été Pac Man, au début, “Puck Man”. Mais, on a découvert que les vandales peux effacer une partie du “P”. On peux l’imagine.
Pac Man n’a pas juste été le plus populaire jeu vidéo qui a existé en histoire, mais le premier jeu qui a été aimer par plusiers filles.
“Defender” a été le permier jeu avec un monde véritable.
En dix-neuf-cent-quatrevent-et-un, Mario est né. Mais, il a s’appelle “Jump Man” est il a eu une petite amie s’appelle…Pauline. Avec-t-ils, Donky Kong est né, aussi.
Peu après, le premier revue des jeux vidéo a été fondé. Il a s’appelle “Electronic Games”. Au jourd hui, il y a beacoup des revues des jeux vidéo, comme “Nintendo Power”.
Dix-neuf-cent-soixante-deux a marqué le commencement d’un nouveau dilemme: la pub dans les jeux vidéo. Pendant les annés, il a dévéloppé une grande controvèrse—pendant les jeunes jouent aux tes jeus favorites, ils sont exposé a la pub. Ms Pac Man a utilisé les produits reconnaisable, comme Coke.
Maitenant, on peux trouvé beaucoup des produits dans les jeux vidéo, comme les piles Duracell, en Pikmin 2.
Donc, beaucoup des gens trouve-t-ils amusant et fait des commentaires publiques. Sur l’internet on peux trouvé les band desiners qui le fait, comme VG Cats, par Scott Ramsoomair.
Depuis dix-neuf-cent-quatrevent-deux, les jeu vidéo a évoluer plus vite. Nous avons vu beaucoup des system des jeux, et plus sont en développment.
Tout le monde sait les jeux vidéos. Plus des jeunes l’aime et plus des parents les deteste. Ils ont influencé les mondes du divertessment et, aussi, la publicité.
Ils sont une form d’artisonat.
Comments (10) | Permalink

Monday, May 2, 2005

The gods must be crazy.
Or really have it in for my pal, J-----.

It's a funny story, actually. Goes a little something like this:

Everybody: *eats lunch*
J: What the hell is wrong with you people?! The rain stopped already, damn it! Let's go play tennis!
D: You see those clouds slowly, but surely, blocking out the rays of the sun?
J: You're just a sissy! It's beautiful out! I'm going to play tennis! *steps out from under awning*
Sky: Know what's a really awesome thing right about now?

And then it suddenly, violently, brilliantly, began to not rain. No, it didn't rain--the sky was shedding full-fledged hailstones. The first hail in weeks.

It was the most beautiful thing I've ever seen.


Took part in the written section of my French 30% summative today. Did it without thinking, seeing as it was way to fucking easy. The only thing I wouldn't have understood would have been the words "assez" and "cornac". But, seeing as math class is kinda pointless these days, we [myself and a few kids in my vacinity] guessed which story from our Anthologies would be used on the test. And we guessed right.
And so I knew what "assez" and "cornac" meant.

At least I think the word was "cornac". I don't even remember any more.-_-

Anyway, upon getting home I realized something: that test was worth ten percent of my mark.
Bwahahaha.

To make matters even better, my science teacher, instead of being irritated at me for failing my test when I asked her if I could re-write it, said I had submitted the best damn stem-cell research essay she'd ever read, by any one in my general age group.
My strings ensemble can now play our entire piece in time, without sounding too, too bad.
And I passed a math quiz, so there.


You know the fifties are long over when a teacher will happily spend an entire period talking to two of her male students about douching.

"Oh, so that's what a douche is!.
Comments (4) | Permalink

Friday, April 29, 2005

Every time you litter, my friend kills a baby.
Remember that, next time you consider dumping your trash just anywhere.


One of my friends brought a mini-Bible to school today. Mini as in you need a magnifying glass to read it, which he persisted to do throughout part of Art class, until my friend sat down, stood up again, pointed to him, and screamed, "EW! Why the hell would you even do that?! Do you want me to kick your ass?! That is completely inappropriate!"
"The Bible is inappropriate?"
"Raping your father is inappropriate!"
Because that actually happens in the Bible, despite "incest is wrong" and stuff.


The other day, I was in the caf before first bell, reading "Jonathan Strange and Mr Norrell", when a couple of grade sevens come up to me and one of them says, "Can I have a hug?" I figured, "Sure, why not? Everybody could do with a hug!" and said, "Okay."
I forgot about it pretty soon after, until, at lunch, the same two girls came up to me and asked for another hug. I thought it was pretty funny, but now, two days later, I find myself fearing to separate from my three or four guy friends I eat lunch with. Because, you know, being accosted in the halls three or four times a day is getting just plain weird.


I have to compile a three minute presentation on the history of video games, in French, for a week from now, which is half cool, half pretty fucking annoying. I mean, it's awesome that we have absolute freedom of topic, but the fact that I have to do a presentation and crap kinda sucks.
My friend's doing his on the history of cannibalism, though mostly because of me.
J: What should I do mine on?
Godel: EATING PEOPLE.
J: Okay. *gets up to ask teacher a question*
Godel: o.o;;

The next day...

J: Hey, would you edit this for me?
Godel: You conjugated "manger" wrong here.


Know what's pretty damn funny? My friend failing a geography test because he, in the middle of the hall, said to my other friend, "Remember to include a title!"
The teacher overheard, yelled at him, told him he had a perfect paper, then failed him for giving away answers.
Which proves that helping others is fundamentally wrong.


Also, "Speed Grapher" keeps trying to pull Tokyo off as "the center of capitalism and corruption" or some shit like that. Haha--not happening, so sorry. Not while America exists.


And now, Dark Cloud 2.
Comments (8) | Permalink

Monday, April 25, 2005

A Stakepherium Intelekshuwall
My school has a lot of old textbooks, from the seventies and whatnot. Our health textbooks were published in '72, last time I checked. On top of this, they are, for some inexplicable reason, American. And very misleading.
For instance, they provide us with a story about Monique, the troubled young lady who began drinking to deal with her problems, then woke up one morning to discover she had contracted HIV.
The unlikelihood of her having the proper equipment and motivation to preform an HIV test at home aside, this basically tells us that alcohol gives you STDs. Indeed, heavy alcohol use can lead to you getting drunk and laid by somebody with herpes or whatever, I suppose, but you wouldn't have contracted HIV from the alcohol, itself. This really seemed to confuse some people, though I felt the example was rather obvious in its insubstantiality.
Then, we have the story of Jane, who got into weed and became pregnant. Once again: "You can get pregnant from smoking weed?"
Though the scare-tactics can be interpreted as pretty funny, I think whoever compiled these "examples" was either a) stupid or b) a piss- and a pot-head at once.

These books are also very tsk-able, when it comes to being in a Canadian classroom or one containing females: they not only express that a "romantic" relationship can only ever involve two people of opposite genders, but imply that the male psyche is the only one involving any kind of sex-drive.

And they're punctuated/spelled rather poorly.

And so, we are left asking, "Why...? Just...why...?"

As an amusing aside, my teacher started the unit by saying, "I know kids your age don't like talking about sex." Feel free to start correcting that in seventeen different ways any time, now.


Yesterday, I got Dark Cloud 2. I spent about an hour looking around the mall for it, but EB was the only place carrying it, and they only had it used. In a particularly manhandled box, I might add. However, since it was, like, twelve dollars, I bought it and switched its case with that of the Tomb Raider Movie One or whatever it was called. Because nobody looks at/gives two craps about Tomb Raider.
Anyway, I've only played for a couple of hours, so I haven't defeated Halloween yet, but I love it already. Everything from the cell-shading, to the inventions, to the monsters, to the dungeons, to the absolute adorableness of it all and the pinstripes I selected for Max's pants.
The only thing I really can't stand is the voice-acting--"movie caliber" my ass.

Too bad I wont have much time to play it for a month or so, because of exams and summatives and other variations of bullshit.
Fucking school. >: /


Anyway, sorry for the short-tastic posts up until now, but there've been some problems recently, so I didn't get much time to post. I wont go into them, but they're why I didn't say anything to my cousin about his saving over my file. (You'd agree it would have been a terrible thing to do.)


"Autodidact" is a nifty noun to be. We should all try our hardest, since it's the only way to know we're getting it right; "...done right, do it yourself" and all that. : )
Comments (4) | Permalink