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Saturday, December 18, 2004
SMILE!! X__X
As you may or may not have guessed from the above comment, I gained something today. It wasn't a lesson, it wasn't a moral, it wasn't a friend.
It was a CD. It cost me twenty-two Canadian dollars and I did not have to send away for it. In fact, I just plucked it from the shelf as though it were a box of Pocky or the first season of .hack (on sale for $20 at that one store), paid, and was happy for the rest of the day.
I also bought three more Christmas presents, drank a large bubble tea, ate tuna and egga and plain Chinese egg buns, stood around for a while at the bank, and got to hang out with my friend.
We were at the bank so she could turn her dollars (US) into dollars (CA).
Apparently, after we bought the tea, she received a "fake" ten dollar bill, although the shiny leaves and poetry and everything else were intact.
She tried to pay for a CD with it, and the lady just said, "This isn't real." So she had to break her twenty. T.T
So yeah. I got SMILE!! X__X.
It owns you.
I own you. (But you knew that.)
Additionally, Senpai has officially started! : D
I'm not sure, however, Vince, my little cabbage, what precisely you want my section to entail.
(Great use of obscure references, btw.^_~)
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Friday, December 17, 2004
Wai!
Shogun...in a box. : o
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Thursday, December 16, 2004
Aww...
The saddest, yet most touching, story that has ever been born unto cyberspace.
u.u
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Wednesday, December 15, 2004
Level 20 Godel...ph34r with great ph33r.
What some people didn't seem to realize about my last post was that this set of laws and regulations will be put in place under my personal rule. That is, the world will be a Dictatorship, not some silly, useless, Americanized view of Communism.
Reproduction is a privilege, not a right, and abusing privileges ends in their being revoked.
Additionally, if you are not able to use your sex organs in a responsible manner, why ought you to be allowed to keep them? That would be stupid of those who hold heavier status than you.
When I rule the word, burning books, sheet music, and instruments will all be capital crimes.
Every child will attend school, regardless of their monitary status, and these schools will all be the property of the government, and therein the people. Private schools, religiously-based schools, schools revolving around a specific culture, and any other schools within this vein will be outlawed if not intended to merely compound knowledge gained through the public system.
Every student, every day, will spend one hour listening to music and writing an essay to do with it. This will not only better society's writing and speculation skills, but encourage a more relaxed atmosphere, when it comes to life.
Additionally, every one will learn to play an instrument, accompanied, naturally, by the study of timing, tempo, and how to make sounds sound good together.
There will be put in place a fine for creating unanimously-declared ugly buildings. All buildings must display some degree of aesthetic sense and those who violate this code will be put into remedial art classes, regardless of previously planned engagements.
No one will work more than eight hours a day, except during the busy season, three months before which the employer will be obliged to create a written document dictating that his or her employees will be being worked for extended periods of time. This document will have to be approved, then signed by the employees in question.
An employer may not fire an employee for refusing to sign the document.
Every person on Earth will speak three languages. It does not matter which languages, specifically (bar one), but one will, of course, be that of the place they were born. The second will be chosen by the child--not his or her parents--when he or she first enters school.
The third will be English, so every one can understand me and interpret my words based on what I've actually said, not what some one claims I have.
I will accept complaints from my various peoples from nine to five every day, except on weekends and holidays.
These complaints will not be filtered by any one before being read and considered.
Spamming the complaints box/hotline will result in a year of house arrest, without internet access.
No one likes spam.
(This regulation includes both the act of submitting superfluous amounts of "ur a faggort lolzorz"-esque messages along with the act of hurling processed meat products of questionable reliability at any members of the complaints-taking committee, hand selected by Godel. Or any one else for that matter.)
Indeed, hurling spam will be strictly outlawed.
I will be Godel. No one will ever see my face, but for my friends and family, who will be none the wiser that I am, indeed, running the world.
They will come to see me as whatever figure most accurately reprisents absolute power and genius in their mind.
There will be world-wide debates over who I am, where I came from, and whether or not I actually exist.
The world will be run off a laptop that no one will even know exists.
They will make me their idol and their god and I will rule aboslutely and no one will question my ability to smite them down with the most minimal effort.
Ph34r m3.
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Tuesday, December 14, 2004
Dear, my friend...
People are always going on about peace on Earth and making our world a better place, but who ever really develops a plan to make it so? Godel does, that's who--and my method is both simple and failproof:
Mandatory Reproduction Licenses
Think about it: if every potential parent underwent a series of tests, revolving around a number of concepts that are mandated when it comes to parenting, we wouldn't have nearly as many problems as we do today.
Achieving a License to Reproduce will be just about every one's idol and first priority. They will teach you, in school, the qualities that make some one fit to involve one's self in fornication resulting in offspring, including everything from basic hygene to the ability to not condone fire arms. If you are failing the specifics of these concepts, sorted per grade level, you will not be allowed to move on to the next grade, regardless of your academic ability.
Additionally, if a child is to start spouting cult-based nonsense to do with the source of their intolerance or utter stupidity, their parents will be brought into consideration, scrutinized. If it turns out that little Jessie's mommy and daddy have been telling her that she is worthless because she is a girl or that gay people ought to be shot, they will be stripped of their license to reproduce, have their child taken from them and placed in a foster home, and jailed for ten years, a sentence involving societal values rehab.
Little Jessie will be put in a loving home, where she will be taught by her caregiver(s) real values, ones that will enable her to earn her LtR, when that time comes around.
Additionally, if a parent dictates that they do not want their child to be part of sex education class, the same consequences will be put in place. However, in this case, the parent will have to, themselves, undergo remedial sex education, to ensure that they are properaly equipped with the knowledge to do with just where their little Bi Wei, Marten, or Rajan came from.
Teenagers will not only be better educated about what parenting involves, but will be aware that becoming or getting some one pregnant is, in fact, an illegal action for them to partake in. Teen moms and dads (even if their doomed offspring were mere fetuses at this point) will fall under the Youth Protection Act, though they will still be punished for illegal reproduction.
If 20 weeks old or younger, the fetus will be aborted; if older, birthed. However, the child will immediately be taken from the mother and father, to be given to a parent or set of parents who are licensed to handle raising a child properly.
After all, no teenager (or any person under 25) is old enough to have a child, let alone children.
Branching off this, repeated acts of illegal reproduction will result in one being stripped of one's license to raise a child as well as the removal of the sex organs. This will ensure that no more "mistakes" will occur, along with being a magnificent disinclination to have unlicensed babies.
Once you attain a license, it is good for ten years, after which it must be renewed, but while in possesion of an expired or non-existant LtR, sex without the use of contraceptives will be a crime punishable by ten years, minimum, of jail time.
If contraceptives of a specific type or brand are proven faulty, the company responsible will be scrutinized and quite possibly shut down.
Any one, regardless of sexual orientation, race, gender, or social status, may apply for a License to Reproduce. This piece of plastic and set of documents will affirm that you have passed all the tests that make up the bare bones of a compitent parent.
No names will printed on the test, when handed in for grading, only numbers, of which every one will be assigned one. Those reviewing the test will not be able to discriminate on the basis of race or gender because of this.
This license will also be required to adopt a child, naturally, and any one attempting to adopt illegally will be jailed instantly.
There will be some exceptions, however, in the case of faulty contraceptives (as addressed earlier) and rape. A woman who becomes pregnant without her consent, through such means, will be given the choice of keeping her child and taking the test or merely keeping her child and putting it up for adoption.
Rapists, when caught and their guilt affirmed, will be relieved of their testicles and placed in prison for a minimum sentence of fifty years. After this, they will not be allowed to attain a LtR.
Child molestors, or molestors in general, will be jailed and relieved of their ability to earn a LtR, but would be allowed to retain their sex organs.
The same will apply to child pornographers or those taking pornographic images without the consent of the victim.
Murder will, of course, end in your lack of a LtR.
Remember, kids, study hard and be nice to your neighbors--bad little children don't get to procreate.^_~
***
And, yes, "Engrish" is being updated regularly again.
Also, join the RPG started by Wondershot, "Senpai", by heading on down to the Inn.
I joined, Sara joined. If you don't join, you're not cool.
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Monday, December 13, 2004
Godel is an idiot.
Locked myself out of the house today.
Ai~...
Additionally, watch this.
Something most of my friends would do. Again: ai~...
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Friday, December 10, 2004
What an anti-climax.
Indeed, the above is all I can say for the events that transpired last night.
I have sacrificed hours upon hours of time that could have been spent eating dinner, sleeping, finishing my homework, developing my High School application, and, most importantly, on the computer.
Much like last year, pretty much nobody clapped for the strings, which is understandable, as, though all our bows were in sync (to the extent of my knowledge) and we played a somewhat "intense" Fantasia, along with some crap and a song by the Beatles, we were not loud enough.
This was due primarily to the fact that no one is in strings. There are only about 25 of us, most of whom are unbearably quiet about it.
Additionally, our lead second's, who is also our only third for some songs, violin broke in the middle of the preformance. His D string and G string (those jokes aren't funny any more, btw) went way out, so we were left thirdless and with ultra-quiet second violin.
Compounding this was the fact that certain people wouldn't shut up during the preformance.
People were talking the whole time, which really pisses me off. What pisses me off more, however, is that the conductors of both band and strings started us up before the audience had shut the fuck up.
The conductor should have stood there, for as long as it took, until the whole room was silent. Then we should have played, while people were listening.
They would have taken the hint the first time and kept fucking silent for the rest of the evening. If they hadn't, we should have had the VP bitch at them or something. Especially those kids sitting behind me.
They're actually classmates of mine who happen to think they were involved in and "behind" the alleged "Holiday Harmonies" (every one agrees the posters manage to make it read "Holiday Hormones") event, because they made some shitty paper snowflakes.
Those snowflakes looked like they'd been slapped together at the last minute by a developmentally challenged, left-handed four year old using regular scissors. And my homeroom teacher went crazy over them.
"Oh look at this--it's so pretty. Why aren't the rest of you involved?"
Yeah, the rest of us are fucking involved enough in the crap the school throws together to actually be on stage. Preforming. (Actually, this isn't true: we get to sit in formation on the floor, as the band gets everything, from repair money, to music, to the stage.)
Because of that shitty performance, I haven't had a spare minute all week. Last night, I barely had time to eat, and I haven't left school until at least five on any given day this week.
And if I have, it's because I was heading back later, after doing everything else I had, but didn't want to, do.
And then I have to listen to my homeroom teacher bitch and moan about how I don't do enough.
She's just bitter because she's one of those teachers who always insists you go to dances and other meaningless crap like that and only twenty people out of the entire school have bought tickets to next Thursday.
Apparently, they are going to have to cancel the dance and all that hard work on the part of the "Prefect Club" (yes, they call it that) will go to waste. Good. They need a downer.
I'm tired of them walking into my homeroom class, in which they haven't any business, wearing their tight jeans and shitty Old Navy t-shirts and saying, "You have to come to the dance it's the holidays you have to be happy you have no holiday spirit."
I have holiday spirit. You should be able to tell that from the contents of my layout. I don't consider standing in a cafeteria that has been emptied of its tables, but not its garbage, full of hundreds of sweaty, whiney kids who think they can dance or that they have taste in music being in the "Holiday Spirit".
Tallying up your Christmas spending budget and calculating advanced methods of getting a PS2 out of your parents is holiday spirit.
Additionally, some bitchy lady came into math class today, asking for some of us to carry boxes for her. It was a way out of math class, so I volunteered.
I picked up a box that was rather lame in its lack of weight and she starts telling me to give it to Narayanan, since he's a boy and he can carry stuff.
I told her I could carry it, I could carry it with one hand, which I displayed, but she just got bitchier and started going on about how, "You're a girl. I'm a girl," as though this had any bearing on anything at hand.
The box was too heavy for Nar, so he had to put it down, resulting in my picking it up because my own box was stupidly light and she should have been able to carry them herself, instead of getting us to carry them for her.
Yeah, when we put them in her car, we should have dropped them on all her Christmas presents she'd just spent hundreds of dollars on, as she bragged to us.
That would have showed her how unappreciative people are of wanton and gratuitous bitchery.
On another note, my classmate gave his presentation on "Nineteen Eighty-Four" today, during which he revealed everything but the book's plot and purpose.
He did keep the audience amused, however, by quoting Ding Ding.
"'Nineteen Eighty-Four'? That's the most depressing and horny book, ever."
Class Reaction - : D
Teacher Reaction - ...
In my presentation, I get to say, "Explicit, wanton, and frequently unusual sexual euphemisms and situations."
Hooray for James Clavell. : )
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Tuesday, December 7, 2004
Des Pirates + The Beatles = wtf?^^
Seeing as the fabled "Arts Nite" (don't you love bad spelling?) is nearing (this Thursday, to be exact), I have been unpleasantly busy of late.
However, I have managed to get my [crappy] violin tuned, figure out what the hell the band is playing for the concert, reclaim my portfolio, to be included in...my other portfolio : /, and various other non-stuff.
I have, however, done all of this at the plight of this blog and "How to Learn Engrish".
Which brings me, rather nicely, to the subject of Japan, a country where no woman wears pants to the workplace and where you can by skin-"care" products that are intended to rob your skin of its melanin.
In Japan, if you are female, no matter how intelligent or talented, you are expected to marry early, stay home all day cooking and cleaning. Your function in life is to have breakfast ready before your husband wakes up and prepare dinner before he gets home. You are expected to speak more politely than a man might and stand no chance of equal pay or chance of being hired, if you do decide to break tradition and join the work-force.
I have this thing about housewives--I can't stand them. In all honesty, I find it rediculous and utterly disapointing that any woman would be willing to commit her life to doing nothing but cooking and cleaning and having babies.
If your husband pulls in enough cash and you don't have to work, then great, but don't use that spare time to do nothing but look after the house. Write a book, take ten different kinds of lessons, go back to school, do something.
And that seems to be what Japanese culture refuses to promote. Any place where it is an unspoken rule to never wear pants to work obviously has some issues to deal with.
Even in frigging video games and anime (that includes the ones that revolve around fighting, for alot of the part), any female character will have the frequently-exploited ability to cook, clean, and make a maid of herself. The character will most likely do nothing useful, sit around whining all the time, hanging off some male character's arm, speaking in a self-disempowering manner, which takes root in the mother fucking grammar.
Exceptions to this rule, that of the passive, unnecessary female character, are to be looked on in a very special light, indeed. Additionally, they seem to be the titles that the more intelligent people I know prefer, perhaps because, like me, they just get pissed off to do with all the sexism being thrown around willy-nilly or cannot take how unrealistic and socially held-back that mind-set is.
And I just used Japan as an example, but what really gets me angry is women who live in a society that promotes gender equality, not only legally, but in terms of society.
Women who walk around telling girls to be more lady-like and to wear skirts instead of pants or shorts, or that they're being Tomboyish and that no one will ever love them because they happen to play sports or have friends who are mostly male.
Women (and men) like that ought to be shot. They can go sit in the cold, dark, resourceless room I've set aside for the likes of them and screaming religious lunatics.
When you come into Canada, with the intent of becoming a citizen, you should have to swear to abide by not only our laws and Charter, but our common sense, as well. There ought to be a "How would you stay smooth?" kind of thing, during which they would ask you how you would deal with a few situations.
For instance...
Your daughter tells you she wants to become a doctor. What is your immediate reaction?
a) That's great! You have to work really hard, though--you do know that? I'm sure you'll be able to do it.
b) Blasphemy!!! WOMEN SHOULD NOT BE SENT TO DO A MAN'S JOB!! I HAVE A BROOM SHOVED TOO FAR UP MY ASS TO BE CONSIDERED COMFORTABLE, BY ANY OBSCURE STRETCH!!!!
c) Never! Doctors go against God's will! If God wanted us to be healthy, happy, and to make good lives for ourselves, why would he have invented disease! I have no daughter!
If you answer B or C, you get deported--it's that simple. It would take a major bite out of sexism, racism, homophobia, and other various stupidities' ability to hinder the further development of our society.
A successful society must be intolerant of intolerance to be anything but a mudhole of flea-bitten, theocracy-bound morons.
That's why it's tabboo to be racist and sexist.
I don't remember where I started this rant. Meh.
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Saturday, December 4, 2004
Way, way, north.
It's settled: Vince and I are starting a webcomic, though when is still a rather prevelent question.
The Cast:
Napolean Ng - Some poor, befuddled fob kid who got stuck with a rather unusual name. He's from Hong Kong, moved to TO when he was seven, and still has a discernable accent. Yes, he's that kind of fob.
He's basically a loser who spends all his time online or getting pissed, all while watching his beloved "Kinzoku". Additionally, he's 25.
Jono Laroque - Some Quebecois guy with a funny accent, who hangs out with Napolean, answering most of his questions with, "Mhm."
English Theophilus - A fansubber of "Kinzoku", with an energetic, yet cynical, disposition. She has no real life, but that doesn't matter, now, does it?
Fourteen and multi-lingual, you'll never guess her true identity.
Hildegard - Crazy indie fan who is madly infatuated with the charming, yet discombobulated, Yamamoto Tetsuya.
She faints alot.
Tetsuya Yamamoto - The creator of "Kinzoku", who travels alot and speaks 'every language but English.'
Don't you love him?!?!
Some other people!!!!!11!11one - Inconsequential extras, mostly.
Basically, it's about Napolean, Jono, English, and Hildegard trying to get to Japan, where they will find Yamamoto-sensei, steal his houseplant, and get his autograph.
However, much to their joint surprise, English spots Tetsuya on the subway and chases him from Museum to Spadina, where she sets him to signing manga and box-sets Jono and Napolean are selling at the store with a really crappy name.
Anime conventions, poutine, beaver-tails, and P-Mall ensue.
The little possy's exploits are often reflected upon in Tetsuya's attempts to get his manga moving again, after a week or two of artist's block and several warnings from Jump.
The whole story covers no more than two or three weeks, but we don't know how many strips long it will be.
A quote:
"It's a big. Red. Dot. Sign this."
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Friday, December 3, 2004
Week from Hell: chapter end.
Because weeks only last as long as you have to wake up early. And this week really has been from Hell.
I don't particularly like staying after school until five or six every day, and then having to somehow split myself evenly between Kumon and piano lessons, while still finding an opportunity to eat.
So, yeah, I've been really busy, rendering "Engrish" and this blog both far from regularly updated.
Yesterday evening, my friend, Tia, and I both had to stay after school until about 4:30, which was later than the art teacher was willing to hang around. (She left about twenty minutes before us, so we could have, like, stolen countless allegedly-Greek pots and Chinese water-colour paintings and crap. : O )
Anyway, we stood around at the bus stop for about ten minutes, during which we ate an entire box of chocolate/peanut butter chip cookies. Ahh, good times.
Of course, when I later went to get dinner with my dad, I couldn't eat anything. Pft.
On a different note, what are the verdicts on the new theme?
I wanted to go with something obviously Christmas-y, but in an unexpected way. So...plaid and Hello Kitty.
I think it works. Azure said he liked it. I forget what Vince said, but I'll just go with, "Wow, Godel, you're a genius! I've never seen anything this well-planned or designed with such eminent skill!"
Yep. Sounds about right.
I talked to my art teacher about it, and she thinks I could get into Claude if I applied and added a bit more than figures to my portfolio, which currently includes five rather large paintings, a sketchbook, and one photo, which I can't find.
I need to work on that, so it will include artist's statements, many photos, some clothing designs, possibly clothing, and whatever else, that whatever including digital art.
Which is why I made this. Personally, I think it's a too simple for a portfolio, but I couldn't find anything else that would fit without looking just slapped-together.
The text is supposed to resemble Japan's flag--you know, the one with the red circle in the middle of the white?
I found all of those pictures through Google-ing. It originally started out as a simple combination of things that define our generation, but then I couldn't find enough for that, so I made "Japan'd" instead.
If you have any ideas as to what symbolizes modern pop-culture and will stick with us forever, tell me. If you have a picture you think would work...send it.
I really, really wish I had a digital camera, right about now.
~_~"
I'll need to go with run-of-the-mill film, which can end in death, since you never know if things have turned out or not.
However, the picture quality tends to be alot better, so old-school has its perks.
Gil punched Ivan in the face, during gym class, and broke his glasses. I still don't know exactly how this was achieved, since they were not facing each other at the time. O_o"
Gil just sort of...ran into him, with his arm outstretched, trying to spike or something. What a moron. Geez.
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