Wednesday, December 15, 2004

Level 20 Godel...ph34r with great ph33r.
What some people didn't seem to realize about my last post was that this set of laws and regulations will be put in place under my personal rule. That is, the world will be a Dictatorship, not some silly, useless, Americanized view of Communism.

Reproduction is a privilege, not a right, and abusing privileges ends in their being revoked.
Additionally, if you are not able to use your sex organs in a responsible manner, why ought you to be allowed to keep them? That would be stupid of those who hold heavier status than you.

When I rule the word, burning books, sheet music, and instruments will all be capital crimes.
Every child will attend school, regardless of their monitary status, and these schools will all be the property of the government, and therein the people. Private schools, religiously-based schools, schools revolving around a specific culture, and any other schools within this vein will be outlawed if not intended to merely compound knowledge gained through the public system.
Every student, every day, will spend one hour listening to music and writing an essay to do with it. This will not only better society's writing and speculation skills, but encourage a more relaxed atmosphere, when it comes to life.

Additionally, every one will learn to play an instrument, accompanied, naturally, by the study of timing, tempo, and how to make sounds sound good together.
There will be put in place a fine for creating unanimously-declared ugly buildings. All buildings must display some degree of aesthetic sense and those who violate this code will be put into remedial art classes, regardless of previously planned engagements.

No one will work more than eight hours a day, except during the busy season, three months before which the employer will be obliged to create a written document dictating that his or her employees will be being worked for extended periods of time. This document will have to be approved, then signed by the employees in question.
An employer may not fire an employee for refusing to sign the document.

Every person on Earth will speak three languages. It does not matter which languages, specifically (bar one), but one will, of course, be that of the place they were born. The second will be chosen by the child--not his or her parents--when he or she first enters school.

The third will be English, so every one can understand me and interpret my words based on what I've actually said, not what some one claims I have.
I will accept complaints from my various peoples from nine to five every day, except on weekends and holidays.
These complaints will not be filtered by any one before being read and considered.

Spamming the complaints box/hotline will result in a year of house arrest, without internet access.
No one likes spam.

(This regulation includes both the act of submitting superfluous amounts of "ur a faggort lolzorz"-esque messages along with the act of hurling processed meat products of questionable reliability at any members of the complaints-taking committee, hand selected by Godel. Or any one else for that matter.)

Indeed, hurling spam will be strictly outlawed.

I will be Godel. No one will ever see my face, but for my friends and family, who will be none the wiser that I am, indeed, running the world.
They will come to see me as whatever figure most accurately reprisents absolute power and genius in their mind.

There will be world-wide debates over who I am, where I came from, and whether or not I actually exist.

The world will be run off a laptop that no one will even know exists.

They will make me their idol and their god and I will rule aboslutely and no one will question my ability to smite them down with the most minimal effort.

Ph34r m3.
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