Tuesday, September 7, 2004

Get the hell off TDSB property, faggot.

Returned to school today, and I must say: it's more than what I was expecting. Through that, of course, I mean to imply that there were more stupid rules and broken record players in the shape of humans posing as teachers than I even dared imagine. Or maybe it's just because the first day of school consists without fail of nothing but, "I expect you to respect other people...come on time...don't wear hats...don't smuggle kukri into class in your backpacks..." Oh wait, that's right--how could I have forgotten? We couldn't possibly smuggle any form of weapon, let alone something as awesome as a kukri into class because we're not allowed to have backpacks during school hours. That's right folks: our sheltered community's school of eleven- through fifteen-year-olds is just so liable to smuggle drugs, blades, and guns into class, what with the complete absense of records of such, that it is foolery to think we should be trusted with backpacks at school. This, of course, isn't to mention the fact that we aren't allowed to use one binder for multiple classes, regardless of how little paper we receive during them. And there is at least one day on every schedule that consists of three core (that is, text-book-needing) classes in a row. All of which are on the outmost corners of the school, as far away from my locker as possible. Joy. We, though grumbling, accepted this, as it is now a rule enforced throughout all the area's public schools by THE BOARD, and moved on to lunch. We have always eaten lunch outside. The cafeteria reaks of man-flesh, is full of flies and popular people. Because of this, eating outside seems not only more healthful, but entirely pleasant. But, of course, when it comes to the rules of THE BOARD, healthfulness and pleasantness alike are not to be tolerated under any circumstances. So, just as Sammie-chan, myself, and a couple of our friends took the third or fourth bite of our sandwiches, the principal runs outside screaming. Principal: WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU ARE DOING?! NO EATING OUTSIDE! IT IS STRICTLY FORBIDDEN. Us: But...why? Principal: You're littering! None of us had been. In fact, there was no litter to be found within eye-site. The nerve some people have, accusing us of such a henious offence after removing all three on-location garbage and recycling recepticals. Sammie-chan: Okay, let's go eat off property, then... Principal: YOU CANNOT EAT OFF SCHOOL PROPERTY. Us: Er. I guess we're to go to the caf then...? Principal: NO GOING BACK INSIDE AFTER YOU HAVE GONE OUTSIDE. NO BRINGING OUTSIDE FOOD INTO THE CAFETERIA. YOU MAY NOT CARRY YOUR LUNCH IN A BAG. So, if the rules are as follows... -you may not bring lunch in a bag -you may not buy lunch and eat it inside the school -you may not buy lunch and eat it outside the school ...and if the cafeteria reaks of man-flesh, where is there to eat? I guess our only options are to bring lunch in tupper-wear containers, and go to Samm's house/Justin's house/the library for lunch every day. In fact, why not bring everything in tupper-wear containers? The books, the lunch, the pencils, the erasers... They can all go in boxes, as oppose to bags. Clear ones. There is no possible way for THE BOARD to find fault in that. In fact, I'm tempted to go out and by rediculously large tupperwear boxes... A couple of my friends intend to make a film out of the above dilemma for their Comprehensive Arts project. Didn't have English class today, which was kind of dissapointing, as I was sort of looking forward to our first English assignment. (I'll admit I love English and Art assignments, unless they were fangled entirely by THE BOARD, in which case they tend to be rediculously stupid.) I also helped a n00b find her way to her French class, resulting in lateness for Geography, which didn't matter any way, as the teacher might be the single most easy-going person I've ever been acquainted with. So yeah: I've done my good deed for the day. Now piss off. By the way, why did so few people comment on my post that was up for days? Don't you like Bards? Anyway, in the spirit of back-to-school-ness, here's a picture of Rei: Nifty.

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