Tuesday, January 10, 2006

   Daily Family Guy Quote
TELEVISION ANNOUNCER: We now return to the Smurfs...
(on television screen)
Smurf #1: Hey, did you have a good time last night?
Smurf #2: Smurf-tacular!
Smurf #1: Yeah, I saw you leave with Smurfette.
Smurf #2: Oh man, as soon as we got out of the bar, she started smurfing me.
Smurf #1: Shut the Smurf up!
Smurf #2: Yeah!
Smurf #1: Right in the Smurfing parking lot?
Smurf #2: Smurf-Yeah!
Smurf #1: Oh! That is freaking Smurf!
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Sunday, January 8, 2006

   Ready......FIGHT!
Yesterday was Another One of Me and My Friends Get Togethers. IT Was God Damn Fun! Super Smash Battles Were Kinda Intense and The DBZ Budokai Tenkaichi Fights Were Pretty Good Too. But My Favorite was The Beat on The Kirby! Three Against My Friend's Brother Who Killed By Sucking Them Up And Flying Of Far Spitting Them Out and Flew Back causing the other to die A Humiliating Death. So We All Beat His Ass! We Watched Tv and Ate 3 Large Pizzas Damn Fast And We Figured Out How To Split The 4th One. We Played Some Mario Kart and Most Of All We Had A Super Smash Tournamen But My Friend Robert Always Wins. We Will One Day Beat Him But We Need to Fight Hard! Until Next Time!
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   Daily Family Guy Quote
Diane Simmons: Tom, I'm getting late word that you're a petty, jealous closet-case.
Tom Tucker: Bit of breaking news, we now go live to Diane being a bitch. Diane.

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Saturday, January 7, 2006

   Daily family Guy Quote
Lois: Together we can do anything: face any foe, overcome any obstacle.
Peter: Yeah, climb any mountain, rent any video, dial any phone. And not just our phone, Lois, other people's phones. Decent phones, God-fearing phones, phones that everybody else gave up on, but we knew better because we were a team!
Brian: What the hell are you talking about?

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Friday, January 6, 2006

   Daily Family Guy Quote
Meg (to boy): Please go out with me. I'm just trying to make Neil jealous. I promise I'll pay and everything.
Boy: Yeah...uhh...that sounds cool but I'm gonna be in the hospital that night.
(shoots himself in the stomach with a nail gun)
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Wednesday, January 4, 2006

   Daily Family Guy Quote
Brain: Ugh, I can't beileve you're serving a three year sentance, it seems so harsh.
Lois: Well, the only upside is that it's given me time to think about why I ended up in here. I guess I was stealin' because I was so sick of the same old routine. I felt like I had a void in my life, like, like, there was a secret hole in me...
Quagmire: Oh God!
Lois:...and I was tryin' to fill that hole with all kinds of expensive objects, and things...
Quagmire: Oh God!!!
Lois: ...and I felt wonderful with all those things fillin' that hole.
Quagmire: Oh God!!!!!!
Lois: I did this to myself, so I'm just gonna have to lay back and let the penal system teach me a lesson.
Quagmire: That one is also sexual.

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Tuesday, January 3, 2006

Strength Fading....
.....Legs Hurt, Chest Hurts, School Getting More Annoying Than Usual. Need Senzu Bean!
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   Daily Family Guy Quote
FCC Suit 1: Gentlemen, we got 20 calls about the David Hyde-Pierce incident. And as you know, one call equals a billion people, which means 20 billion people were offended by this. Needless to say, something must be done.
FCC Suit 2: Perhaps we should ask the chairman.
FCC Suit 1: Good idea. (to the chairman) Uh, sir, we're wondering what course of action you recommend regarding the Hyde-Pierce incident.
Cobra Commander (the chairman): You've got to censor television, you fools! Now, follow my orders!

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Monday, January 2, 2006

   Damn This Is A WARM Winter and I'm Bored Out of My Mind!
This Winter is Fucking Warm and Just A Little Hot. Fucking Weather is Pissing Me Off. I Never Thought I'd Say This But, I Can't Wait To Go Back to School to See My Friends! I Don't Feel Like Playing My Games, Watching Superman: The Animated Series, or Even Watching My Movies. I Feel Like Talking to My Buds About Shit That People Usually Don't Talk About. If I Had Super Powers This Sort of Boredom Wouldn't Happen! It Would Be Great To Fly Around Breaking Shit and Melting Stuff and Yes Even Saving Day! That Would Be Awesome to BE Any Hero, Like Superman, Batman, Spider-Man, Goku, Kazuma, and Even The Great Saiyaman. Life Sucks, But When You Dream of Saving the World, Kicking Ass and Taking Names, Life is Great! Sort Of.
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   Daily Family Guy Quote
Judge: I'm sentencing you to 24 months in prison.
Lois: Oh no!
Brian: Oh no!
Chris: Oh no!
Meg: Oh no!
(Wall Breaks Open And Kool Aid Guy Shows Up.)
Kool Aid Guy: OOOOOOOH YA!
(They All Look At Him and He Slowly Walks Back Out.)

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