Wednesday, March 17, 2004

Some inaccurately brilliant poetry by Teh Gar.
By Gar:

There had been a skirmish at the D&D that day;
and now there were few HitPoints with an hour left to play.
And then when Ivy died at first, and Xanaphia did the same,
an angry silence fell upon the players of the game.
A vengeful few got up to go in frustration while the rest;
clung to the hope which filled them with a weary kind of zest.
They thought if only Darkmoon could get a whack at that-
She’d avenge the death of Gonerall, her bucket, and the bat.
But CrowCall preceded Darkmoon, and Seraphina too,
and Khadgar’s wake had left the others reeling, black and blue!
So there were few remaining who weren’t in pieces, slashed, or gored.
And all their hope had rested in the blade of Darkmoon’s sword.
Then Seraphina had her head chopped off, without doing much harm,
and a lucky 20 Cleaved apart the sleazy CrowCalls’ arm.
And when the dust had lifted, they saw what had occured;
Daniel the Broad-Ranged sprung the trap in which they had been lured.
And from the one remaining, there rose a tortured yell;
It rumbled in the valley, it thundered in the dell;
An Intimidation roll the player Christie scored;
Daniel the Broad-Ranged shuddered as Darkmoon hefted her sword.
There was rage in the Dragoness’s stance as she took her comrade’s place,
but then the DragonFear had long since left the Broad-Ranged’s face.
And Daniel’s eyes were on her as she rubbed her hands with blood,
as she wiped it on her arms, Daniel then thought, “Oh crud”
Then while Daniel placed his sword in its scabbard near his hip,
Fury gleamed in Darkmoons’ eye, a sneer curled Darkmoons’ lip.
And Daniel threw a Fireball, it hurtled through the air,
The Dragoness just watched it with a haughty grandeur there.
Christie rolled a 1d20, which came up a seventeen;
Darkmoon took a little damage, but her scales still had their sheen.
From her opponent, Gartner *******, there came an annoyed grunt,
Said Darkmmon, “you can try again, that all-to-relied-on stunt”
With her reptillian certainty the Great Darkmoon’s visage shone;
Daniel said, “It isn’t over,” and bade the game go on.
Daniel summoned up his energy, let another Fireball go;
“Hah! I’ve got +3 to Reflex!”
But she failed her Saving Throw.
The angry Force of Buoyancy declared the roll a fraud;
a hand shot up from Christie and the multitude was awed.
And Gartner rolled for damage, and Darkmoon roared in pain;
and Daniel knew she would not be hit by that spell agian!
There was murder there, in Darkmoons’ eyes, her fangs were clenched in hate,
she brought the Yuan-ti forth and beat her claw against his pate.
Daniel did the Incantation, an “IGNIS TORRERO!”
And Time and Space were shattered by the force of Darkmoons’ blow!
With other people’s D&D, the people live in blight,
the DM is a moron, and they lose every fight.
Somewhere people live in pain, as people fume and shout;
Like the ******* household’s basement, where Darkmoon has been Knocked Out!

And there you have why Gar is so very cool. Just one thing, however: last time I checked, Khadgar was LEVEL FOUR. Unless I have been mallisciously and repeadidly lied to about said character, there is NO WAY that he could defeat Xanaphia, as she is level ten.

Thank you, ladies and gentlemen. Good night (for now).

EDIT: A funny conversation with Coolest.

Chunky the Donut Slayer says:I'm...very straight.~_^
Chunky the Donut Slayer says:Kidding.
Akhatariini -- Kit says:So you ARE gay.
Chunky the Donut Slayer says:Not about the gay thing.
Chunky the Donut Slayer says:About the hitting on you thing.
Akhatariini -- Kit says:Good.
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