Tuesday, June 8, 2004

GAY ALIENS FOUND IN UFO WRECK

Never until this day did I dare imagine how far the stupidity of humanity (or at least tabloid newspapers) at large reached. That's right, folks: that headline is taken straight from the cover of the only black-and-white magazine line to be left utterly and forever untouched on the racks by the cash at the grocery store. And it got me thinking--who buys these things, anyway? My first instinct would be to imagine it's the people who find the headlines funny (to laugh at, as oppose to with, of course), and feel like showing them to their friends. However, it would seem that this cannot be true. After all--how can something that takes itself seriously live solely off of being mocked? And then there is the question of whether or not they do take themselves seriously. I have only one thing to say to that question: Well, I fucking hope not. Or are there really that many people out there, in the world, who buy into this crap? I mean, honestly: looking at the clearly-modiphied images of "every one's fav celebs" with pot bellies (I don't know what they're trying to push with some of these headlines--what do you mean Ashton Cutcher (sp?) is pregnant?! : O ), and the plastic human (okay: I will give them that they elongated the backs of the skulls a tad) skelletons (the kind Ms. Frizzle keeps by the classroom door) groping each other... Aiya. That's all I can say: Aiya. So, now comes another question: who here is willing to admit to having ever purchased one of them? I haven't, and wouldn't admit it if I had (And reduce myself to the lowliest of the low of mortal beings?! I think not!), but if there's any one here who has, would you mind telling me exactly what you find/found at all in-drawing about whatever crappy title you own? I highly--highly--doubt that any one here has even considered purchasing a sleezy tabloid newspaper/magazine, but hey. As for this specific headline... What is with it? Do they (whoever they are) really think people care? Would it not be sufficiant to merely state that alien skelletons (ignoring the fact that this is clearly false information...) were found in a UFO wreck? The country has all but completely forgotten about the issue of gay rights and marriage (The only people who seem to care, still, are those bitchy cult-members who whine at us about "saving marriage" over the radio--get a life. I mean, really.), so it's unlike that aspect of the headline has any degree of shock value. Perhaps if they had concocted this headline a few months earlier, it woudl have sold a few more copies (or gotten a bit more attention), but it's too late for that. And aliens. Who cares about aliens any more? Eight-year-olds? Pft. It kind of makes you wonder what these people went through before resigning themselves to publishing tabloid newspapers.

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