Thursday, February 23, 2006

   Our Farewell

Our Farewell by Within Temptation

In my hand, like a sea of memories, I can't hear you say my name. I can almost see your smile; feel the warmth of your wet face. There is nothing but silence now around the one I loved. Is this our farewell?

Sweet darling, you wait too much. My child, sees saddness in your eyes. You are not alone in your life, although you might think that you are.

Never thought this day would come so soon. We have no time to say good-bye. How can the world just carry on? I feel so lost when you're not at my side. But there is nothing but silence now. Around the one I loved. Is this our farewell?

Sweet darling, you wait too much. My child, sees saddness in your eyes. You are not alone in your life, although you might think that you are.

So sorry your world is totally in dark; I'll watch you through these nights. Rest your head, and go to sleep. As my child, this is not our farewell. This is not our farewell.

---

It's a beautiful song, really...

Emoticon (C) deviantART.com
Comments (1) | Permalink

Friday, February 17, 2006

   Phew!
I have had a TOUGH day! First, I had to survive 6 periods of torture, second, I had to deal with two of my friends, who are bitching about each other (I figure they may need some time apart), and next one of them wanted to commit suicide. I'm so glad that she's okay... She has to have adult supervision 24/7, but hey, as long as she lives and gets through this!

Last night, I was getting some wierd phone calls on my cell phone. I didn't recognize them, and when I answered (which I probably shouldn't have), there was just some beeping noises. It was really wierd. *nods*

I was just talking to my friend gothica on the phone a few minutes before writing this post, and we were talking about surgeries. It was kinda scary how many she's had!

Well, I thank thee for reading the stuff I type out, have a nice day, y'all.

Emoticon (C) deviantART.com
Comments (1) | Permalink

Thursday, February 16, 2006

   Life's a Butt
Oh, god. I hate my life. Yeah, I have a lot of friends and a mom who love me dearly, but lately I've been nothing but stressed and depressed. I can't find any way of venting out this anger and depression. It's not like I'm going through an artist's block, because, as an artist, I know what they're like and I'd be able to recognize them. This isn't a block. I'm losing interest in drawing, and I don't feel like drawing ANYTHING anymore, and I feel pathetic. I can't draw Chiggi, I can't draw Pagan... I can't even draw my helldog creatures anymore.

It feels like my life is falling apart before my eyes and I feel helpless in doing anything about it. There's all of this pressure around me and I'm expected to remember everything everyone tells me. I hate it, I can't stand it, and yet it continues. In order to keep my mind busy, I have to be busy. I can't be left alone to think about my problems or I break down in a major depression fit, and sadly, it happens very often. I get angry easily, and that I'm ashamed of. I don't like fighting with my friends, but I can't help what I feel and I end up starting arguments. It always happens, and I always feel like shit afterward.

Lately I've discovered I might have dislexia. My one friend has it, and I talked to her about the symptoms and stuff... We have a lot in common. It would explain the many problems I have with speaking, so I decided to live with it.

School is becoming harder, and I'm losing the motivation to go on quite fast. I recently recieved a very low grade in comparison to the ones I normally get, and that really lowered my self-esteem, not to mention stress level. I talked to my Biology teacher about how I should confront my parents with this problem, because they never seem to believe or listen to me. I'm going to work on what I was told, and I hope they work.

Anyway, I hope you all are doing okay, even though some of you are laughing at these issues I have (I've noticed some of the hate-comments I've been previously left, and I say those are having no effect whatsoever on these problems). Yeah... have a good day.

Emoticon (C) deviantart.com
Comments (1) | Permalink

Wednesday, February 15, 2006

   Depressed Lately...
I've been feeling really depressed lately... Maybe it's all the stress that's been piling up, I dunno. I feel really lonely very easily, very sad, and sometimes very angry. I'm not sure what it is, though.

I've been really uneasy about drawing... I'm not much into it anymore, and I'm losing interest of doing it. I'm tired of drawing dragons, and it upsets me how discouraged I become when I can't draw people right (copying doesn't count). Maybe I'll get over it, maybe not...

Emoticon (C) deviantART.com
Comments (2) | Permalink

Sunday, February 12, 2006

   Journals are like Windows.
Journals are like windows. Windows vent the air around you, so that it's circulated between indoors and out, old, stale air is replaced with new, fresh air. Journals are much like the same, but instead of air, you use feelings. You circulate it in and out of your mind (body), instead of inside and outdoors. Rash, unsensible feelings of hatred or great sorrow are replaced with a calm feeling, depending on which was felt first originally. You can close up a journal just as you close a window - trapping the stale air within until it becomes so immense that you do something drastic to reopen the window, and bring back your fresh air. Broken glass isn't found in just one circumstance.

I hate the people who call themselves my friends, and yet they can't even tell when there's something wrong.
Comments (1) | Permalink

Friday, February 3, 2006

   Fooling Around
Oh yeah, this is me and my best buddy gothica fooling around and stuff. She told me to put these up. =3 They're from a LONG time ago, though. XD

Comments (1) | Permalink

Thursday, February 2, 2006

   FRENCH
I've decided to post journals in French, so it will improve my speaking and typing/writing skills. Flame me and I will bite you. :F

Je démissionne de aime Goku et Kakarrotto! C'est vrai! Je ne sais pas porquoi, mais j'ai mon propre caractère! Mon homme est sexy et diabolique. Il est plus sportif ce Kakarrotto ou Goku! =P Monsieur Akira Toriyama le ne possède pas... JE LE POSSèDE! Il s'appeles << God of Life and Death >> ... pour moi, je l'appel << Kaky >>.

... Oui mes amis. Er, j'adore mon Kaky... Je le possède, et il est mon mari. *soupirs de heureux* J'adore mon Kaky, mais je veux Kakarrotto dans les clubs. =3 ... NE HURLEMENT PAS A TU!! De toute façon, je ne veux pas soumettre mon dessins du Kaky. Je suis égoïste avec mon Kaky. IL EST MIEN! Et je suis le sien.
Comments (1) | Permalink

Wednesday, January 11, 2006

   More Art
I deleted half of my pictures because

1) No one liked them
2) I don't like them

So, yeah... There should be about 7 more pictures of DBZ fanart coming, but I'm not sure if I posted a pic or not, so you'll have to wait and see if you're really that interested. *nods*
Comments (1) | Permalink

Thursday, January 5, 2006

   Ah, sigh. It's life.
People here are real screwballs, I swear. It's like a lot of 'em are perfectionists. If you can't draw EXACTLY like the original artist (which for most people that's an imposibility) you don't deserve to live!!! <- Exaggeration. Yeah, I know I'm not the best artist in the world, and a little critique is okay, as long as it tells me how to improve. But when you just flat out say you don't like a picture... that's not critique. That's influencing your oppinion, forcing it on other people to oppress them into doing what you want, ergo stop drawing. That's something I won't do, because drawing is in my nature and I just can't stop doing it. Sure, I have my down times when I can't think of something to draw, but I easily get out of that rut. And no, it's not because you so-called "critiquers" out there say my art sucks @$$. Well, you know what? It's your arse that it's suckin' on, 'cause you have no right saying that stuff to anyone who draws. Do you see ME going around saying other people's stuff stinks? No. I may give critique, and it may be a bit harsh (which I'm sorry for), but I still don't insult the artist. That's just plain rude.
Comments (0) | Permalink

Tuesday, January 3, 2006

   Artwork Update
I tried to add three pictures of Goku to this site. I don't know if they'll accept it or not because they ditched my last one. Here's to hoping. :)
Comments (0) | Permalink